Wordy Ramblings

Offbeat Sayings, or the Art of Wisdom by Trial and Error

2011-11-04T22:58:00.001+11:00

I'm feeling odd this evening, oh Rambling Masses, in a good kind of way. Time to make up some words of wisdom with a twist?

Never forget to take the time to smell the roses. But check for bees first…
Make hay while the sun shines, but not during bushfire season... and don't forget to wear sunblock and a good hat…
Be understanding of others' mistakes. Laugh at your own…
Be elliptical…
Find something to make you laugh each and every day. If in doubt, use nitrous oxide…
There are nearly 7 billion people that you don't know, and that know nothing about you. Try to change that…
When you're walking the path, don't just look straight ahead. There's some really exciting stuff off to the sides…
Pearls are just oyster tumours. What does that say about pearls of wisdom…
How you enter this world and how you leave it are certain. Embrace the uncertainty in the middle…
Every now and then, stare at your toes - they start to look really weird after a while…
If you are ever bored, find the drill that did it and turn it off…
If you ever find yourself getting angry, imagine how silly other people think you look when you are trying to put on your best angry face…
Carpenters who make their own bed must also lie in it…
If science is really that good, where's my flying car and my holiday trips to the moonbase…
Why do we walk around like we own the planet, when we are only custodians of its diverse wonders…
If words don’t come easy, wouldn’t they make great lovers…
The journey is every bit as important as the destination. Stop to ask for directions once in a while, and don’t be afraid to make a few wrong turns. Watch out for gingerbread houses, though…
If pain is the realisation of life, pick at the sores every now and then…
Look far afield and deep within with the same vigour…
Savour the past, live the now, dream of the future, and plot for world domination…
If life is too difficult, take some lessons…
Never be mediocre – aim for fabulous. You score more chicks that way…
Find someone that inspires you, even if it’s yourself…
The closer you get to the centre of a turning circle, the slower it’s moving. At the very centre, it’s not moving at all. Whoa…
If your mind is playing tricks on you – great. Some people pay good money for that…
Would we still love the story quite so much if it had been a Trojan Warthog…
Build your beliefs as a house of cards, so that the slightest breeze can knock it down. Then start whistling…
Backing yourself into a corner is bad. Backing yourself into a sharp spike is worse…
If you think you’re dreaming, don’t pinch yourself. Get 16 naked nymphettes to do it instead…
Everyone should make chunky soup at least once in their lives. It’s very satisfying…
Driving a car gets you places quickly. Too quickly. Try walking instead – you experience so much more of life’s wonders that way… including blisters if your shoes suck…
If you’re too busy, take the time to do something silly… but don’t take the time to be too busy again, because that would be silly…
Don’t worry about things you have no control over. This means you have control over whether to worry or not, and that worries me…
Saying sorry is easy. Meaning it can be harder…
Happy people are fun to be around. Since you are the one person you can’t escape from, just be happy for the sake of it and enjoy the fun…
There’s no such thing as a bad kung fu movie…
If time is an illusion, are we the illusionists…
Taking yourself too seriously is a serious problem…
Ask yourself these questions often – who am I and how can I become a better person? Then go and have a beer and forget all about it…
No matter how good you are at something, there is always someone who is better at it. Except for “being you” – no one is better at being you than you. Except for your evil twin…
Occupy life…
Did you know that in Denmark some people still call moisturiser “cow tit cream”? Ah, the good old days…

Hey, I'm starting to see a small book of offbeat sayings in the making here. If you like some of this rambling mess that I've come up with, let me know. If enough of you give megalomaniacal me the positive feedback that I crave, I might just write that book.

Bottoms Up

2011-10-01T08:44:00.002+10:00

Forgive me Rambling Masses, for I have sinned.

It has been over a year since my last ramble.

Do you know the wonderful thing about hitting rock bottom? It's quite liberating, and in a strange way, a very positive experience, albeit a painful one. I recommend it to everyone to try at least once in their lives. You learn a lot about yourself and about those closest to you. As long as it doesn't break you, you come out the other side a wiser and stronger person.

You also realise a great truth when you are sitting on your bottom on the bottom - there is only one way from here, and that's up.

Another thing that I always kind of knew but which I now feel deep within my gut is that life, and the world around us, does not exist as an absolute reality. It is all just layers of perception. For many years now, I have raged and railed at the world of humans for not living up to the great potential that lurks in the wings. I have been offended to the core of my being at the petty injustices and lack of reason. I have hated mankind as a species because I felt that we are a blight on this world.

I have expended emotional and intellectual energy to try and change that which I now see I have no power at all to change, except in minute increments on a local scale. And yet, I have continued to put my happiness in jeopardy by continuing this fight that can never be won, much to my own detriment. Impotent rage has no other path than to eventually turn inward.

My rock-bottom epiphany has begun a positive change within me. One of my favourite sayings has always been "do not worry about those things you have no control over", but I have never truly accepted that ideal until now. As I said before, life is all about perception - primarily our own perception. So now, I will worry about the things that I DO have control over. What happens to us in life is often beyond our control or outside the sphere of our influence. What we can control is how we perceive it.

As far as life-changing epiphanies go, it's a very simple one. But those simple truths are often the most important and the most overlooked. I have it within me to change my outlook on life and the way it affects me by making a shift in my perceptions.

So, bottoms up to you, dear Rambling Masses. Look for the positives - they are much easier to find if you stop focusing on the negatives all the time.

Of course, this won't get in the way of a good old fashioned rant from yours truly every now and then. Helps to clear the bile out once in a while, don't you know.

Stay beautiful, people.

More on the Vast Hordes of Aliens Taking Over Our Country

2010-08-05T19:48:00.009+10:00

Hello Ramblers,

Sorry to rabbit on about the whole asylum seekers issue, but it is a matter that I can't seem to let go of. Whenever I am faced with political grand-standing and good old fashioned hate and fear mongering, I have this inner voice that says "Go on, give it a crack. Try to get through to one or two people so they actually see the farcical charade for what it is". It is the one thing that typifies the mediocrity of our major political parties. Both sides of the political divide, along with the vast majority of the blessed media that is supposed to inform us, continue to punch this issue home, playing on our uninformed fears, as if it were a major concern for the 22-odd million people that live here in Australia.

My last few posts looked at some of the more esoteric issues pertaining to the human side of asylum seekers. the following is a direct copy of a GetUp article, attempting to debunk all of the asylum seeker myths using that most wonderful of things - facts. GetUp is an online organisation attempting to mobilise people of liberal thinking (note, not Liberal, but the true meaning of the word, unaffiliated with any political party) to band together and affect public policy through political lobbying.

The GetUp article follows;

Australia & asylum seekers: The myths and the facts

Who are asylum seekers?

The terms 'asylum seeker' and 'refugee' are often confused: an asylum seeker is
someone who has fled their home and is seeking protection from another country
stating that he or she is a refugee, but whose claim has not yet been evaluated (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR): http://www.unhcr.org/pages/49c3646c137.html).

In Australia, asylum seekers must prove they are refugees before they are granted a
visa. They must prove to government agencies that if they return home they face
persecution, imprisonment or harm for reasons of race, religion, nationality, their social group or political opinion.

Myth 1 – Australia takes in more than its fair share of asylum seekers

Contrary to what the media and many politicians are saying, Australia is not being
'swamped' by asylum seekers. From January to August last year, Australia took in
below average numbers of asylum seekers compared to previous years and global
intakes (UNHCR - Asylum Levels and Trends in Industrialized Countries First Half 2009: http://www.unhcr.org/4adebca49.html).

The UN High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR) has calculated that the average
number of asylum seekers accepted by a country in the global context is 197 per
million of population. On that basis Australia's fair share for the first 6 months of 2009 should be 4,197 rather than the 3,666 we have taken so far. (Crikey. 'When it comes to asylum seekers, Australia is no Malta' October 19th 2009:
http://www.crikey.com.au/2009/10/19/when-it-comes-to-asylum-seekers-australia-is-no-malta/). In comparison Canada, which has a population of just over 33 million compared to Australia's 22 million, received 6 times the number of lodged applications (18,722). (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees: http://www.unhcr.org/4adebca49.html)

In a global context, the average rate of asylum seeker intake according to population
ranks Australia 20th out of 44 countries worldwide, behind countries such as the United Kingdom, Ireland, Canada and Malta (which tops the list). (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees – The refugee story in statistics: http://www.unhcr.org/pages/49c3646c4d6.html)

According to another key factor – gross domestic product (GDP) – Australia falls to
24th place when ranked by asylum seeker intake per size of GDP. (Crikey, 'When it comes to asylum seekers, Australia is no Malta' October 19th 2009: Graph 2)

Myth 2 – 'Boat people' are swamping our shores

The vast majority of asylum seekers arrive in Australia by air. Last year, of the 13,500 people granted asylum in Australia only 206 of those arriving without visas came by boat; 2,291 came by plane – well over 90%. (ABC Media Watch – Welfare & Refugees, 26th October 2009: http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s2724620.htm)

There is also data to suggest that people who arrive by boat are more likely to be
legitimate refugees. Of asylum claims made by people who arrive by aircraft, 55% are
rejected. Only 2-15% of claims made by people arriving by boat are denied. (Crikey: http://www.crikey.com.au/2009/10/15/latest-wave-of-boat-people-push-or-pull/)

This number is also small when compared to the number of people who over-stay their
visa in Australia each year, particularly those on travelling visas, the majority of whom are English-speaking tourists. Conservative estimates suggest that, on average,
50,000 people stay in Australia without the proper documentation each year. (Sydney Morning Herald, Peter Hartcher 'At last, we have a real leader - pity that it's not Rudd':
http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/at-last-we-have-a-real-leader--pity-that-its-not-rudd-20091028-hl00.html)

Some media (ABC Media Watch – Welfare & Refugees, 26th October 2009 – Channel 9 News: http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/s2724620.htm) have been misquoting data that last year 13,500 asylum seekers were granted refugee status. The Department for Immigration & Citizenship has responded that the vast majority of these in fact 'came to Australia on valid visas as part of Australia's dedicated offshore refugee resettlement program or were proposed as special humanitarian program entrants - largely, they were not asylum seekers', with over 11,000 visas granted before entry to Australia through proper processes. (Response from the Department of Immigration and Citizenship to Media Watch, 22nd October, 2009: http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/0938_immigration.pdf)

Myth 3 – the Government's changes in policy have made Australia a 'soft target'

2,504 people lodged asylum applications in Australia from January to June this year,
an increase on the same time last year. This increase is in line with global trends. (The Australian, 'Liberals wrong on refugees' http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,25339551-5013457,00.html)

However these numbers are far below those in 2000 and 2001. In 2000, there were
over 13,000 claims in the first half of the year, with over 12,000 in 2001. (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees - Asylum Levels and Trends in Industrialized Countries First Half 2009: http://www.unhcr.org/4adebca49.html) This highlights the continuing fluctuations globally in the number of people seeking asylum caused by changing world events that force people from their homes.

From January 2008 to June 2009, only 750 people arrived by boat compared to 43
boats carrying over 5,516 asylum seekers in 2001, (Parliament of Australia, Parliamentary Library: http://www.aph.gov.au/library/pubs/bn/sp/BoatArrivals.htm) after the outbreak of war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Global events dictate how many people are displaced every year.

While some are claiming that the abolition of detention debt (in August 2009) and
temporary protection visas (August 2008) have made Australia look like a 'soft target,' this isn't the case. Since temporary protection visas (TPVs) were introduced in 1999, they have had very little impact on the number of people seeking asylum in Australia.

In the two years following its introduction over 8,455 asylum seekers arrived in
Australia by boat (Parliament of Australia, Parliamentary Library: http://www.aph.gov.au/library/pubs/bn/sp/BoatArrivals.htm) compared to the 2,504 people this year.

They have also had very little impact on the number of people being granted refugee
status. According to the Department for Immigration and Citizenship, nearly 90% of the people allocated temporary protection visas were granted a visa that gave them
Australian residency. Only 3% (or 379 people) granted temporary protection visas
departed Australia. (Response from the Department of Immigration and Citizenship to Media Watch, 22nd October, 2009: http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/0938_immigration.pdf)

Myth 4 – Refugees are a burden on our economy

Refugees offer potential for our economy – they are not a burden. Claims that
refugees cost the taxpayer $628 million were made by some media sources in the last
week, but they are baseless, with Centrelink, the government department in charge of
providing welfare, stating that there is simply no data to support this figure. (Response from Centrelink to Media Watch, 22nd October 2009: http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/0938_centrelink2.pdf)

Centrelink also highlights that 'only about 3% of Centrelink customers who were in
receipt of a Newstart Allowance income support payment at 30 June 2009 held a
refugee and humanitarian or permanent protection visa'. (Response from the Department of Immigration and Citizenship to Media Watch, 22nd October, 2009 – 5. Centrelink: http://www.abc.net.au/mediawatch/transcripts/0938_immigration.pdf)

The Department for Immigration and Citizenship states that immigration currently
provides 60% of our population growth, but within the next few years it will be the only source of net labour force growth in Australia. (Department of Immigration & Citizenship - Fact Sheet 15 - Population Projections: http://www.immi.gov.au/media/fact-sheets/15population.htm)

Myth 5 – Boats are bringing terrorists to our shores

Some opposition backbenchers have recently stated that arrivals of boats are likely to be a perfect cover for terrorists entering Australia. ('Terrorists .hiding' with boat people', Daily Telegraph, October 23rd 2009: http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/terrorists-hiding-with-boat-people/story-e6freuy9-1225790211002) In reality, the threat of terrorists entering the country in this way has been described by counter-terrorism experts as 'infinitesimally small'. (Dr Michael McKinley quoted in SMH article 'Rudd slams Tuckey's 'terrorist' asylum seeker comments', October 22nd 2009: http://www.smh.com.au/national/rudd-slams-tuckeys-terrorist-asylum-seeker-comments-20091022-hamt.html) Asylum seekers arriving by boat may face years of delay before gaining entry into Australia – as opposed to those arriving by air.

All asylum seekers arriving in Australia undergo thorough security checks from ASIO
in conjunction with Indonesia. Comparisons with the US found that those involved in
the terrorist activities of September 11 arrived on valid US visas. (Dr Michael McKinley quoted in SMH article 'Rudd slams Tuckey's 'terrorist' asylum seeker comments', October 22nd 2009: http://www.smh.com.au/national/rudd-slams-tuckeys-terrorist-asylum-seeker-comments-20091022-hamt.html)

Myth 6 – Asylum seekers are 'illegal immigrants'

Under the Refugee Convention, which Australia has signed, all people have the right
to seek asylum in Australia. (United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees: http://www.unhcr.org/3b66c2aa10.html) They may be found to be genuine refugees, and they may not – but seeking asylum is not illegal under Australian law or international law.

The term 'illegal immigrant', just like the term 'queue jumper', is designed to make
asylum seekers seem alien and unworthy of sympathy.

Boat People, or How We Lost Our Charity

2010-07-29T20:04:00.014+10:00

Greetings Dear Ramblers,

After a rather mediocre political discussion with my father, who seems to be of the opinion that "boat people" are criminals, I could not help but to put my thoughts into words. As this rather non-event policy issue seems to be soaking up more than its fair share of the limelight in this particular election lead-up, it seems topical to discuss it, and to dive beneath the superficial surface presented by our politicians and media outlets.

Firstly, let me start by defending my father's point of view. I see where he is coming from. As first generation voluntary immigrants to Australia, we were not escaping oppression. Instead, we were just wanting to start afresh in a country that provided so many more opportunities to live the lives of our hopes and dreams. We had to fight through a very difficult and lengthy process of some two years of paper-shuffling to finally be accepted into this country. My mother, father and I value the opportunities we have been given to make something of our lives in Australia.

It would only be natural to look askance at those "queue jumper" boat people. We had to tick so many boxes to be let into the country, so why should other people be allowed to waltz in just because they arrived by boat on our northern shores? It seems rather unfair. Criminal, in fact. These people are breaking national and international laws by arriving unasked at our borders.

Now, that's all well and good as an argument, and I feel the visceral undertow that the mass media and vapid politicians have tapped in to. However, it just doesn't cut it. I realise that there is a lot of complexity here - but first we must identify the real issues, and prune away all of the rhetoric and bullshit.

The whole "queue jumper" thing misses the point. The real point is this - we need to establish if the people arriving at our shores are genuine refugees or genuine free-loading queue jumpers. To label them all as queue jumpers is a gross over-simplification. So, I agree that we need to detain people arriving illegally at our borders, whilst we are determining whether they are genuine refugees or not.

However, the whole media and political spin has gone way beyond this. By default, we are labelling all of these people as criminal queue jumpers from the very outset. This sets a very negative vibe, and makes it so very easy for the xenophobes amongst us to score cheap political points (just look at the latest meandering bullshit spouted by that old-school race expert and White Australia throwback Philip Ruddock). It is hard for us to feel any of the ordinarily human emotions for these people, such as pity, empathy or solidarity, when they are drawn, caricature-like, in the media as criminals willing to throw their own children overboard.

Now, I don't want to fall into the trap of over-simplification myself. There are a few more angles to be explored before a proper understanding of this issue can be obtained. The role of people smugglers is a case in point. One way of looking at people smugglers is that they provide a lifeline for utterly abject and desperate people who have nowhere else to turn. Another way of looking at it is that people smugglers are criminals of the first order who profit from the misery of others. Both of these points of view are true.

The detainment and processing of asylum seekers is costly and time consuming. At current levels of approximately 2,500 boat people a year, we are at the limits of what our facilities can cope with. If 10,000 boat people arrived each year (or perhaps 40,000 as arrive by boat in Italy each year) we would quite likely have some major problems. The tyranny of distance has shielded Australia somewhat from the refugee problem - it is difficult to get all the way to Australia by boat.

The other issue of boat people is this - Australia currently caps its refugee intake at 13,750 people per year. The boat people are counted in this total, along with the people who have applied for refugee status through official channels. These official refugees are the lucky ones of a sad lot of humanity - people stuck in temporary refugee camps on non-hostile soil who have legal recourse to throw themselves at the mercy of international law. So, in this context, the boat people could be seen as queue jumpers.

The reality, as always, is much more complex than the rather 2-dimensional picture the media presents in their 2-minute grabs whilst we are eating our breakfasts, or the bile that the radio shock jocks spew at us through our car speakers as we drive to work. Here is my counter argument, presented as a rather simple what-if.

What if China invaded Autralia and made us all their bitches? Might makes right in this world, so we would be in no position to argue. Let's continue this hypothesis and say that the Chinese powers that be decide to impose strict martial rule, and dissenters are taken away and tortured and/or killed. You are a fine upstanding citizen - you used to pay your taxes, you used to do the right thing, only now you are in the wrong place at the wrong time. World events beyond your control have transformed your very existence. You and your wife and your children are exposed to lethal danger every single day. You have no authorities to appeal to, no guardian angels to pray to. There is no migration department where you go into a nice office, press a button to get your number, wait in a comfortable chair, and approach the window to state your case when your number is called. There are no refugee camps to which you can escape and live in squalor as your application for official refugee status is processed.

The only possible avenue of escape lies in you selling everything you own and have worked hard for, bribing some guards or officials, paying unscrupulous people smugglers with every cent that you have, and jumping on a boat to New Zealand.

However, when you get to New Zealand, they all call you a queue jumper and a criminal, detain you, prod you for a while, and then tell you to fuck off back to Australia. You are sent back to Australia, and you and your family are tortured and executed.

This is potentially what happens to genuine refugees. They don't have an office they can go to for migration to another country. They don't have any other option than to break the law in order to flee from oppression to save their lives and those of their loved ones. There is no queue to jump. There are no legal options at all for these people to escape oppression.

Of course there are ingenuine people who attempt to play the refugee angle and try to jump the queue, but we cannot just tar all boat people refugees with the same brush because of this. Each and every person who arrives unasked at our shores should be detained but treated charitably. Whilst they are detained, their application for asylum should be considered fairly, and the appropriate decision to return them or welcome them made. Immigration department figures show that, on average, 85-90% of boat people are genuine refugees.

Australia is a rich country. Our general levels of wealth are such that we can cope with a few thousand poor lost souls coming to our shores each year. Our current annual cap of 13,750 refugees represents about 0.06% of our population. Does our charity really only stretch so far? Anyone who thinks that this is an unacceptable burden on our population and infrastructure has got rocks in their head.

I can only say this - we should treat refugees in the same way that we would wish to be treated if we were refugees. Being a refugee is not a matter of choice. World events beyond your control could plunge you from a position of privilege and comfort (or poverty as your starting point for that matter) to one of mortal danger for you and your family.

Charity begins at home, and when people have lost their homes, they need that charity all the more. Do not harden your hearts, based on cynical political spin and populist media beat-ups. Do not blindly accept the messages of intolerance that the hate mongers in politics and the media dish up to you. Instead, deconstruct the issue, study the facts, apply emotion, intellect, compassion and logic, and make up your own minds.

And if you still come to the conclusion that all asylum seekers are criminals, I hope for your sake that you are never placed in the situation of being a refugee by events beyond your control. The only option left to you would be to accept your fate and, hand in hand with your loved ones, go quietly to the torture chambers.

Ahhh Election Time

2010-07-22T20:15:00.004+10:00

Hello Dear Rambling Masses,

It has been a long time since last I blogged. The reason for this is that I have been swept away by mediocrity. The way in which the fine country of Australia has been governed has been a very steady does it affair. It has also proved to me that no matter what side of the old left-right spectrum of the political divide in which you reside, the modern era does not actually allow for any differentiation. The old adage has now become same shit same shovel. Whether you are labor or liberal does not matter - they both ineffectually stumble towards the same beige washed-out populist policies.

We are living in a time where the possibilities are endless. General levels of wealth are so high in this country that supposedly "unpopular" but needed policies that address such things as environmental sustainability, energy independence, long-term planning of infrastructure in major population centres, and the very concept of what Australia should and could be, could be implemented with only a modicum of forward thinking and political bravery.

However, the two major political parties in this country continue to race each other to the bottom of the barrel, providing no clear alternatives. Instead of viable and well thought out alternative policies, the Liberals continue to founder in their state of "what the hey - how did we lose the last election? Oh, and what promises and scare campaigns can we employ to win the next one?" Labor continues to pander, ever more, to the unions, now that they have gotten rid of Rudd and put the Cath and Kim-esque Julia Gillard in power.

The problem is that, as has so often been the case in this country, there is no forward thinking. There are only policy decisions made as far as the next election. The next 3-4 years in office is the only goal. What this means is that Australia is sold short by the people who are meant to have her best interests as their prime concern. Instead, they pander to what their media trainers tell them is the best bet at winning the next election.

Take for example the current major election platform of boat people. My God, how is it possible that such a non-event could make it on to the public radar, much less be a major policy differentiator? There are, what, 1,000 - 2,000 people that arrive by boat every year. What effect does this really have on the masses?

That is the question I apply to any political policy, and so should you all. I realise that there is only so much pie, and it has to be sliced up in a certain way. So, in the cold harsh light of day, I realise that not everyone will get their wishes whenever policy decisions are made. There is not enough pie to go around to please absolutely everyone. So, things like health, education, defence, public transport and the like should get the lions share of the attention. Most of these areas have fallen into a sad state in the past 20 years or so, and desperately need some REAL leadership instead of just rhetoric to fix them.

So, I ask you, how many people are affected by boat people? I would suggest that about 1,500 - 2,000 people are affected - and these are people who are gainfully employed to look after the boat people currently detained - so that's a good thing, right? They have jobs. This means that this particular issue affects almost 0.01% of the population. Hello? What am I missing. This has been announced as a major election platform by both of the major political parties. So, let's just listen to the scare-mongering cliches from both sides of the political divide, and hope that the government we elect is the best at protecting us from the "hordes".

Why the hell don't they spend their time coming up with some genuine (and I admit difficult) solutions to the problems that affect 70-80, even 90 percent of the population, such as the shithouse medical facilities, dodgy education, crap public transport in major urban areas, energy concerns, unsustainable practices, environmental disasters, etc.?

Because, dear readers, they are modern politicians. Big on promises, but lacking in actual ideas or forward thinking. The problems are many. The solutions are well within our reach to accomplish. They do require a real government, and that is something we haven't had in a long time. I don't hold out much hope, because no matter who wins the next election, it will be same shit, same shovel.

Emissions Trading Scheme (Or How Not To Fix The Planet)

2009-12-01T19:13:00.022+11:00

Let me start this post by stating categorically that I am not a climate change sceptic. I believe full well that the human species has been able to harness the ability and power to affect their surroundings to such an extent that it has far-reaching consequences on a global scale. Add to this mix a voracious appetite, almost viral population growth, and the capacity to apply ingenuity, creativity and imagination to overcome obstacles, and I am left wondering how anyone could believe that our actions do not change the planet in a multitude of ways (many of them negative).

I believe we stand at a crossroads or, more accurately, at the lip of a giant precipice. There have been doomsayers throughout history, and all of them have been wrong (we're still here, aren't we?). Humanity has struggled through disaster, calamity and cataclysmic events, still managing to muddle through to our current position at the top of the food chain, masters of all that we survey.

The difference is that the current environmental disaster staring us in the face is the most fundamental and serious one of all. It all comes down to a very simple fact:

The planet Earth is a closed system.

There are several consequences to this, namely:

The amount of non-renewable resources at our disposal is finite. Once we pass the peak supply point (peak oil, peak coal, etc.) then, ceteris paribus, we are no longer able to grow at the same ridiculous rate as we did before the peak event.

It is a self-evident fact that peak resource events will result in a need for MAJOR changes in how we conduct our existence on this planet, if we are to avoid annihilation as we fight amongst ourselves for the scraps that are left, face famine, water shortages, etc.

Essentially, imagine the Earth as a very big pie. No matter how we slice it, you can't get more pie out of it.

Waste from the way we exploit the resources at our disposal (extraction, refinement, manufacturing, obsolescence, etc.) build up in the various ecosystems, eventually reaching the point where the self-regulating properties of the biosphere are no longer able to sustain life in the same manner, if at all.

There is no magic carpet that we can sweep the unbelievable amounts of pollution we produce under. One need only look at the sorry state of our rivers, our oceans and our air to see the mess we have made of the planet.

Action needs to be taken to set things right. It is not a hopeless situation. Humankind can apply their vaunted ingenuity, creativity, imagination, willpower and plain old hard work to set us all on the right path. The planetary biosphere is delightfully powerful at regulating itself, and with our help, much of the damage we have done can be repaired. But even a biosphere as big as planet Earth cannot continue to cope with the stresses we have put it under. We need to fix things now, not in 50 years, or 20, or even 10.

Having said that, I do not believe for one second that an ETS (Emissions Trading Scheme) will do anything to help reduce our ecological footprint.

The major problems with the ETS as I see it are as follows:

The ETS only addresses carbon emissions. Whilst this is a major contributor to climate change, it does not even begin to address the larger and much more important issue of general pollution.

The ETS will most likely rely on a grossly over-simplified categorisation of the sources of carbon emissions. Do we place a tax on every cow that farts? What about burning of sugar cane during harvesting? How do we propose to identify every carbon emission contributor during the incredibly complex processes of production and manufacture that underlie the fabric of our society?

Carbon emissions that are directly under the control of human beings make up a significant but not major percentage of the total carbon emission of the planet. We have no control over methane production of rotting vegetation in swamps, we cannot put a plug in volcanoes.

The ETS is a cap and trade scheme. That is, a national cap is placed on the amount of carbon emissions allowed. Greenhouse permits will be allocated, and can be traded by companies if they don't use up their quota. It won't take long for the big polluters (who incidentally are the richest) to step in and gobble up all the permits. This means that they will still be polluting just as much as ever (if not more, as they now have more permits), and the poorer industries and sectors will be left with too few permits to conduct their business. They will simply be priced out of the game. So, how will our already near-bankrupt state government be able to afford to put more and more money into buying expensive permits for the public transport sector? Public transport is just one example, but a very important one. There will most likely be cutbacks, leading to more cars on the roads, leading to more pollution, etc., etc., etc.

The ETS is a cap and trade scheme. Hello?? We will have a whole new stock exchange, fuelled by greed, funded by the public purse (i.e. yours and my taxes). Traders, brokers and agents will be skimming their fees and commissions off the top. The ETS market will be prone to the same boom and bust cycles of the regular stock exchanges.

How is it proposed to accurately measure the actual reduction of emissions? Will it rely purely on the word of the major emitters? This is hardly likely to be accurate. Will emission measuring equipment be installed in every factory, car, cow, etc.? Hardly. The technology isn't there, and even if it were, it would be prohibitively expensive, and prone to tampering by unscrupulous emitters. So essentially we have no clear way in which to measure the actual reduction of emissions, if any.

The cost of setting up and running a regulatory body to oversee the ETS (and to measure/enforce emissions) will be very expensive. There will undoubtedly be the usual baggage of red tape beaurocracy, blame shifting, political meddling, vested interests and lobbying by major polluters, leading to an ineffective system at best, and an actual increase in overall pollution at worst.

Emitters will choose the cheapest possible way of reducing their emissions (or reportable/measurable emissions) instead of being forced to adopt a much more efficient and long-sighted systemic change that will have a lasting impact on our ecological footprint. But then that would require the government of the day to have the balls to make some unpopular political decisions and actually make a difference, instead of this watered down tax-funded travesty of a system.

The hardest hit will be the poor and those living in rural areas. City dwellers and the well-off middle classes, who are very much the largest slice of the emission pie, will have nowhere near the same level of economic incentive to change their wasteful ways.

The ETS, if introduced, will have major and far-reaching consequences to our quality of life, with very little benefit to the environment. And yet, the average person on the street knows sweet dick all about what the ETS actually is, and what it will mean for us. It has been shrouded in secrecy by the politicians on all sides, and the media has focused more on the political turmoil than on actually informing the public about the facts (wow, how unusual). There should be a major education and information campaign about it. It should be brought out into the open, instead of being behind closed Senate doors, so that we can all debate the issue and form our own opinions. Dare I say that, living in a democracy as we do, we should put it to a referendum?

The whole emphasis of the current debate is on reducing emissions. This is doomed to fail, as it is an over-simplified view of things. What we should be focusing on is setting up carbon sinks to soak up the excess carbon. Plant more trees and other vegetation. This will have a much greater impact on the well-being of the natural processes and balance of the biosphere than any arbitrary tax or half-arsed emissions cap by 2020.

Another major benefit of this is that Australia, whilst not being a major emitter in the world scheme, has the potential to be a major carbon sink. We have just about the largest amount of open, unused space on the planet, ready to be greened. This would have flow-on benefits such as changing our weather patterns for the better, improving natural processes, processing and cleaning pollution, allowing for much greater productivity and fertility in our depleted soils, and would just about get rid of our salinity problems.

If you think this is pie in the sky stuff and that I've suddenly turned over a new, naive leaf, then think again. The greening of Australia is eminently achievable well within our lifetimes. It won't be easy, but it can be done.

Most of you will probably not have heard of a guy called Peter Andrews. He is an amazing Australian who has fought most of his life to achieve this very end. He has lost much in his struggles against government, entrenched farming ideas that our forefathers brought with them from Europe, and blinkered science-of-the-day thinking. His knowledge of land and water management is not just esoteric book-learning, but rather a lifetime's work in practicing what he preaches. With his Natural Sequence Farming techniques, he has rejuvenated areas that most had given up on. I urge you to either purchase his wonderful books Beyond The Brink and Back From The Brink (available from your local ABC Shop or all good book stores) or visit the Natural Sequence Farming website. It is an incredible eye-opener.

We would be able to create hundreds of thousands of new jobs, to tend the fields and forests. It wouldn't take much effort to re-skill all of those workers in the heavy polluter industries either.

Yet another flow-on advantage of this is that self-sustainable rural communities could be set up throughout the great wide spaces, away from the coasts. These communities would house the workers and families tending the new green areas. This would solve the wasteful trend of population concentration in urban centres, thus greatly reducing the stresses on the ailing infrastructure of our major cities. The people of Australia would be able to save tens, perhaps hundreds of billions of dollars on increasing infrastructure capacity, and instead spend it on setting up the rural communities.

Also, ask yourself this simple question: would you be happier living a life that is harming the planet or living a life that is healing it? Discontent would be replaced with pride in our actions. Australia would become Mother Earth's green lungs, and we would all be able to breathe easy in the knowledge that we were a major contributor to healing the planet. Now that's what I call progress.

So, what is stopping us? Let's get on with it, and forget all this rubbish about an ETS. The time to act is now, because it is almost too late. This is the single greatest threat we have ever faced, and if we do not act accordingly, we will not survive. Even more tragically, we will take a large portion of the blessed diversity of life on this planet with us. If we rely on our politicians to argue about a new tax and how to protect the big polluters, we will have missed our chance.

And thus I ask the two people who actually read this blog to stand up and be counted, because that's two better than yesterday. We don't just need free thinkers, but free doers. In my oh so small way, I am trying to reduce my ecological footprint, to stutter along the path to self sufficiency, to try to better understand this amazing planet for what it is - a wonder of creation (irrespective of one's religious beliefs or otherwise), and to attempt to place myself in what I believe is our rightful place in that creation - as custodians of all that we survey, instead of as consumers and destroyers of all that we survey.

It is time to shake ourselves out of our comfortable middle-class existence and make some concrete changes to the way we live. If we sit back and wait for the politicians and the "free market" to do something about it, then we deserve everything that's coming to us. Change starts in the mirror. Hey, what do you know? Michael Jackson got it right -

"I'm looking at the man in the mirror,
I'm asking him to change his ways,
No message could have been any clearer,
If you want to make the world a better place,
Take a look at yourself and then make a change."

Environmental As Anything

2009-07-28T19:34:00.006+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Long time no rant. Time to let off another salvo into the great abyss that is the Internet...

Gone are the days when the world saw free thinkers as mystics, seers, and the founts of wisdom. In the "modern" world, free thinking is discouraged. Half of the world is gripped by rampant capitalist consumerism, designed purely to keep that carrot well and truly on the stick in front of us, anaesthetising us, keeping us docile as we chase that ill-defined elusive happiness that the marketing moguls have sold us. The other half of the world is still struggling with oppressive government - the old-fashioned way of keeping free thinkers and libertines down.

But to my mind, the pervasiveness of capitalist materialism is a much greater evil, purely for the fact that it has slowly and subtly eroded our freedoms without so much as a whimper from all of us who have lost so much, and yet had the choice to say no to it all. Free choice and free will are still available to us, but the modern societal structures have developed to hide these self-evident facts. It is so obvious to anyone with the slightest shred of intelligence and free thought, and yet the vast majority of vapid humanity continues to give up some of the greatest gifts that man has got - free thought and a questing mind. And what do we get in return? A disposable destructive pseudo-society that isolates us, practically takes away our freedoms whilst espousing those very freedoms, and leaves us much the poorer as individuals and as a species. Truly not a great bargain. As they said in that great movie "The Usual Suspects" - "The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

We are so much more than we currently seem to be. All we have to do is remove the veil from our eyes and realise the simple truths. Why do you think the so-called primitive cultures are always so happy, despite struggling for survival each and every day? Because they have a clear understanding that they have full control of their lives. They make of their lives what they will. "Modern" men have filled their lives with so much unimportant trash that they have lost sight of the very things that make us human and alive.

Rampant consumption and an overly obsessive compulsion to continue growth beyond all reasonable bounds sounds very much like a virus, not an advanced species. The gears of the capitalist machine are finely tuned to keep us locked on the path. Goods are deliberately made of lower quality, to ensure that they break down rapidly and often. Goods are so cheap that it does not pay to repair them. Instead, throw them out and buy shiny new ones. Capitalism provides us with shiny toys to hide the emptiness and lack of true values that our modern lives have become. This serves to further lock us in to the vicious cycle of consumption that keeps us busy working and accepting of the current system without applying our questing minds, and without seeing how unsustainable the system is in the medium to long term.

As a conservative estimate, I would say that 80-90 percent of everything that mankind strives for and believes in in the modern age is all bullshit, pure and simple. Esoteric detritus that hides the real truths from the vapid masses. That is why "The Matrix" is one of my favourite movies of all time - packaged in a glossy and modern way, this movie and the messages it espouses are the bible of our times. The message is simple - most of what we believe to be important and real is actually crap, designed to keep us docile.

You need only look at the barometers of our times, television and the Internet, to see where this has headed. Television, and as a natural progression the Internet, is all-pervasive in the developed world. Further to this, it is filled with meaningless crap that masquerades as "entertainment" and "information", when what it is really doing is obfuscating the truth. Why do the vapid masses keep tuning in to reality television in such mind-numbingly constant numbers? Why does the news not inform? Why do current affairs shows not tackle the real issues? Why, when we have the single most powerful tool of mass dissemination of knowledge, does the Internet continue to be used primarily for porn, email spam and the latest YouTube phenomenon of someone doing something stupid? Why do politicians continue to fiddle whilst Rome burns?

I guess it's because education has failed us. Instead of improving each generation, it seems that we have either gone backwards or stayed in an alarming and horrible holding pattern. How are we better, more intelligent, than the same apes 10,000 years ago that looked up at the heavens and shouted "Ugghhh"? Well, from where I am sitting, I can't see that we have advanced very much at all. As far as I am concerned, this is just a continual pattern of "same shit, different shovel". Hell, a lot of the time these days, even the shovel is the same.

Getting back to capitalism as one of the main thrusts of my current rant - economic theorists have often espoused the great advantages of capitalism as an efficient machine, always improving itself in a "competitive" environment, always advancing. Those capitalist entities that are inefficient simply die or are swallowed by larger, more efficient entities. However, what has been forgotten are the simple ethical and philosophical elements of this. The question that should be asked is not "how efficient is capitalism" but rather "what kind of efficiency is it?" The answer to this is an alarming one. Capitalism is efficient at one thing and one thing only - making money for the holders of capital. This one true goal of capitalism is to be attained at any cost. Human life, sustainability, the environment, real efficiency, thought, ethics, progress, advancement of ideals and ideas, beauty and soul are all up for grabs, to be trampled on in the great rush to achieve ever higher profits.

Don't get me wrong - I see money as a necessary evil, and would not wish to see it abolished, as it would not serve the interests of the world. Money is a useful, albeit grossly oversimplified, measure of relative value and worth. Without it, we would be living in a confusing world where bartering of goods and services struggles with the eternal question of trying to come to terms with how much "X" will be needed to barter for "Y", assuming that the owner of "Y" actually wants "X". Much effort would be wasted in this difficult and complex process of agreeing on the relative value of disparate goods and services.

As much as I rail against money and capitalism, these are not my main enemy. The great evil is the rampant consumerism and materialism that we have been slowly led to accept as the norm ever since the 1950s, despite the obvious fact that it is totally unsustainable in the medium to long term. Our excesses have been growing ever grander as each generation strives for more of everything.

One way for everyone to mitigate the rampant consumerism that is destroying our world and enslaving us all is to make a very simple shift in our thought patterns. The problem is that money is such an abstract term, and easily allows us to make assumptions and value judgements without truly understanding the consequences. I don't measure value in terms of money - I never have. Instead, I measure it against the one true human currency - time. The one thing of value on the face of this earth that each of us has is time - time to live, time to choose our path throughout our lives, and time to die. So this is the measure of value that I use.

If I look at something to buy, I ask myself whether I actually need it or not. If I don't need it, I ask myself whether I actually want it. If I need it or want it, I then ask myself how much time I would be giving up in order to purchase it. This takes into account what I am currently earning, what my disposable income is, and how long it has taken to amass that disposable income. If it takes me two weeks to earn the money to buy something, it better be worth two weeks of my life that I will never get back, otherwise the purchase is not being made.

In this way, serious judgements can be made on whether I choose to contribute to the capitalist machine or not. More often than not, I end up on the frugal side, choosing not to purchase something. One of my life's goals is not to amass a whole bunch of stuff to fill my supposedly empty life with. Instead, I work when I have to in order to gain the relative financial freedom to choose not to work as a slave to the capitalist machine.

At this point you may be saying to yourself "Who does this guy think he is, ranting about capitalism and yet at the same time enjoying the plethora of great things that have come from it? The mechanisms of capitalism have lifted his life from one of pure subsistence and survival to one of incredible luxury, undreamed of by previous generations." That may well be true, but I strongly feel that what we and the planet have lost and are currently losing is much greater than any gains that have been made.

Now we get to the crux of what I want to try to communicate in this particular posting to the two people who actually bother to read my blog. Capitalism/consumerism was the introduction, the shoehorn that got the foot into the shoe. Now, let's use those shoes to walk just a little further.

The current environmental crisis facing the world, brought on by our rampant consumption, is the real modern battlefield for free thought. Mankind has always seen itself as natural inheritors and owners of all that they survey, ever since that good old opposable thumb lifted us to the top of the food chain. The moment that the first of our distant ancestors picked up a stick and used it as a tool, our fate was sealed. We were destined to become the dominant species on the planet, outcompeting all others. The old adage of "might makes right" holds sway here. We have the power to control all around us, and we therefore assume that we have a right to wield that power indiscriminately, much to the detriment of all life on this planet.

Many wise people have said that there are no rights without responsibility. As the dominant species on the planet, we have a right to all that this entails. However, we also have a responsibility to make sure that we do not destroy it all in short-sighted pursuit of selfish ends.

Environmentalism isn't just about saving a few trees or stopping the giant panda from dying. It isn't just about making sure the paper goes in the recycling bin. It is so much broader than that. But like everything that the mass media gets a hold of, it has to be dumbed down and packaged into neat little bundles, so the "common" people can understand it. What a crock. Environmentalism should be, pure and simple, the struggle of mankind to find their true balance in this world. We have to get over the obsessive view that we own everything from here to the horizon, that the land and sea and everything on it and in it is ours to do with as we please. We have to move past the mistaken belief that nothing has value unless it can be dug up from the ground, cut down, mashed, pulped, killed, processed and packaged to serve our every whim.

The warnings are out there in the public domain, and the science is mostly rock solid, and still the governments of the world continue to drag their feet. Why is this? Because the existing monied powers hold the cards. They decide what policy gets passed, and even what policy gets debated. They dilute the facts and derail the discussions about what should be done by casting aspersions on the validity of the science, and by arguing against what the self-evident facts are telling us. They control the mass media, and the resulting information that should be presented to all of us as a matter of course is only available to the free thinkers who actually bother to open their eyes and ask some questions.

What does it matter that there are disputed claims regarding what one group of (in my view legitimate) scientists are saying about carbon emissions versus what another group (funded by big business) are saying? This is yet another attempt at a smoke screen to hide the fact that the world is going to hell in a hand basket, and we as a species and individually are responsible. On the one hand we have the vast majority of the scientific community and free thinkers of the world, saying that we are destroying the planet with our actions. On the other hand we have a tiny minority of nay-sayers who are in the pockets of the main polluters and exploiters of resources on the planet, arguing and stalling for all they are worth. The scary thing is that the mass media, by paying equal attention to both camps, is presenting a vastly distorted picture of what the truth really is.

Who in their right mind can sit there with their hand on their heart and say that pollution, deforestation, mass species extinctions, loss of biodiversity, etc, etc, are in our best interests? The monied powers can, of course. They have a vested interest in maintaining the status quo, because it's an oh so wonderful and comfortable existence for them. They remain unchallenged in their power only so long as the system keeps everyone repressed. And we stay repressed only so long as we continue to swallow the crap that is getting spoon fed to us each and every day.

The bastards who call the shots are doing so because it makes them rich, and continues to keep them in power. They have no regard for the future, certainly not past their comfortable lifespan. What they care about is wringing every last bit of profit out of the resources at their disposal, and never mind the consequence. This stems from the aforementioned human belief that we have the right to use and abuse everything, just because we can.

A fundamental shift in thinking needs to happen for us to save the planet and ourselves. This isn't bombastic hyperbole - it is the simple truth. To think that we are above and beyond the natural cycles that hold sway on this planet is the ultimate in arrogance and ignorance. If we keep going too much longer on our destructive path, there will be no second chances, no get out of jail free card, no pleading ignorance. We will die, and take a significant portion of the biodiversity of this planet with us.

The fundamental shift in thinking that I mention is not one that will come easily, but it has to come nonetheless. It does not just affect the rich and the mighty. For it to truly work, it has to be accepted by everyone - yes, that's right - every single human being on the planet. Every person that contributes to the capitalist consumerist machine without regard for the planet and our place in it is responsible. We have to make this radical shift to survive, and hopefully save as many species of the overstretched and over-utilised planet as we possibly can.

I for one will be watching with keen interest just how much actual progress we have made in our thinking as a species. This progress will be measured in earnest at the global climate conference in Copenhagen coming up towards the end of this year (6 - 18 December 2009). I really hope I am wrong, but I don't hold out much hope for any actual decisions being made. I would even be surprised if any vague, watered-down aspirational targets were limply aimed at. The political will is just not there, big business holds most if not all of the cards, and we, the masses of humanity, continue to fill our lives with insignificance instead of striving to fulfil our destiny on this planet.

If God or Gaia or whatever ultimate entity you believe in walked up to me today and gave me the power to say yay or nay to the human race, I swear that I would need more than 10 seconds of think music to decide whether it was worth it. Would I decide to end it all and say "fuck it, give some other species on the planet a chance - they surely can't fuck it up any more than we did", or would I decide that we have a genuine chance to change things for the better and assume our natural role as caretakers of this planet? That question remains unanswered...

Given the regenerative power of the planet, I feel confident in the fact that it would recover from our influence in 100-200 years. Everything that we strived for; everything that we believed in; everything that we killed, sacrificed and died for would be washed away in a sea of green and blue, and most likely the planet would be much better off. And what would be lost? Just another species that got too big for its boots.

Ohh, gotta go. Big Brother, Pop Idol and Survivor are on. Wouldn't want to miss them...

One Rule For Some, Another For Everyone Else

2009-03-24T22:34:00.003+11:00

Greets Ramblers,

Time for a bit of a rant - too much of this positive stuff recently...

How is it that a druggo like Ben Cousins (or whatever the hell his name is) can be handed the world on a platter? Not only does he get his football career back, but he gets a weekly radio spot, lots of media attention, and I am sure that he will get a bunch of endorsements as he continues his rise and rise.

I am all for giving a person a second chance after a mistake, but isn't this just a little bit over the top? Anyone working a real job (instead of being one of those semi-deified sports stars or musicians) would be well and truly buggered if they got busted abusing drugs. There would be huge obstacles in the climb back from the big fall, not least of which would be a criminal record and a low chance of ever getting a job again.

Erm, am I missing something? If you are a person in the public eye, you get a huge amount of exposure, usually followed by a ridiculous amount of money being thrown at you by all and sundry. The flip side of this coin is that your personal life is open game to the media whores that wait at your door to see what you are putting in your rubbish, and the expectation that, being in the public eye, you will stand as a positive influence to others.

As far as I am concerned, anyone who decides to follow a career that thrusts them into the spotlight should be well aware of the consequences, so there are no excuses when they abuse their rights. I'm an old fashioned kind of guy - I believe that life is all about rights and responsibilities. You pay for your rights with your responsibilities. There's a certain kind of universal balance about the whole thing that appeals to me, and it is one of the cornerstones of my value system in life.

I don't see that kind of balance in the current situation with this particular miscreant. Then again, I don't really care, because I am indifferent to the bullshit that passes for modern media. I only wish that we didn't waste so much time, effort and money on a loser. Why not lavish our attention on someone who is really deserving, like a pillar of the community who helps others? There are plenty of them out there. They just don't make it into the headlines.

Till next time, oh ramblers. The next post will be a positive one... I promise...

A Punny Post

2009-03-12T08:27:00.003+11:00

Hi Ramblers,

Just a language warning for the following - if you are easily offended, then you might want to skip this one...

Now I like puns as much as the next person. Actually, that's not true. I like puns a lot. One of the places where you find lots of puns is in titles of pornographic material. Popular movie titles are given the pun treatment, and my favourites (easily found using trusty old Google) are listed below for your perusal. Some of them crack me up. My favourite would have to be "What's Eating Gilbert's Grapes?".

20,000 Legs Under The Sea
28 Gays Later
A Few Hard Men
A Fistful Of Penis
A Lad In
A Rear And Pleasant Danger
All Hands On Dick
Ally McFeel
An Officer And A Genitalman
Ass Ventura: Crack Detective
Assablanca
Ball The President's Men
Ben-Hur Over
Benny In June
Beverly Hills 9021-Ho!
Bi-Curious George
Big Trouble In Little Vagina
Black Cock Down
Boldfinger
Bone Alone
Bridget Jones' Hairy
Bruce Allmeaty
Buffy The Vampire Layer
Butch Lesbian And The Lapdance Kid
Charlie's Anals
Cockodile Dun-me
Cool Bummings
Crimson Ride
Cum and Cummer
Dial M For Missionary
Diddle-her On The Roof
Doctor Do Me A Little
Doing John Malkovich
Driving It Into Ms. Daisy
Driving Miss Daisy (Into The Headboard)
Dun-Hur
E-3: The Extra Testicle
Edward Penishands
Ejacula
Emission Possible
Everybody Does Raymond
Fill Bill
Flesh Gordon
Forrest Hump
Get Smut
Ghostlusters
Glad-he-ate-her
Good Will Humping
Guess Who Came At Dinner
Hairy Potter Made The Philosopher Moan
Harry Did Sally
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
Hung Wankenstein
I Cream On Jeannie
Inrearendence Day
In Diana Jones
Inspect-Her-Gadget
Intercourse With A Vampire
Jurassic Pork
King Dong
Lap Dances With Wolves
Lawrence Of A Labia
Legs Wide Open
Lust Of The Mohicans
Malcolm XXX
Mating For Guffman
Meat The Parents
Monty's Python And The Holey Girl
Moulin Splooge
Murphy's Brown
My Big Fat Greek Cock
Night Of The Giving Head
Oklahomo!
On Golden Blonde
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Breast
Phallus In Wonderland
Picnic At Hanging Cock
Playmate Of The Apes
Pocahotass
Pornochio
Position Impossible
Pulp Friction
Queer And Present Danger
Rambone
Rebel Without A Condom
Remember The Tightuns'
Romancing The Bone
Romeo In Juliet
Saturday Night Beaver
Schindler's Fist
Scrotal Recall
Sgt. Pecker's Lonely Hearts Club Gangbang
Shake My Spear, I'm In Love
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Sheepless In Montana
Sleeping With Seattle
Snow White And The Seven Inches
Sorest Rump
Star Whores
Star Whores: Return Of The One-Eye
Star Whores: The Empire Licks Back
Swallow Hal
Tailiens
The Bare Bitch Project
The Cum Of All Queers
The Dirty Dozen Inches
The Empire Strokes Black
The Genital's Daughter
The Great Muppet Raper
The Horny-Mooners
The Humpback Of Nasty Dames
The Hung And The Breastless
The Hunt For Head-all-over
The Hunt For Miss October
The Iron Giant Vibrator
The Joy Suck Club
The Loin King
The Long Ranger
The Lord Of The G-Strings - The Femaleship Of The String
The Maddam's Family
The Nads-u-ate
The Object Of My Erection
The Ozporns
The Pink Mile
The Porn Ultimatum
The Reproducers
The Rodfather
The Screwman Show
The Sixth Inch
The Slutty Professor
The Sopornos
The Sperminator
The Talented Mr. Lickme
The Touchables
There's Something In And Out Of Mary
Thighs Wide Slut
Three Men And Some Gravy
Three Men On A Lady
Titty Slickers
To Drill A Mockingbird
Touched By An Uncle
Wetness For The Prosecution
What's Eating Gilbert's Grapes?
When Harry Wet Sally
White Men Can't Hump
Who Reamed Roger Rabbit?
Womb Raider
Women In Black
Yank My Doodle, It's A Dandy
You've Got Tail

Until next time, oh ramblers - stay sane and don't forget to smile at a stranger every now and then.

A New Leaf?

2009-02-24T21:36:00.002+11:00

Hello Ramblers,

After a discussion on the weekend with my good friend Mong, I kind of got to thinking about something I've been meaning to do for quite a while - start getting positive. Let's face it, it is eminently easy to see the glass as half empty and to blame the man for shortchanging you. Whilst I do get a certain amount of cathartic release from venting my spleen, I am sure that it's not great reading for the 1.5 people that visit my site every week (on average).

With that in mind, I hold my hand on my heart, feeling the gentle palpitations, and promise that from now on, there will be at least a 50-50 balance of positive and negative, erring on the positive side. Don't ask me to totally give up my ranting, because there's always gonna be some poison to get rid of...

Speaking of positive - one of my favourite jokes follows:

The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The optimist sees the glass as half full. The engineer sees the glass as being twice as big as it needs to be.

I don't know about you, but I am filled with mirth at that one. The warm glow of genuine humour suffuses my body.

Anyhoo, on to a lovely warm and fuzzy happy post, without any hint of irony or negative vibe. Recently on the teev, I caught a program that left me breathless and inspired me hugely. It's called "What About Me?" - 1 Giant Leap. Let me try in my inept rambling way to describe what is a true wonder...

Firstly, you can check it out on the official website, for they say it better than I ever could. The URL is:

http://www.whataboutme.tv/#about

This is a multimedia extravaganza par excellence, as two dudes with music in their veins and questing souls travel across the globe in search of the diversity that makes the human race a true wonder. It is this diversity that fills me with hope, pride and joy. Showcased wonderfully in the television show, forthcoming DVD and soundtrack CD(s), these guys lay down a basic beat track, and get all manner of indigenous populations to add their own particular slant on a truly universal musical project. Along the way, they seek out great thinkers, philosophers and people who have truly lived, and each episode of the television series tackles a new and interesting verity of human existence.

I am tickled pink that this show exists, and look forward to purchasing all of the creative output that results from this wonderful project. I would humbly urge you all (all 1.5 of you) to check out the website and perhaps see for yourselves if this is the kind of thing that rocks your boat. One of the most amazing things about the human race is diversity, and this project showcases it to great effect.

As the great Molly Meldrum says - do yourselves a favour.

Catch you on the flip side, ramblers.

A Maths Lesson (And The Human Cost)

2009-02-10T08:46:00.003+11:00

Hello Ramblers,

Long time no post. This is my first rant for the year, and a rather topical one. Australia is currently reeling at the terrible tragedy in Victoria, with bushfires killing hundreds and turning townships to ash. While I do not wish to trespass on the misery of the people affected, I would like to make a crucial point. Bear with me as I set the scene for this one...

Having recently changed political direction with a new government in power, our esteemed political leaders have once again proved the old adage "same shit different shovel" very much true. We continue to drag our feet in our attempts to recreate our society into an environmentally sustainable entity.

Maths seems to be the constant defence for our unwillingness to make some hard decisions and usher in a new era wherein we can pass the future to our children with pride. It would be too expensive to invest in alternative energy. Too many jobs will be lost if we scale down the coal and timber logging industries. After 11 years of sunshine in which the previous government did nothing but waste opportunities and piss on the hay, the world has tumbled into an inevitable financial meltdown. Now the purse strings have been tightened (except for the occasional misguided attempt to pump prime our wasteful comsumption, as if that is going to save us). The chances of some genuine investment in the future are looking pretty low.

Climate change, a much discussed issue that has been greatly misrepresented over the years by the fluffy irrelevant mass media that purports to disseminate knowledge and information to the masses, is finally starting to flex its muscle in ways that can neither be denied nor ignored.

So, if simple mathematics of financial cost are applied by our leaders to deny the change to sustainable practices in our continued rape and pillage of the world, why doesn't the cost of disasters like the bushfires in Victoria and the floods in Queensland get factored in? This would more than even the equation, tipping the need for sustainable practices and fundamental change in the way that we live on this planet well into the lead. The cost in human suffering puts the issue well beyond doubt.

But no, there's a simpler answer. Just go out and spend your $950 on Chinese consumer products that you don't need. Go about your lives. Move along. Nothing to see. Everything is fine. Ruddy marvelous!

Ho Cubed

2008-12-24T00:31:00.003+11:00

Greetings Oh Ramblers,

Let me just take this moment in time to wish you all a Merry Christmas. Don't get me wrong - I am not particularly taken with the whole Jeebus thing, nor am I taken with the whole Santa/Satan capitalist thing, but this is indeed a special time of year to be cherished and raised on a pedestal.

Christmas is the one thing that I have never gotten used to in Australia. I am originally from Denmark, so my idea of Christmas is freezing cold, fireplaces, roast duck and pork, mulled wine, real pine trees, communal bowls of nuts with the cracker always nearby, clementines (a type of mandarine) and snow all around.

35 degrees, prawns on the BBQ, cold salads and beers in the sun just don't seem to capture the spirit of my childhood Christmases.

Having said all that, I must admit to a certain fondness for this time of year. It is a time to get together with family, to eat fine food, to quaff fine wine, and it provides an important bookend to our lives, since we love to compartmentalise and label everything. Christmas and New Year for me, as it is for a lot of people, is a time to reflect on the year that has been and the year that is yet to come. It is a time of delight and of promise.

One of the most important things in life is to gauge where you are, for without personal progress we are just meat robots and oxygen thieves. By relfecting on where you were and where you are, you can exercise the amazing gifts of free will and intellect, and work on the most important job that you will ever have in life - that of personal improvement.

None of us are perfect. I am a particularly flawed individual who needs to do a lot of work to head towards the ideal that I have in my mind's eye. The only way that I can improve myself is to evaluate where I am, and to continue along the path that I have set for myself. Christmas and New Year provides me with the ideal controlled environment to (dare I say it?) scientifically evaluate how I have progressed (or regressed).

As the one or two idle readers of my blog, you may think that I have spent the last year at the edge of despair, ready to jump off the precipice, screaming as I embrace oblivion. However, this is very far from the truth. I am indeed eminently happy. Some of you may have guessed that this blog is just a pressure valve for me to vent my nasty thoughts, in order to stop them from taking over my life. By writing them down, I exorcise them and am free. Very cathartic.

So, take my word for it (as I listen to Mr. T selling his Flavour Wave (and his soul) on late night commercial television in the background) I am trying very hard to ignore the capitalism side of Christmas and see instead the real beauty of a time of togetherness with family and friends.

And, guess what? I am succeeding...

Happy happy joy joy, oh ramblers...

Letter Wars, Or How I Will Be Beaten To Death By A Veteran's Walking Stick

2008-10-31T08:14:00.002+11:00

Greets to you oh Rambling Masses,

It is with a bitter but defiant smirk that I write this post. A number of weeks ago, I took the plunge and wrote in to the letters column of our local community newspaper, The Bush Telegraph. The week before I wrote in, a letter had gotten under my skin, and I just couldn't resist the urge to respond, and to stir the pot a little.

The letter in question was a typical old man rant about the youth of today not treating the Australian flag with the respect that it MUST be treated with. I suggested that the flag and the nationalistic tendencies that go with it are an irrelevance, and we should move past this to a spirit of worldwide cooperation.

Well, the pot most definitely got stirred, and a veritable avalanche of bitter old man letters threatened to bury your favourite Rambling Ranter. In fact, I now fear that if I mention my name in public, a group of old men will come up to me and beat me to death with their walking sticks.

Such a touchy subject, nationalistic pride. I don't have much time for it myself, because I believe, as I wrote in my letters, that we are one people on one planet under one sun, but that high ideal doesn't amount to a hill of beans when a veteran's blood is up. They keep dragging it back to the whole "we fought in the war for people like you to have the freedom to write rubbish like that" instead of opening their minds to the fact that we need to move on.

What I am trying to get through to these people is a wonderful concept. You may have heard of it. It's called Evolution. It doesn't just happen on the Galapagos Islands and in the textbooks of Charles Darwin, and is more than just the process of change on the genetic level in response to survival pressures.

The Evolution I'm talking about is one of the human spirit, intellect and ethics. Being a somewhat keen though pedestrian student of history, I can't see that we have evolved terribly much as a species on these fronts in the past 4000 years or so. I feel that we have an obligation to ourselves and our progeny to develop beyond the petty, warmongering resource wasters that we are, to step up to the plate and take on the role of protectors and nurturers of this great planet.

Through mundane physical evolution, we have become the dominant species. We have it within us to be so much more than we currently are, if only we would step beyond such irrelevant concepts as nationalism and vested interests. I don't, however, hold out much hope if the letters that I have reproduced below are anything to go by.

Having said that, I received a phone call from Commander Whitmore after I sent him a hand-written copy of my response to him (my second letter to The Bush Tele), and we talked for over an hour and a half, finding that we have much in common, and see the world in a very similar light. I take that as the warning it should be - we cannot always read a book by its cover, and I am humbled by it.

I am still keeping a watchful eye out for a swinging walking stick, though.

The letters are reproduced below, starting with the one that set the whole ball rolling:

Dear Bush Tele

It is disgusting to observe the gross disrespect for the dignity of the Australian National Flag, which is indulged by so many supposedly patriotic people.

A flagrant example of this abuse was depicted on the front cover of the Bush Tele, 11 September 2008, showing people who should know better using the flag as a table cover. Flag protocol, expressly forbids the use of our flag as a table cover.

Flag protocol does not include wrapping it around the shoulders of some sweaty, smelly athlete who may or may not have been successful. Nor should it form a wrap for some ignorant participant in a patriotic ceremony or venue. It does not improve the image of the subject and indeed, insults the dignity with which the flag must be treated.

Roy Mellier

Dear Bush Tele,

To Roy Mellier:

This is regarding your recent letter published in TBTW, wherein you expressed your extreme disgust at gross disrespect of the Australian National Flag.

I understand your comments (but am unable to sympathise with them), and I would like to counter your feelings with a few of my own.

Firstly, I cannot help but to feel uncomfortable to the core of my being whenever rampant nationalism rears its head. I am no less Australian than the next citizen, but I don’t believe that this antiquated belief in the sanctity of a piece of cloth gets us anywhere.

For a start, I believe that we are one people on one planet under one sun, and all of this "patriotic" flag waving does nothing but exacerbate tensions that should never exist in the first place. We should be focusing on breaking down nationalistic barriers, not strengthening the walls that currently exist.

I don’t know if you are perhaps one of the many who risked their lives "fighting for the flag" in one of our many wars, and have resultant strong feelings about it, but it should make no difference whatsoever. It is and remains a piece of cloth and an ideal that, in my humble opinion, is outdated, irrelevant and antagonistic. Frankly, it is an anachronism and an irrelevance that we should not waste our time on.

How can you speak of dignity toward the flag when we are living in a society that still struggles valiantly with the very concept of universal dignity for such marginalised members of the community as the aged, the infirm, the mentally disabled, and any who are different from the norm? In my opinion, the flag is a piece of cloth, vastly inferior to the integrity and value of the human race in all of its manifestations across the globe, no matter what colour of cloth you wave in accordance with flag protocol.

Peter Walder, A proud flag un-waver

Dear Bush Tele,

Yes Walder (German for Wood), I am one of the aged, somewhat infirm, perhaps mentally disabled and certainly very different from the norm, if you represent the norm.

As well as being all the above, I am also one of those who in two wars and nearly 40 years in the Navy as you put it, "risked their lives fighting for the flag", that piece of cloth described by you as an anachronism, an irrelevance and a waste of time.

That piece of cloth was not the item for which we were fighting, but it was the uniting symbol of our purpose. What we were fighting for was the freedom for the likes of you to live a good life in this country and several others that were involved, and yet for you to still have the freedom to write the nonsense you penned in your letter to The Bush Tele Letters.

In one of the wars had our opponents had their way, you would not have had that freedom. Had you tried you would have ended up in the ovens, or dead from exhaustion and starvation furthering one of the victors’ causes, as did many of those who were also fighting for the likes of you.

Remember Walder the old saying, "It is far better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and dispel all doubt".

Edward Ronald Whitmore, Wahroonga

Dear Bush Tele,

I would like to comment on Peter Walder’s letter in TBTW in regards to his reply to Roy Mellier’s letter.

There is in fact an Act of Federal Parliament called the Australian Flag Act; look this up on the net if you are interested.

A piece of cloth you said.

Cop the tip mate; any man or woman who serves this country is a hero and when you are fighting for yours and your team’s life we do think of the Flag and how to best serve this OUR AUSTRALIA.

Have you had to kill the enemy or expect to give up your life?

Maybe you have.

There is no more dedicated Pacifist than an ex Service Woman or Man.

Your words Sir are an insult to those we have buried and the Australian Flag that is draped over their Coffin.

Roy is expressing his opinion as do you, the reason being that at least he fought for freedom to express your opinion.

The Flag shall NEVER touch the ground.

Go for it Roy.

Roger Okell, Berowra

Dear Bush Tele

Peter Walder, thank you for your long criticism of my reflections on abuse of our national symbol, the flag.

Your use of extravagant and occasionally malapropos phraseology does not disguise much of the waffle therein.

Whether or no, I served my King or Queen and country during time of war, does not influence my conviction that without dignity and respect, life would be untenable.

Maintaining one’s own dignity and striving to be worthy of the respect of others, along with recognising these attributes in other people and ideals, remains paramount to the continuance of an ordered and pleasant society.

The tenor of your letter provides me with little hope that a perusal of Sir Walter Scott’s famous work, "The Patriot" might create a less negative attitude in you. Perhaps though, its profundity may penetrate.

Roy Mellier, Cheero Point

My Dear Mr Whitmore,

I won't lower myself and start calling your personal quality of character into question as you did mine. I happen to believe that people can have differences of opinion without thinking their partners in open discussion are somehow deficient in wisdom or wit.

I am fully aware of the symbolic nature of the flag, and it was the concept of the symbol that I called into question through my postulation of the irrelevance of the flag. I still happen to think that, despite the very rare aberration represented by history's truly terrible dictators, wars are generally fuelled by nationalistic concerns. I further posit that mankind is facing mighty obstacles on this planet, with dwindling resources and growing population, that will see these arbitrary nationalistic barriers usher in a new age of sabre rattling.

Mr Whitmore, you obviously feel very strongly about these matters, which goes some way towards excusing your attacks on my personal character and your uncivil tongue. I would humbly remind you that discussion and differences of opinion are healthy in a free and functional society, and thank you for your timely reminder that sometimes great evils must be met by force and sacrifice in order to protect our precious freedoms.

In my rather naive way, however, I like to think that universal cooperation is far preferential to strengthening of nationalistic spirit. Who can deny that few of the world's flags can list an unsullied record of noble acts without at least a few drops of blood soaking through the cloth? I stand by my original high ideal that we are one people on one planet under one sun, and that nationalism should be abandoned in favour of, for want of a better word, "universalism".

I regret that your emotion has closed your mind to a genuine and valid difference of opinion. It was not my intent to cast aspersions on the sacrifices of those who fought for our freedoms. I know full well what was lost and what was gained. If this is simply a case of misunderstanding, then rest assured that I am grateful for your comments, and they have served to enhance my understanding.

If not the result of a simple misunderstanding and you honestly consider me a fool, then I can only say that is your right, and it saddens me. However, it does not change the opinions that my own reason, defective or otherwise, has led me to hold dear. On my part, I respectfully agree to disagree.

Regards to all of my fellow society members, with all of our delightful and stimulating differences of opinion,

Peter Walder
Proud to be foolish at times

Capitalism And A Simple Petri Dish

2008-10-23T16:51:00.007+11:00

Hello Oh Ramblers,

Here's hoping that the current worldwide financial crisis will be ever so much worse than everyone fears. I have a dream - I hope to see all of the fat pig executives, those uber-greedy tools of the monied powers, open up the windows of their top-floor offices and take a great big dive into thin air, raining down on the streets below.

Hopefully this rain will wash away an evil that has hypnotised three generations of people who have been living way beyond their means without regard for their fellow humans or the planet on which we all live.

I can't believe that people are surprised at the current state of affairs. It is merely the natural conclusion of capitalism left to grow and abuse resources unchecked. The grand, sweeping towers and monuments of capitalism are built on foundations of greed and an unwavering aim to become the biggest, the strongest, the greatest, irrespective of the physical and ethical boundaries in its way.

It always amazes me that people complain about monopolistic behaviour in capitalism. Isn't that the natural end game? Eventually, one big corporation will swallow up everything else, in a grand parody of Darwinian evolution. The most efficient and ruthless player will best all of their competitors on the economic field of battle, and will then be free to unleash their insatiable thirst for greater profits on the ragdoll bodies left strewn on the battlefield.

This very thing has been happening with China for years now. Seen as a poster child for economic success, everyone points to China and says what a great success they are. I've been there. It's smelly, polluted and disaffected, with a billion people ready to spend up big as soon as they realise the capitalist dream that we've all been chasing for the past hundred years or so. Just what the planet needs - at a rate of about one coal-fired power plant per week.

As China has become the dominant production force that feeds the insatiable hunger of the consuming nations, they have paid a heavy toll indeed. Pollution is only one small part of it. The rest of the world has been only too happy to abrogate responsibility - let's face it, we get all this neat stuff from China, and don't get to see how much damage it's doing to our planet, because their backyard is suitably far away, locked behind the Great Wall and too many rabbits.

Before this fine economic meltdown came along, my greatest fear was that, once China had strangled every country's manufacturing industries by out-competing them, they would be able to control the world markets and name their price. After all, it is the end game of capitalism - best your competition to control the market.

My fear now is that we will not learn our lessons. Capitalism will continue to be the ruling power on our planet, and the really tough issues, like pollution, resource depletion, species extinction, chronic overpopulation and declining quality of life, will continue to remain unaddressed.

The current response by the ruling governments of the world is to encourage their fine people to spend their way out of the looming recessions. The undeniable equation is this - we have too many people on this planet, and many of them are living way beyond any reasonable or sustainable means. Continual growth is what has kept the fallacy of capitalism going way past its use by date. Continual growth will not solve the problem. Continual growth is the problem.

Just look at a simple petri dish in a laboratory. The dish has a finite food source and a bacterial culture. Simplicity itself, and a wonderful scientific construct that acts as more than just a simple metaphor for our planet and our current situation. The bacteria will thrive, experiencing exponential growth. Times are great, and the bacteria are throwing expensive parties left, right and center. Wow! This growth is great! We will keep growing forever. Go bacteria!

Then the bacteria run out of food and all of them die. Duh! Go figure. Now that's hardly rocket science.

So, go out and spend, oh rambling masses, like good capitalist puppets. Everything will be fine. Mankind will find a way to satisfy insatiable greed with finite resources. It can't be that hard to transcend immutable laws of nature, right?

Give Me Strength

2008-10-21T17:40:00.005+11:00

Hello Ramblers,

As the title suggest, this is a desperate attempt to gain strength from any quarter possible.

Give me strength to fight the ever-present pervasive forces of capitalism as they continually sap my energy with their soul-destroying in-your-face injections of poison. Every time I see an advert, whether on the idiot tube, in the ongoing bombardment of what used to be good trees but is now glossy mass media advertising in my mailbox, or the annoyance of advertising on the internet or radio, a little piece of my soul is transformed to pure rage instead of the peace and joy that it should be experiencing.

I cannot countenance advertising in any form other than the purely informational. If I had my way, every single media mogul, advertising executive, marketing guru and demographic surveyor would feel my Viking anger, slowly slipping down the edge of my blade as their bodies came to rest on the hilt of my tightly held sword of righteous vengeance.

I know their tricks too well, and can spot their fake posturings a mile off. Their little psychological games and NLP tricks cannot sway me - in fact I have a severe knee-jerk reaction every time I am targeted by their vapid mass-media fumblings. I am very much a channel surfer. Every time an advert spoils my viewing or listening pleasure on the TV or radio, I am instantly transformed from a passive participant to a militant hater of all things capitalist.

I work hard to try and maintain my sanity in a world gone mad. Whenever advertising or any of the multiple manifestations of the capitalist machine invades my consciousness, I am left feeling embittered, personally violated, and full of rage and hate for the vapid masses of human detritus that waste the resources of this great planet.

Fuck off and leave me alone. The futuristic views of Minority Report, where public stations everywhere scan your iris, identify you, and target advertising to their stored profiles of your spending habits are not so far away. I would put it to you that they are already here, except for the high-tech delivery of their poisonous messages.

And what are the rulers of our world doing in this current "economic crisis"? Encouraging all of us to spend, spend, spend; wanting us to continue to feed the rabid, rampant capitalist monster that has destroyed our planet and prostituted our souls. Great solution, assholes.

Where is my sword? Where is my sanity?

A Capital Idea

2008-09-30T19:24:00.009+10:00

Greetings Ramblers,

Let me firstly say sorry to any pensioners I may offend in the following post, for they are the only real undeserving victims of our current economic woes. Everyone else deserves all that they have coming to them.

So, let's launch straight into it - I cannot keep the smile from my dial. In fact, my cheeks (both sets) are sore from smiling. It is almost impossible for me to contain my mirth resulting from the long-deserved stumble into the wilderness for the worldwide fraternity of eternally greedy fat capitalist pigs.

I personally hope that no whiff of a rescue package ever makes it to Wall Street. It's worth the financial pain of a few million people just to see the greedy bastards get their come-uppance.

My wife put the whole world financial crisis into fabulous context with some very simple words to me yesterday. She said:

Yesterday, there was a lot of pretend money. Today, there isn't quite as much pretend money.

Let's face it - it's all crap anyway, this whole stock market thing. To think that a company that floats on the stock exchange goes from being an ordinary business to being a megalomaniacal financial construct that puts the mythical "shareholders" on a golden pedestal and forsakes all of those quaint, antiquated concepts like customers, employees, community obligations, morality, sustainability and modest/achievable growth. All decisions become a cynical exercise of determining the resultant effect on the share price. Not only that, but a genuinely solid company can hit the skids just because a bunch of rich assholes get spooked and decide to sell their shares. I've never understood it, and I never want to, because it would dirty my soul and crush my spirit irrevocably.

I cannot believe the amount of time and energy wasted worldwide in speculation, hedging and all of the other crap that is involved with the capitalist movement of money. The way I see it, until mankind realises that there are waaaay more important issues currently facing us (such as our continued existence on this planet), we are screwed. What we need to do is to make some very hard decisions on a multitude of issues (pollution, deforestation, energy depletion, resource depletion, mass extinctions, etc). Unfortunately, nobody has the political will or the desire to change anything if it affects our precious economies. For craps sake people - if we don't do something within the next few years (not decades) then all of the money in the world will count for nothing. Money won't make all of the pollution magically disappear, nor will it make us suddenly understand the nearly infinite complexity of the creation around us that we are trying to play God with.

Now I know that millions of people worldwide are going to suffer the consequences of this so-called financial meltdown. Tough. I have little or no sympathy for them (except for the aforementioned undeserving victims such as pensioners). My wife and I won't have any problems at all, and do you know why? Because we've worked our butts off to minimise our debts. We've made concessions and compromises throughout our lives to ensure that we live within our means. We have not relied on all of that easy credit that's been sloshing around for a decade or so, because we are realists. And lastly, we are not nearly as materialistic as the vast majority of spoiled brats that populate the modern developed world.

So, to everyone who has overextended themselves, has lived beyond their means, has reaped fruits that they have not yet sown - well duuuuuuuuuh! It's not like you didn't have it coming to you. Serves you right.

And if it ever got as bad here in Australia as it is in the good ole U S of A, then I would fight tooth and nail to block any taxpayer-funded bailout. Why should the fruits of my hard labours be used to fund a bunch of people who have been hypnotised by the bouncing carrot that capitalism offers oh-so-tantalisingly out of reach?

I would much rather settle for the potato at my feet than the golden carrots all those idiots jump blindly for.

One of my greatest hopes is that this isn't just a temporary blip on the financial radar. I've always hated capitalism with a passion, and yearn to see the day when the greedy fall to their knees and realise that their soul-destroying ways have all been for nothing. I want to see the whole damn system ground into the poisonous ooze from which it was spawned, and the sooner the better.

Most likely, the fears on Wall Street will have been overplayed, in a typically cynical effort by the monied powers to obtain yet another get-out-of-jail-free card. This hated capitalism will continue unchecked, destroying all hope for rhyme or reason. The real issues will remain hidden behind reality TV, media conglomerates, fluffy news organisations that fail to disseminate the fundamental truths to the vapid masses, the latest celebrity scandal, soap operas, marketing blitzes that brainwash the stupid into buying more things they don't need, and a bunch of politicians driven by the economic backers that got them where they are.

I fear that there's life in the old whore yet, and she will rise from her deathbed and screw the world again.

Maybe it's for the best. If we truly fall for the same old tricks yet again, then we don't deserve to continue as a species on this planet. Time to let Darwin's evolution take us to the inevitable consequence, and the sooner the better. Let the chimps or dolphins have a go before we kill them off... they surely can't do any worse.

Staring Into The Mirror

2008-09-29T09:44:00.005+10:00

One of the greatest problems facing mankind's future existence and the wellbeing of our planet is one of attitude. The sooner mankind reins in their rampant arrogance the better. We tramp our way through our lives, believing both individually and collectively that we have a divine right, a universal mandate, to exist. By rising to the top of the food chain on this planet, we have become blind to the fundamental facts as they are.

Here are a few of my thoughts on the matter...

Just because we have the ability to take what we want from the Earth does not mean that we should. We see the world as a big pile of resources without end, to be used as we see fit. There are little or no long-term considerations for sustainability and management of our devastating effects on all of the myriad delicate and interconnected ecosystems on the planet.

We consider ourselves a law unto ourselves, above and beyond the laws of nature. We continually distance ourselves from the natural rhythms, ebbs and flows of natural cycles and systems.

Way back in the dim dark past of pre-history, our ancestors were much more in tune with nature, and able to live as part of the world around us, not apart from the world around us. This must count as one of the greatest losses that we have ever encountered.

We have been incredibly lucky to balance on the knife edge of survival in the evolutionary game. This has made us arrogant, and we assume blithely that we will continue to exist as a species on this planet, no matter the odds or self-destructive behaviour that we engage in.

We should see ourselves as custodians of this planet. The continued existence of this world, and the maximising of its potential (not just for our sake alone) should be our primary goals.

In our superficial modern lives, 90% of what we believe matters, doesn't.

We seem to be squandering the gifts that we have been given, gifts such as the ability to rationalise, reason and empathise. Properly applied, these gifts can save us and our planet.

People don't generally take the time to sit down and think about things for a while. If we did, the realisation of our true position would surely switch on billions of light bulbs above our heads, illuminating our way forward.

Rarely do we consider more than just initial consequences before we act.

Peace and harmony are not ideals, but essentials.

No matter how naive it sounds, there are no conflicts that cannot be resolved.

Money does not make the world go round.

The industrial revolution set us on a path to greatness and mastery over the world around us. What a crock! We should sit down and have a good hard look at the simple equation of what we have gained from it versus what it has cost us. I believe that the world has lost out in this particular transaction.

The free market will not regulate itself and settle into a best-fit position where the interests of all people, the environment and the world in general are guarded and balanced.

A planned market economy will also not deliver a cure to our rampant destructive ways.

There are at least 3 billion too many people on this planet. We do not think twice about culling rampant destructive populations of pest animals and plants when we see an obvious imbalance or problem, but the population issues of mankind are left to grow unchecked.

The very nature of modern economies, whether capitalist or planned, relies on constant growth. We are locked into a dangerous spiral wherein we need more people to fund the people we have, and we need more funds to keep the ever-increasing peoples at the standard of living to which they have become accustomed. Thus the cycle continues ever onward, and the rape of the planet goes on unchecked.

Governments of the world, whether democratic or autocratic in nature, will continue to put self-preservation of power first, to the detriment of the hard decisions that should be made to ensure sustainable and ethical existence.

Science alone cannot hope to save us, nor can religion or philosophy alone. A combination of beliefs and endeavours is required.

The clock is ticking. We can't expect to continue on our merry way and let the following generations take care of it.

Whilst the boffins argue about the validity of the science behind climate change, there is still no denying the basic facts that chopping down old growth forests, pumping pollution into our ecosystems and depleting the world's resources are bad things.

Temporary job losses in major industries that greatly damage our ecosystems are no excuse to do nothing. If the solutions to our problems were easy, we would have fixed things generations ago. Inaction is not an option.

The Lighter Side Of Life

2008-09-17T17:45:00.002+10:00

Hello Rambling Readers,

I thought that it was time for a bit of a detour into the positive side of life for a change. Yeah, I know - not exactly what you have gotten used to with me, as I've been kind of focusing on the negative aspects of existence that bring out the rant in me...

Anyhoo, I tried to write something flowery and sweet, but, as you will see below, it just didn't pan out that way. So, I guess, more of the same from your favourite ranting psychotic...

It can be very hard for even the most rudimentary intelligence alive on this planet to keep positive, since the more you know, the more you tend to hate the self-imposed destruction all around us. The vast, vapid majority of mankind is too busy caught up in the day to day, the materialistic pursuit of an elusive happiness that, were it properly thought out and defined, is actually within us all, to bother with the eternal verities of life.

Happiness is fairly easy to achieve, so long as you are a shallow meat robot that requires little more than gluttony, greed and sexual gratification to get your rocks off. However, if you are a reasoning being with a questing mind and a spirit that refuses to accept the horribly deficient status quo, then happiness is a little harder to find and, once found, keep a hold of.

Many people find it in religion. Good for them. I am happy for them that they have found solace in their faith. However, that avenue is closed to me, as I cannot bring myself to believe in fairies, pixies, little devils with forked tails, a "God" who imposes some ridiculous concept of original sin and divinely granted grace, or (for that matter) any "God" who speaks through the words of a bunch of fat old men with beards who sat around a camp fire a couple of thousand years ago wondering how they could wrest power from the bully of the day. And don't even get me started on the whole modern christian revival Hillsong thing - the hills are alive with the sound of music (and the ringing of cash registers).

Others find it in materialism - money buys happiness. That maxim has become so much a part of our every day existence in this capitalist world that it is rarely even questioned by the masses. Those countries that have been lucky enough to wrest resources from the rest of the world, to carve out a bigger slice of pie than they deserve, do not question their position of priviledge, nor do they give more than lip service to a worldwide equality, because the pie is only so big, and there really isn't enough to go around. Thankfully, my things do not own me, nor do I aspire to contribute to the capitalist system that I have so much vitriolic hatred for.

Yet others find it in family. Nice. I have heard many espouse their views that their lives and values were so meaningless until they pumped out a couple of little miracles. Through their children, they find a sense of worth and meaning that eclipses all that came before. How wonderfully biological for them, but I can't help but think that the last thing this overtaxed planet needs is more resource hogs, eating their way through the forests, oceans, plains, mountains and deserts.

Unfortunately, I do not have a deep desire to "live on through my children" or to aspire to any kind of immortality, if that were even remotely possible, so that avenue, too, is closed to me.

So, what is left? Yeah, well, I'm still working on that one. I have a small group of family and friends that I love dearly, and that give me great pleasure. I even hope that, during my less moribund moments, I give them some form of happiness. I hope to write something that I personally am truly happy with. One day I will. I hope to be around long enough to see the beginning of the end of the great capitalist mistake that really took off with the industrial revolution. I also hope to eventually provide a fine meal for some worms.

Can one really hope for more?

The Internet - Saviour or Sinner?

2008-09-08T17:53:00.005+10:00

Hi Ramblers,

Long time no post. Been kinda busy, living life, getting caught up in the whole capitalist slavery thing, as you do, whether you like it or not. The whole concept of capitalism is rather complex, and quite a subtle trap for all of us (those that live in the developed chasing-the-carrot western world, that is). For the rest of you, survival is still one of the main battles...

I was thinking a bit about my post a while ago about universal values, and I kind of got to tackling the whole issue of the existence of the Internet. I forgot to mention at the time that the advent of the Internet is one of the great developments for mankind in the modern era. Once again, I need to mention that this is only the case for those countries where the Internet is readily available, and where mere survival has become more of an academic problem than a practical one.

My thoughts on the Internet are as follows - I believe that it has the potential to save us. However, it is fraught with danger. Let me explain...

Firstly, let me point out that any worldwide cultural change takes time to manifest itself. The effects of the Internet are far-reaching, and are only just beginning to filter through to our day-to-day existence. With the time-lag effects of generational change, and the inertial effects of existing power bases, it is realistic to assume that any truly significant changes will take some time to reach critical mass and break through the barriers of existing power bases.

It is already a rather exciting phenomenon that rapid technological change has become part of our every day lives. What would once have been considered impossible in the space of generations is now taking place in mere decades or years. This acceleration of change affects us in every facet of our existence. It would be an extremely dangerous act to simply embrace this acceleration without questioning it, despite the many perceived advantages that it may have.

What we are facing is a very interesting time. We are perched upon a precipice, with major advancements in multiple fields of endeavour bombarding us from all sides. One of the criticalities of this is that we need to remember our past to ensure that we do not make the same mistakes again and again.

A difficult proposition, considering the ever greater body of knowledge that is accumulating, and the continued abstraction of the reality that surrounds us. One of my main concerns is that we are climbing further and further up the ladder, without realising that we need to maintain a firm footing on the ground in order to survive.

Who amongst us is able to say that, given a catastrophic failure of the systems around us (the systems that we so take for granted), we would be able to apply basic survival techniques to live out the next few days without easy access to the fundamentals of life (food, water and shelter)? We may still have survival instincts hard-coded into our animalistic nature, but have we not become so far removed from the real world that we would struggle to stay alive given a removal from our comfortable lives of takeaway pizzas, water at the turn of the tap, and a safe warm house at the flick of a switch?

Safety in the modern world is merely an illusion, and has always been so. Anyone who believes otherwise is deluding themselves. The whole concept of the modern world is that mankind is king, that we are able to control everything in the material world, and that no catastrophe can touch us. The danger that faces us is that we are a spoiled couple of generations who have never known real hardship, have never known the cold, hard edge of survival at its rawest. The spoiled generations will come crashing down to earth with an incredible bang when the systems that we rely on are no longer able to cope with the harsh realities of existence.

A great universal quote from some nameless genius states that mankind is only 2 or 3 meals away from total chaos. We can manage skipping a couple of meals, sure, but when a major catastrophe or challenge disrupts our day-to-day existence to the point of destroying our essentials (food, water and shelter), then the thin veneer of society will break down, and we will be left fending for ourselves without any recourse to all that we once placed our faith in.

Whether that threat comes from disease (antibiotic-resistant strains, etc.), peak oil, global climate change or other unforeseeable factors beyond our control, the illusion of safety will be stripped from us in mere instants. The undeveloped world will most likely fare better than the fat, spoiled developed western world, because they are used to the daily struggle for survival. We will have to relearn this valuable skill, and quickly, to avoid extermination.

So, where does the Internet lie in all of this? I see the Internet as a possible saviour - through the dissemination of knowledge to the masses. But for as long as it remains an irrelevant source of porn, peer-to-peer piracy, proprietary products and a great new marketing tool for the monied powers of the capitalist machine, I fail to see how it can possibly achieve its true potential of informing the masses and preparing us for the fall that inevitably lies before us.

I only hope that we are ready for what I personally believe will come to pass - a cataclysmic event from any of the hundreds of possible timebombs, happily ticking away. Call me a pessimist, if you like. I choose to think of myself as a realist. When the shit hits the fan, come and see me. I'll be ready, and looking forward to the challenge of day-to-day survival. Let's face it, when all of the veneer of modern living is stripped away, that is what life is all about.

Till next time, oh ramblers, your humble servant is calling to you from the wings of the wasteland...

It's All In The Context

2007-12-03T11:36:00.000+11:00

Greetings Oh Rambling Masses,

Funny how words change, depending on their context. Take the following examples:

Camel Toe

Fly's Eyes

Beckham Schmeckham

2007-11-28T15:00:00.000+11:00

Greets to you, oh Rambling Masses,

One particular piece of behavioural oddness that strikes me at the moment is the Rambling Masses' and the Rambling Media's obsession with all things David Beckham. For God's sake - he's only a football player.

Everyone is going on about what an amazing guy he is, how giving he is, how kind he is, blah, blah, blah...

Did I miss something? Why are we all queueing up to kiss his ring? Let's just put it into perspective - he gets paid hundreds of millions of dollars to play games in front of a crowd. He's the one that should be abasing himself in front of us and thanking us all for paying him more than anyone on this planet is worth.

This Cult of Personality thing is really an incredible bore. Get over it. When he finds the cure for cancer, then come and talk to me.

Democrazy In Australia II - AWA-nce Australia Fair

2007-11-24T14:52:00.000+11:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Thank you tfk for your comment that you left regarding my last post (Democrazy In Australia). It raises a few interesting points about AWAs which I wasn't going to get into, but you have inspired me to tackle them. Your comment was:

Economics 101

No IR system will prevent a serious international downturn. You can have an IR system that is flexible enough to moderate wage rises - or even allow for wage cuts - or an inflexible one in which you lose your job entirely.

Firstly, I don't recall mentioning anywhere in my blog post anything at all about an IR system being able to prevent a serious international downturn. The two don't even have a causal relationship, so it is impossible, much in the same way that a Federal Government can't dictate interest rate policy to the RBA...

I agree with you that there were inherent inflexibilities in the pre-AWA IR system. For a start, Unfair Dismissal laws could be a great burden to business. It was next to impossible to fire someone for genuine reasons, and this led to much trouble. Larger companies were often forced to hide their inept/lazy/unproductive/dishonest/militant employees in a "safe" role somewhere out of the way so they couldn't continue to cause problems. Smaller companies were simply in huge trouble, because they had nowhere to hide said employees, and often couldn't afford to put on more staff.

Further to this, the Collective Bargaining structure of the unions quite often meant that there would be wages blowouts as sectors followed each other - "oh the so-and-so workers got a 7% pay rise - we want that too". Some unions were waaaay too powerful - I lost count of the number of times that the docks were used to hold Australia to ransom as the unions continued to reach their hands way too far into the owners' pockets. Many industries were losing their competitive advantage as a result of impractical, self-serving and irresponsible union thuggery and bloody-mindedness.

In my humble opinion, everything in life should be about balance. This holds true also for Industrial Relations in this country. There have been times when the unions have held way too much power, and there have been times when the owners of capital have held way too much power. It is my considered opinion that AWAs are the thin end of the wedge that will drive the Australian workforce into a new age of slavery.

In the industry I work in (Electrical Engineering), like in most professional sectors, there is no union representation. I have never belonged to a union, and most probably never will. From my first day out of university, my pay and conditions have always been individually negotiated between myself and my employer, so I guess you could say that I have always been on AWAs, even a decade and a half before they existed as a structured IR system.

In the early years of your employment life, this usually means you get taken advantage of because you don't have a clear understanding of your worth, have imperfect communication skills, and/or lack the confidence to engage in dialogue with your employer. This is a major problem with AWAs and individual bargaining.

It is an even greater problem for those people who will never have the skills required to engage their employers and negotiate pay and conditions for themselves. Unfortunately, the vast majority of these people are either working in low skilled industries or industries where they have very little bargaining power for one reason or another. This small bargaining power also manifests itself in so-called "popular" industries, where the supply of workers far outstrips the demand. As a result, the divide between the haves and the have-nots will manifest itself in ever greater imbalances within the employment landscape.

As the broader economic environment plays out the standard business cycle oscillations, along with non-cyclical factors such as the anticipated dampening of demand from India and China, the continued weakness of the American dollar, and the much-anticipated though oft unspoken point of Peak Oil world oil production, there will be greater and greater pressure placed on corporations (especially those who are responsible to shareholders to continue to deliver profit above all other considerations).

Now, I've been searching for a long while, and I've yet to find a publicly listed corporation that actually gives a wet slap about its employees, about its customers, or about inconvenient things such as a social conscience or the environmental impact of unsustainable and polluting practices, unless it has a nett positive effect on the bottom line profit figures. So, with greater economic strain, the companies will go on a huge raping, murdering and pillaging spree across the Australian employment landscape, and AWAs will provide them with the almost limitless power to do as they please.

Government won't intervene, because they want big business to continue to provide all of those good things to society that they've been delivering for decades - mass produced cars, cheap TVs, and all the panoply of sparkly glittering things that keep the electorate docile enough to keep chasing the carrot on the stick instead of asking the important and difficult questions of their leaders that need to be asked.

Unions, once too powerful for their own good but now just a shadow of their former glory, will have no legislatively protected or endorsed power whatsoever, and so, with a whimper, the Australian labour force will bite down on the wooden coathanger and take it like a man...

Corporations and other capitalist entities have had well in advance of 50 years to develop a social conscience, to develop a responsible and accountable approach towards their impact on society and the environment, and they've most certainly not succeeded unless they've been dragged kicking and screaming through the courts and forced to do it. To assume that they will "do the right thing" by the Australian workers, when the temptation and opportunity are there to screw them in favour of greater profit margins, is very much a naive skip down the yellow brick road.

So, tfk, I am sorry, but I cannot agree with you that AWAs provide greater flexibility than the old IR system, despite the fact that this is the oft-touted argument for AWAs. It has little to do with flexibility, and a lot more to do with destruction of the balance between worker and capital owner, greatly in favour of the capital owner. I am sure that a struggling father of 3 kids, forced to give up his penalty rates, forced to work longer hours to make up for the lower wages, hardly seeing the kids grow up, missing all of those precious moments that are the icing on life's cake, putting almost unbearable strain on the family relationships, would love to talk to you about flexibility. Sure, more flexibility for the employer, no flexibility for the worker.

In this current unprecedented economic boom, with unemployment at near-record lows, the average worker who feels unduly pressured by the bite of AWAs into their pay and conditions has the "flexibility" to find another job. When the economic purse strings are tightened during tougher times, this door too will be closed, and the worker will be left with little or no recourse.

By no means am I advocating a return to the days of high-power unions running roughshod over business, ultimately harming the workers that they are supposed to be representing, and holding Australian businesses and consumers to ransom in the process. My fear is that this may happen if Labor wins the election without having to rely on at least a couple of sane voices in the Senate keeping them in check.

What I will say is that AWAs strip away any possible safety net that the average Australian worker has, leaving them open to a return to the Industrial Revolution days of sweat shops, terrible working conditions, lousy pay, and a subjugated underclass. Which, I guess, is exactly what the Beige Howards of this world would love, since big business would continue to piss in their pockets for handing it all to them on a silver platter.

Democrazy In Australia

2007-11-23T20:00:00.000+11:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Here I sit, blogging away on the eve of the federal election in Australia. I think firstly that there is no possible way that I am ever going to vote for Beige Howard, the Liberal Party, or the steaming turd that is their policies of inaction, floating on top of the sewerage pit that is modern Australian politics.

Prior to the election campaign that has done so much to prove that the modern developed world has no depth or direction whatsoever, I thought that I might vote Labor. However, 4-odd weeks of campaigning has proved to me beyond a doubt that the Media Whore and the Labor party that he leads has very little to offer by way of actual policy or direction for this once-great country of ours.

It amazes me somewhat that I am actually going to vote Green. I used to think that The Greens were a bunch of reactionary extremists with no real view on anything beyond the environment. In fact, a rather funny quote used to spring to mind - "I used to think that The Greens were a watermelon - green on the outside, and red on the inside, but I now know that they are an avocado - hard green on the outside, soft green on the inside, with a brown nut in the middle". However, largely through the leadership of Senator Bob Brown, I have changed my mind about The Greens.

For a start, they are pretty well the only party that has ignored spin in favour of substance, and has stuck their neck out and made some actual policy statements on the issues that really matter - the environment, Kyoto, concrete emission targets, opposition to the Gunns pulp mill in Tassie, and other green policy domains. However, where they've really stood out is in their mature policy approach to all matters that affect Australians in this day and age. They have a genuine plan for pulling Australian troops out of an American colonial war that we should never have entered. They have a preference towards spending on services and infrastructure, instead of giving away $34 billion worth of tax cuts (which will go to the banks when interest rates go up and up and up).

If we don't remove the AWA's from the employment landscape, then we will all pay for it dearly. Things might be running along tickety-boo at the moment, but as soon as China and India falter economically (which surely they will in the next 5 years or so, without a doubt), and as soon as this grossly over-inflated resource boom chokes and dies, then we will be left with the mighty corporations who have the power to shaft you, me, and everyone else when they start to feel the pinch. "Fair Go" Ombudsman my arse. We will all be well and truly screwed. Still, if the majority of Australians actually vote for that Liberal asshole, we will have deserved the reaping of the harvest we have sown...

My only hope is that Labor wins the election, for they are the lesser of two evils in the current political environment, and The Greens have the balance of power in the Senate.

Beige Howard has gone into the prior two elections with the grand sweeping statements that his government is responsible for the economic strength of Australia. I can't believe how stupid the electorate has been to believe him. A deranged baboon could have run the country and achieved as much. In a time when the world economy is doing so well, and when the international resources boom is driving ridiculous amounts of demand, there is no way that Australia could have been grossly economically mismanaged, and still not come out smelling like the proverbial rose. To take the credit for this, and to win the last election on a promise to keep interest rates low, is the ultimate in political spin. The constant emphasis on the economy above any other policy is one of the most shortsighted and arrogant political initiatives of any age, and it gets my blood boiling. We are standing upon the threshold of a pivotal moment in human history, when the very survival of the human race and thousands of species that we co-exist with are threatened, and all this anachronistic shithead can think about is the economy and how wonderful it is that we are all buying plasma screens and new cars...

My concern is that when the mining companies dig 1.6km below the deserts of Australia, they will find Beige Howard's head, buried deep in the sand. They won't be able to export him as a resource, because the rest of the world already has their quota of narrow-minded ineffectual leaders who choose inaction instead of genuine policy at a time when the world needs leadership and a departure from capitalist vested interests.

My other concern is that a proctologist will find Beige Howard's head buried deep inside his own anus, the irony of discovering a modern-day ouroboros won't be appreciated, and the joys of the infinite stupidity of man will be overlooked.

If Beige Howard wins this election, I will have lost all faith in the political system and in the intelligence of the average Australian voter.

I hear that New Zealand is a nice place to live...

Cloeseup Of The New Warne-Muralidaran Trophy

2007-11-20T14:18:00.000+11:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Australia just won the Warne-Muralidaran Trophy, by beating Sri Lanka. Here's a closeup of the trophy...

Of Road Signs And Refugees

2007-11-16T11:42:00.000+11:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Kevin Andrews was having a bit of a doodle on how best to get his message across to Australians. He thought that perhaps road signs would be a good way to go...

Harken Unto This, Americans All

2007-11-16T09:11:00.000+11:00

Greetings and Salutations, oh Rambling Masses,

I came across this rather interesting poem by Francis Brett Young. Despite totally ignoring the existence of native Amerinds, not mentioning slavery, being environmentally irresponsible, and being a bit heavy on the old religious dogma, it does shine a light onto the true path that America should be treading. However, I also realise that this poem has a strong tinge of irony considering the way that America has behaved over the past century or so...

What are you carrying Pilgrims, Pilgrims?
What did you carry beyond the sea?
..... We carried the Book, we carried the Sword,
..... A steadfast heart in the fear of the Lord,
..... And a living faith in His plighted word
..... That all men should be free.

What were your memories, Pilgrims, Pilgrims?
What of the dreams you bore away?
..... We carried the songs our fathers sung
..... By the hearths of home when they were young,
..... And the comely words of the mother-tongue
..... In which they learnt to pray.

What did you find there, Pilgrims, Pilgrims?
What did you find beyond the waves?
..... A stubborn land and a barren shore,
..... Hunger and want and sickness sore:
..... All these we found and gladly bore
..... Rather than be slaves.

How did you fare there, Pilgrims, Pilgrims?
..... What did you build in that stubborn land?
..... We felled the forest and tilled the sod
..... Of a continent no man had trod
..... And we established there, in the Grace of God,
..... The rights whereby we stand.

What are you bringing us, Pilgrims, Pilgrims?
Bringing us back in this bitter day?
..... The selfsame things we carried away:
..... The Book, the Sword,
..... The fear of the Lord,
..... And the boons our fathers dearly bought:
..... Freedom of Worship, Speech and Thought,
..... Freedom from Want, Freedom from Fear,
..... The liberties we hold most dear,
..... And who shall say us Nay?

More On The Environment

2007-11-14T15:38:00.000+11:00

Greetings Oh Rambling Masses,

It gets my blood boiling every time that I hear Beige Howard's stock standard answer about any policy that will address the sorry state of the environment - "I will not do anything that harms the economy or risks jobs".

This is such an inane response. Now I know that Beige Howard is not a stupid man, but he is sure acting like one. At a time when renewable energy research and manufacturing companies are leaving our fair shores to go to countries where the political will for green solutions is strong (such as Germany), we should be embracing the alternative energy sector with open arms, not pushing them away with tired political platitudes.

It's very simple, really. If the federal government of Australia invested serious money into renewable energy, a whole new industry would blossom, leading to significant business involvement, tens of thousands of jobs, and a chance for Australia to reclaim the technical edge that they used to have over many countries in the world, back when the concept of the "knowledge nation" was more than just a glib bit of political spin.

The logging and coal industries are very powerful in Australia, hence the political foot-dragging over environmental issues. Heaven forbid that the nuclear industry gets a toehold as well.

Instead of the comparatively tiny amounts of money being bandied about in this election for the environment, we should put the $34 billion tax cuts on hold and invest the lot in building up a whole new industry. Heck, the loggers and coal miners can be reskilled, giving Australia a real and positive future in what will become one of the most important world industries in the years to come.

Burying our heads in the sand as so many of our politicians are doing is not an option. Even just looking at it from an economic point of view (as all the pollies seem to do these days, instead of looking at the human face of policies) now is the time to make the investment, and reap the rewards not just in 10 or 20 years, but for all of our future generations.

Solar, wind, geothermal, tidal - these are just a few of the energy sources that should be developed further. As a nation, Australians pride themselves on being innovative. Let's put this talent to good use in solving a world problem that affects all of us.

Politicians of Australia, it is time to stand up and make some real policy decisions, instead of the negative smear campaigning and irresponsible money-throwing that has turned this election into a joke. I, for one, am not laughing...

Life In The Wild

2007-11-12T14:45:00.001+11:00

Greets to you Oh Rambling Masses,

Time for some happy thoughts. Enough doom and gloom for now...

I thought I would turn my hand to crafting a bit of a description of the particular slice of paradise in which we live. Berowra, for those who don't know, is at the extreme northern outskirts of Sydney, Australia. As such, it is in a very bushy area - a far cry from the concrete jungle of the city.

We are blessed with all manner of wildlife in a setting that suggests it is eminently possible for mankind to live side by side in peaceful coexistence with nature. We are not apart from nature, but a part of nature, and that is something that we should never forget. At various times, we have directly seen or seen evidence of the following of God's fine creatures:

A Wallaby - I've seen him scurrying off into the bush adjoining our property on 3 separate occasions. He comes over in our backyard and sleeps amongst the bromeliads sometimes.
A number of Possums. We often hear them rehearsing for the marsupial tour of Riverdance on our roof. As a result of the heavy possum presence, I am currently engaged in one of those man-projects that one starts and eventually (one day) finishes - building an enclosure around our vegie garden so we can actually get some tomatoes this year, unlike last year. When our apples go off, we feed either the possums or the rainbow lorikeets, whoever gets to them first... Here are a couple of shots of our possum (Basil) in one of those classic Oooops moments, trying to get at some apple scraps...

Water Skinks and Water Dragons. Our main water dragon (Speedy) can often be seen basking in the sun. Here are some choice snaps of Speedy, hamming it up for the camera...

Diamond Pythons - we've had 3 different ones grace us with their presence at various times over the past 2 or so years. They are magnificent creatures - very shy and totally harmless. Hard to spot in this photo - just look for the green branch...

Red-belly Black snake - just as shy, but not quite as harmless. We had one in our backyard for a couple of weeks. He even took one of our Koi Carp, the blighter.
Goannas - we've had 3 or 4 different ones visit us for a while. At the moment, we've got a small one (about 90cm in length) who keeps trying to catch Speedy and make a meal of him, but thankfully he hasn't been quick enough or lucky enough yet... In the second photo, a goanna is eyeing off our carp, trying to decide whether he's hungry enough to go for a dip...

Small brown frogs by our ponds - don't know what type they are, but summer evenings are filled with calls of "Bik. Bok. Bek." in a delightful chorus. We often have tadpoles in our top pond.
Koi Carp - we have 4 of them in our lower pond, adding a splash of colour...

Rainbow Lorikeets, Eastern Rosellas, Crimson Rosellas, King Parrots, Kookaburras, Wattlebirds, and of course the ever-present Sulfur-crested Cockatoos. We even had a Wattlebird nesting in a hanging pot by our front door, incubating two eggs. Getting home of an evening became quite the exercise in careful and quiet sneaking, as we opened the front door ever so slowly so as not to disturb the roosting mother. The two little ones have de-nested now, and one of them has definitely survived. Here are some pics of the natural order of things. It's amazing how much joy can be derived from watching nature at work.

An empty nest in the process of being built:

Trying the nest on for size:

Two little eggs:

The first shot of the little ones:

Just starting to open their eyes, and very hungry:

Starting to look more like real birds:

Mum, playing injured to try and distract me away from my photo session with the little ones:

Looking very alert. This shot was taken about an hour before they left the nest:

It's a big world on the first day out of the nest:

The Land Of Nod

2007-11-08T19:38:00.000+11:00

Hi Ramblers,

One thing that I've noticed over the past 3 years or so of political interviews is this - quite often there is an anonymous nodder in the background, providing nods of approval at the appropriate moments during the spin that the politician is delivering, to act as a kind of subliminal approval prod, much in the same way that canned laughter is used to make you feel like laughing at stupid comedy like Australia's Funniest Home Video.

I wonder what the job description is for this very important role. It would run something like this, I would think:

Must have a clearly defined neck that shows head nodding to good effect.
Must have a fairly mediocre head, so that attention is not distracted from the politician you are nodding for.
Must be slightly taller than the politician you are nodding for, so that the perspective is correct for the camera.
Must be able to follow autocue prompts of [nod now] at the appropriate time.
Must not overact, because too much nodding is just silly.
Must not nod off during the interview.
Must have head attached fairly solidly in case a significant quantity of nodding is required during a particularly nod-worthy interview.

I believe that both the Liberals and Labor have gym instructors and personal trainers specifically hired to maintain the nodders at their peak of fitness.

Murali

2007-11-08T17:02:00.000+11:00

Hi Ramblers,

I don't care what you say - Muralidaran is a cheating chucker. But hang on a second there, Pete, I hear you say - he's gone through video analysis to see if his bent elbow straightens during his bowling action. Yeah sure, but you look at the difference between when he's got the motion analysis dots on and when he's bowling in a game.

I may be a rather mediocre cricketer, but it's my sport of choice, and as far as I am concerned, that bastard's arm straightens during his delivery.

And no, it's not just because his bodgy record of wickets taken is about to overtake Warnie's as the top wicket-taker in international cricket, either.

I hate cheaters. They shit me.

The Boogie Man's At Our Door

2007-11-08T09:28:00.000+11:00

The Boogie Man's at our door,
Hear the God-almighty roar,
He goes bump in the night
And gives us a fright,
The Boogie Man's at our door.

Any demon will do,
It doesn't have to be true,
He once was red,
Now there's a towel on his head,
Any demon will do.

The political creed is the same,
We have to find someone to blame,
A frightened rabble is easily led,
The sacred cow is easily bled,
The political creed is the same.

It's all for the public good,
Cover our eyes with a hood,
Crank out a new scare campaign,
Then break out the champagne,
It's all for the public good.

Trample on justice and freedom,
Stoke the fires of the pogrom,
Silence all the dissenting voices
Offer us no clear choices,
Trample on justice and freedom.

Now it's time to reap what you've sown,
A bitter crop, meanly grown,
A society of fear and intolerance,
A people guided by ignorance,
Now it's time to reap what you've sown.

We are really much better than this,
Simply step back from the abyss,
See the truth contained in the lies,
Starve fear and it dies,
We are really much better than this.

The Conundrum Of The Australian Farmer

2007-10-29T16:09:00.000+11:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

I am in a bit of a didactic solutions kind of mood today, so I thought that I would aim the flickering torchlight of my intellect and reason on a rather topical issue in contemporary Australia - what shall we do to save our poor farmers?

For those not in the know, our farmers are struggling more than they ever have in our 200-year-odd history of western civilisation. Drought conditions are continuing to turn pasture land and arable land into arid dust bowls, soil salinity is robbing the earth of its growing potential, and the national river network is desperately in need of water.

The federal government is doing what they can by providing some $3 billion worth of drought aid, but this is really only a short-term sticky plaster solution to what is quite likely going to be a problem that will remain with us in the long term, what with climate change and the growing scarcity of fresh water.

So, what do we do to save the farmers and, just as importantly, keep home-grown produce on our tables? It seems like it is an impossible problem. Many different solutions have been tendered, from the sublime to the ridiculous. On the ridiculous side of things, we have such ideas as piping fresh water from the north, over thousands of kilometers to the drier southern climes, or building more desalination plants. All poppycock, and not at all practical.

My solution to the problem is at once complex and oh so simple. It seems obvious to me that European farming practices, on which our farming is almost exclusively based, are no longer a viable method of using (and abusing) the land. I further postulate that the first thing we should do is to change our whole idea of how we farm.

First, the government should supply significant funding increases to bodies like the CSIRO, so that they can engage in research to determine native species of flora that can be cultivated to provide food for people and stock. Let's face it - every half-decent gardener with their little plot of suburban land knows these days that native plants are ideally suited to the climate we live in and with. There's a reason for this - the plants have had millions of years to evolve to suit their environment. Duh!

Here's another real brainwave - how about the CSIRO research actively engages the aboriginal communities to learn from a people that have been here for 40,000-odd years? Not only will we learn a huge amount about sustainable practices in Australia and which plants and animals could be viable food sources with the least possible impact and most suited to their local microcosms, but we would also be empowering those aborigines who want to make a go of it to take a place of pride and honour in our society as teachers and guides. Working together, we could prove that we really are the "knowledge nation", instead of throwing millennia of lore out the window.

It would not be an easy task. There would be much trial and error, but I am just about certain that viable alternatives can be found amongst the "bush tucker" style of plants and animals to feed this nation, save the farmers, and lift the majority of aborigines up to where they belong.

As consumers, we also need to be very open to new ideas. We must start to accept the new foods that we carry home in our shopping bags (canvas bags, of course...) and prepare lovingly in our kitchens.

A classic example is meat. Go to any supermarket, and you will be confronted with vast walls of chicken, lamb, beef and pork. If you're lucky, you might see two small trays of limp, tired kangaroo meat, costing about $8.5 million per gram. This is so very wrong. Roos are very drought tolerant, their breeding cycles are perfectly adjustable and in tune with their local environment, and as soon as you leave the cities, you really start to get an idea of how many of the buggers there are roaming around the place. If only we diverted some of the effort away from chicken, sheep, cattle and pig farming and into kangaroo farming, we would have a much more sustainable outlook for all farmers.

It's great that the government is helping the farmers out, but you have to realise at some point that a quick fix like that isn't going to come near to solving the long-term problems of inefficient and unsustainable farming practices. It's akin to spending tens of thousands of dollars fixing up a car's engine when the real problem lies in the fact that it has square wheels.

Until next time Ramblers, stay real.

Are We Really That Stupid?

2007-10-16T12:01:00.000+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Well, the real election campaign has started here in Australia, with a predictable economy-based grab for votes by the incumbent Prime Minister, Beige Howard. He and his Treasurer Peter Costfellow have promised tax cuts to all, costing the country some $34 billion over the next 3 years.

Are we really that stupid? Are we really going to buy into this shameless vote grab, choosing short term selfishness over a real progressive future plan for the country and our progeny? Beige certainly hopes so.

Let me just break it down into really simple terms for everyone - just a bit of elementary mathematics.

FACT 1: The average wage earner will be $30 a week better off after the 3-year tax reform currently on the table. That's $1560 per year.

FACT 2: In September 2007, the average mortgage nationally was $329,489, with the average New South Wales home loan at $382,790.

FACT 3: The inflationary pressure caused by a staged $34 billion injection into the economy will lead to a 0.25% interest rate hike at the very least, most probably a 0.5% interest rate hike.

FACT 4: Pursuant to Fact 3, the average home owner will be paying an extra $1380 per year on mortgage repayments.

FACT 5: The total effect of the tax cuts on our hip pockets is an average grand total of $180 per year.

Now, I ask you, do all of the dense bastards out there in Ramble land actually think that this is a sweet deal? I personally hope not.

Here's a staggeringly intelligent alternative that I've got. Take that $34 billion and use it to put a water tank in every single household in Australia. There are approximately 8.5 million households in Australia. With an average installation cost of $4000 per house, that comes to a grand total of about $33 billion. We can then save $4.5 billion per desalination plant that our stupid state governments are proposing as the solution to our water shortage problems.

There's even $1 billion left over to spend on the biggest mother of a party ever, to celebrate the first sensible political decision in the modern age...

What A Shock!

2007-10-15T16:38:00.000+10:00

Hello Fellow Rambling Masses,

My God! What a shock! Beige Howard is going to fight the election on an economic front. What a surprise. I never expected him, the great money-over-all-else man, to forsake all rhyme, reason, environmental concerns, worker disregard, infrastructure indifference, etc., etc., just for a braindead grab at votes.

So, here we are, in an economic boom that has absolutely nothing to do with the governing party and their (lack of) policies, and they are once again touting and flogging that old, old dead warhorse of political spin "oh, we've done so well with the economy - how can you possibly trust the country with anyone else?" caper.

Let me tell you that a blind, toothless, rude spit-roaster with halitosis, a racking cough and a tendency to hit on your girlfriend at barbeques could have done just as good a job at running the Australian economy as the current 11-year old regime that likes to claim all the kudos for what is a worldwide economic phenomenon tangentially affecting Australia. Nice work, Beige. Well done. We couldn't possibly have done it without you.

Now, just a bit of advice for the 5-week election campaign that looms - don't get anywhere near a real policy. That's dangerous. Just stick to tax cuts and continuous re-runs of the "interest rates would be higher under labor" statements that won you the last election. It will all be okay. I am sure that the electorate is every bit as dense and dimwitted as last time...

AWAy Forward?

2007-10-07T16:08:00.001+10:00

Greetings Rambling Masses,

I won't rabbit on too long about AWA (workplace agreements between employers and their employees which are replacing collective bargaining as the new standard for the establishment of employment conditions), but I feel that there is one very important thing that is NOT being said in the debate about them as we move towards a federal election.

Australia, along with many other parts of the world, is enjoying a time of almost unprecedented economic boom. Unemployment is very low, due in only a very small part to Beige Howard and his band of smarmy men. How can this government take the credit for something that is happening on a global scale, something that they have no control whatsoever over? Without the demand for resources from China, India and other developing super-powers, Australia would not be enjoying the current walk in the park.

When people debate the introduction of the AWAs, which gives a huge amount of power back to the employer, there are a few things that need to be considered. At the moment, economic times are great! The world is our oyster. The cases of mistreatment and exploitation of workers are not that great in number. There are a few cases where greed and the unhealthy capitalist urge to chase ever-greater profit margins have resulted in workers' rights being unacceptably trampled on, but on the whole, there has not been too much to report negatively about. Low skilled and low paid workers will continue to bear the brunt of the AWAs, since their bargaining power is next to nix.

Now, let's change the parameters slightly and see what is going to happen. It doesn't take a world-class fortune teller to look into the depths of the crystal ball to realise that when times start to get tough again (and this is indeed a certainty) then the pendulum will swing, and everyone will start to get raped and pillaged by the AWAs. The government's pretend safety net (the so-called "fair go" ombudsman) will be swamped with millions of cases of unfair dismissal, sub-standard conditions, stripping of holiday pay and penalty rates, unacceptable work hours, and pay rates that will dive like the stockmarket worms on a bad day.

Now, I agree that during the 70's and 80's, the unions had way too much power. We had a strike every second day, and there were rolling blackouts and lack of services aplenty when this happened. I personally don't ever want to go back to those days. However, I also don't want to go back to the days of legalised sweatshop conditions, child labour, unsafe work practices, and ridiculously long working hours. It was these things that led to the formation of unions in the first place, and it was these things that the unions battled against, fighting for worker rights. Okay, they then went on to become fat cats and part of the problem, but we must guard against swinging the pendulum too far the other way. Beige Howard has done just that.

When did a company in a competitive capitalist environment ever introduce policies that safeguarded workers' rights without having pressure brought to bear on them? Very rarely. If we disempower the unions too much, we lose the balance that is crucial in all facets of society.

For it is all about balance. Don't give the unions too much power. Don't give the owners of capital too much power. Try to tread the middle path. This is why I think that AWAs are one of the most backward steps since feudal lords crunched their fine boots down on their vassals' necks.

A Message To Be Respected (And Listened To)

2007-10-06T07:08:00.000+10:00

Greetings and Salutations, oh Rambling Masses,

Here I am on a Saturday morn, having just seen my wife off in her 5:30AM taxi to the airport. I am not tired, so I flick the teev on and see what it has to offer. After getting the latest blast of gangstas rapping about hos and bling on early morning Rage, and wondering why in Australia we have this fascination with all of this American crap, I decide to flick through the stations and see what else is on.

Being in Sydney, I get the local independent station TVS (station 31). We often tune in just for a laugh at the sometimes amateurish content, but every now and then there is a diamond in the rough.

Prem Rawat is just such a diamond. For those who don't know him from a bar of soap, let me tell you a bit about him. Also known as Maharaji, he is a 50 year old Indian man who tours around the world talking about peace, love and understanding. He is not associated with any religious movements, and in my humble opinion, his philosophies are indeed a thing of beauty that should be heard by more people.

When you mention philosophy, people usually think about the egghead "If a tree falls in the forest and there's no-one there to hear it, does it still make a sound" stuff. However, philosophy is all this and much more. Philosophy is about investigating and defining our place in the world, and about the path towards better understanding of ourselves, others, and the universe at large. Prem Rawat's philosophical discourses are approachable, palatable and practical, and for that I applaud him and have the utmost respect for him.

Also, when he talks, he sounds like The Late Show's parody of Desmond Tutu - "What we neeeeeeeeed..."

I would like to share with you the transcript from the show that I caught. It is all about peace and happiness - things that we should all be striving for with all of our energy. It is not pie-in-the-sky stuff, but real and practical words of wisdom. For those who would like to know more about Prem Rawat and his lectures, you can visit his website. Without further ado, here is one of his lecture transcripts.

The Fundamental Need - by Prem Rawat

We talk about peace, but do we ever stop and wonder, "Where did this idea of peace come from?" Why do human beings across the face of this earth even want peace?

If peace is a luxury, then you can say, "Well, it would be nice to have peace." But it’s an innate and fundamental desire, a need, a necessity that gets acknowledged in a human being. Something stirs from within and says, "Without peace, the whole equation is incomplete." Throughout the world’s civilizations, peace has always been something that has been acknowledged.

The importance I am giving peace is that it is just as important as being able to breathe, just as important as being able to see, just as important as being able to exist. Something within each human being stirs every single day and says, "Let me feel, let me experience the state in which I am not burdened with conflict. It is important for me to feel that simplicity in my life."

Whether we live in what we call a free society or in prison, we need to feel something. What is so fundamental to us is not the boundaries of countries or even our ideals, for in the midst of the ideals, we have forgotten the fundamental human thing.

In this existence, we forget what the primary purpose is. What is the most important thing to you as a human being? To welcome that and not find it mysterious because it isn’t mysterious, not to find it routine because it is not routine. To acknowledge that the life I have is an exquisite gift, and I need to make the most of it.

An empty pitcher, an empty well, cannot fill other vessels. A dry well? You can throw 10,000 buckets into it, and all that will come out is sand. And that’s if you’re lucky. For a lamp to light other lamps, that lamp has to be lit. For a candle to light other candles, that candle has to be lit. Peace is a noble objective; helping mankind is noble. But it has to begin with a lit lamp. First and foremost, peace has to be recognized in a person’s own self.

Everybody’s requirements are different when it comes to this world: somebody likes a blue car; somebody likes a green car; somebody likes a white car. I’m not passing judgment on that. That’s fine. But there is one need that is the same for all. The name for water is different in different languages, but water in itself is not different. Its ability to quench thirst is not different.

We are free to understand the gift that we have been given. That is a freedom no one can take away from us - not another government, not a terrorist. There is a peace that resides equally in the heart of every human being. It is not a peace that somebody hands us on a platter, because that peace can be taken away some day. This is a peace that no one can take away from us.

This is a peace that can be felt even in a battlefield - the innate peace, fundamental to everyone. The fundamentals of every human being: freedom, understanding, peace, joy, happiness.

Feel that peace in your life. Feel that joy in your life. Feel that understanding in your life. Come from that place, and there will be no end to how much you can be filled with beautiful understanding and gratitude. Make it real, make it practical. Make it the way it is supposed to be - every life, everywhere touched because a lit lamp came by and was able to light the unlit lamps. This is the possibility for all of us, but first we need to be lit.

Is it asking for a lot? Probably. Is it impossible? Absolutely not. It is very, very possible. It will take a lot of effort, but then effort is one thing we can make. And it is up to us.

Economics 101

2007-10-04T20:46:00.000+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Here's my rather simple take on the economy, be it a local, national or global one. Apart from the occasional injection of currency from various countries' mints, money is not created or destroyed. What makes a successful economy is merely the constant movement of money. A recession or depression is merely the stagnation of this natural movement of money.

Phew! What a mind-blow! Now that we've got that out of the way, I would like to apply this rather simple philosophy to the current problem of the environment. The Federal Government of Australia has continually postulated that the reason for its foot-dragging regarding the environment is purely economic - we don't want to do anything that risks jobs or puts us at a competitive disadvantage to the rest of the world.

Erm, yeah, okay. The absolutely revolutionary concept that I want to put forward is that if you show leadership and invest in an industry, then the money will follow. If the government had anything other than glass balls in their scrotum, they would invest some of that $20 billion they are sitting on, and push to become one of the world leaders in renewable energy research and development. The long-term gains would far outweigh the initial investment, and that's just looking at it from an economic point of view.

I have incredible respect for the amount of investment that Germany is engaging in, mostly in the solar and wind sectors of renewable energy research and implementation. Imagine that - Germany, which gets a tiny percentage of the amount of sunlight that Australia gets, investing hugely in solar technology. Now, that's balls for you.

What is our excuse? None that I can see. To borrow from a rather forgettable Hollywood movie - "If you build it, they will come". Instead of renewable energy companies shutting down their operations here in Australia and moving elsewhere (where the political will is stronger), they would flock to our shores and help to build a powerful industry that would provide jobs, business investment and a future for us all, instead of the fossil fuel graveyard that we are currently building for ourselves.

It takes only a cursory dip into my somewhat feeble intellect to come up with further suggestions for sustainable industries that could yield incredible profits, whilst still providing much smaller ecological footprints than current destructive practices. For example, non-THC hemp plantations (THC is the psychoactive constituent of hemp that gives the "high" when smoked or otherwise ingested, but non-THC varieties of hemp are available) could replace all wood-pulp industries currently in operation. The growth rate of hemp is such that it yields much greater fiber returns per square metre with much less irrigation requirements than any tree plantations in operation. The fiber can be used to make clothing, rope, paper, even particle board and other manufactured wood products. The cost involved in migrating current manufacturing and processing equipment to hemp fiber instead of wood is minimal when the big picture is considered, and timber industry workers could be reskilled with no loss of Beige Howard's precious jobs-figures that he likes to tout as one of his government's great achievements.

One of the big problems associated with solar and wind power technologies is that they cannot provide base load power - when the sun isn't shining and when the wind isn't blowing, there's no power, right? Well, all it takes is a little bit of innovative thinking, and that's something that Australians have always prided themselves on. Battery technology is not at the point where power can be usefully stored for later consumption. However, batteries are not the only method of energy storage. For example, pumps could be run off solar/wind power during the day, pumping water up to a reservoir at the top of a hill. The water could then be released during the evenings to run turbines, thereby generating power at night. This isn't rocket science, you know, just simple engineering and application of the conservation of energy principles.

Tidal power and geothermal power are other technologies that warrant much more research because of their great potential.

For God's sake, Australia, wake up and see the sun shine. Investment in sustainable industries now will not put us at a competitive disadvantage or risk job security. To think that is pure folly, unless you are a recalcitrant backward-thinking slug whose head is still stuck back in the 1950's somewhere. The challenges of the future await us, and they should be met with the ingenuity and hard work ethic that our forefathers used to get us all to where we are now. We have been slumbering lately, and it's time to realise that the fossil fuel honeymoon is over. It is only through environmentally sustainable practices and sound judgement that we will survive it with anywhere near our current levels of wealth and ease.

I have faith in the human race to overcome the obstacles that are looming. However, without political leaders who have the will, the guts and the determination to make the hard decisions, we will be lost. The world will slowly slip into ruin, as we listen to the latest Pop Idol tune on our iPods or watch the latest tax-payer funded advertising campaign on our plasma screens, telling us that the government is "really serious" about the environment.

Environmental Issues Closer To Home

2007-10-04T20:03:00.000+10:00

Hi Ramblers,

And just in case you were wondering, because of my rather anti-Liberal government leanings of late, no - I am not a Labor man. This counts especially for you Dad, just in case you read it.

It's not like Labor has much of a track record. Let's face it - it's the Labor governments of WA, and now NSW, who have made the monumentally idiotic decision to build desalination plants as a supposed fix to our water shortages.

How the building of a $4.5 billion plant that will require almost the total output of a whole power station, and cause irreparable damage to the marine ecology in the area, is going to be in the best interests of the planet is something that I haven't quite figured out yet, but I am obviously a simpleton that doesn't have access to the incredible depths of scientific knowledge that our esteemed state leaders have.

So, what is the political solution to our woes? Neither Liberal nor Labor have had much of a stab at anything dangerous like actual policies, preferring instead to stick with tried-and-tested spin, waffling and hyperbole. The Greens, as rather well described by someone whom I forget, used to be like a watermelon - green on the outside and red on the inside, but now they are more like an avocado - hard green on the outside, soft green on the inside, with a Brown nut in the middle.

I guess the only thing we can do is to try to communicate to the leading contenders in this upcoming election that we will no longer stand for delaying tactics, smokescreens and total disregard for the ramifications of our current destructive ways. Through organisations like GetUp!, we have a chance to be part of a groundswell of popular lobbying, so I would urge that you all get up from your comfortable seats and spend a few minutes of your valuable time in contemplation and investigation of how you can empower yourself to make a difference.

I personally have had an absolute gutfull of these self-serving muppets who try to tiptoe through their terms in office, avoiding policies, decisions and controversy, letting our country slowly gurgle down the drain. Enough is enough! I am doing my small bit, in the hope that a whole lotta small bits will add up to make a big enough bit to be noticed. If I stand by and do nothing, I am as bad as those ineffective assholes who should be running our country.

Harumph!

Tas-Mania & The Art Of Pretending To Be Environmentally Responsible

2007-10-04T19:43:00.000+10:00

Greets Oh Rambling Masses,

Once again, the Federal Government of Australia has proved to be at least 100 years out of touch with the need to be environmentally sustainable and responsible in this modern age of mass consumption and destruction. I sometimes think that Beige Howard and his cronies are trying their darnedest to win the how-to-screw-the-planet-up-most award.

It's wonderful to see that the government will spend $23 million of our taxpayer dollars on an advertising blitz to show how in touch with environmental concerns they are, and then cave in to big business in one of the few unspoiled corners of the planet (Tasmania), agreeing to build a delightfully destructive pollution-machine in the shape of a pulp mill.

"Oh, but we have put safeguards in place, ensuring that it is world's best practice." Yeah, I guess that's right when you compare it to the strip-logging of Amazonian forests or the clubbing of seals, but in the broad scheme of things, it's about as anti-environmentally aware as you could possibly get. This government is one of the most out-of-touch, anachronistic dinosaurs that has ever had the incredible good fortune, due to voter ignorance and/or apathy, of leading a supposedly progressive nation in the modern age.

The decision by the environment minister Malcolm Turncoat to back the Gunns pulp mill in northern Tasmania is nothing short of environmental terrorism. I am sure that he will defend his decision by quoting "Australia's chief scientist" Dr. Jim Peacock, whose terms of reference were limited to a mere pinprick of ecological ramifications.

And to all of those proponents of the Timber Industry (Forest Rapers Inc) who claim that the pulp mill is an essential injection of jobs for hard-pressed timber workers, I have only one word for you - reskilling. Use your not-insubstantial lobbying power to suggest to the government that a modest investment in the renewable energy industry and reskilling of timber workers to be part of it will reap incredible rewards, as well as the respect of this and future generations.

Once again, thank you Beige Howard for shortsightedly considering business and the economy above everything else. In the dim, dark, smog-filled future, I must remember to track down your grandchildren and remind them that you were the asshole that fucked up our last great wilderness.

Until the next time that I breathe the acrid, pollution-filled smog that passes for air, I remain your ever-faithful ranter, oh Rambling Masses.

Don't forget to vote when the cowardly miscreant finally decides to pull an election date out of his Beige you-know-what.

Ani DiFranco - This Sums It Up Pretty Well

2007-09-25T17:09:00.000+10:00

Hi Rambling Masses,

Ani DiFranco, an American independent singer/songwriter/guitarist, is an inspiration to many feminists. To me, however, she is an inspiration because of her views concerning artistic freedom. She has consistently refused to sign to a major label, instead building (with help from friends) a small indie label of her own.

She wrote the following open letter to Ms. Magazine (an American-based feminist magazine), pointing out that her success should not be viewed in purely financial terms, but rather in artistic terms. She says it very eloquently, and I have taken the liberty of reproducing her open letter without alteration below. It rings true to much that I believe about art, capitalism and integrity.

November 5, 1997

Marcia Ann Gillespie
Editor in Chief
Ms. Magazine
135 W. 50th Street
16th Floor
New York, NY 10020

    So I'm poring through the 25th anniversary issue of Ms. (on some
airplane going somewhere in the amorphous blur that amounts to my
life) and I'm finding it endlessly enlightening and stimulating as
always, when, whaddaya know, I come across a little picture of little
me. I was flattered to be included in that issue's "21 feminists for
the 21st century" thingybob. I think ya'll are runnin the most bold
and babe-olishious magazine around, after all.

    Problem is, I couldn't help but be a little weirded out by the
paragraph next to my head that summed up her me-ness and my
relationship to the feminist continuum. What got me was that it
largely detailed my financial successes and sales statistics. My
achievements were represented by the fact that I "make more money per
album sold than Hootie and the Blowfish," and that my catalogue sales
exceed 3/4 of a million. It was specified that I don't just have my
own record company but my own "profitable" record company.  Still, the
ironic conclusion of the aforementioned blurb is a quote from me
insisting "it's not about the money." Why then, I ask myself, must
"the money" be the focus of so much of the media that surrounds me?
Why can't I escape it, even in the hallowed pages of Ms.?

    Firstly, this "Hootie and the Blowfish" business was not my
doing. The LA Times financial section wrote an article about my record
label, Righteous Babe Records, in which they raved about the business
savvy of a singer (me) who thwarted the corporate overhead by choosing
to remain independent, thereby pocketing $4.25 per unit, as opposed to
the $1.25 made by Hootie or the $2.00 made by Michael Jackson. This
story was then picked up and reprinted by The New York Times, Forbes
magazine, the Financial News Network, and (lo and behold) Ms.

    So here I am, publicly morphing into some kinda Fortune
500-young-entrepreneur-from-hell, and all along I thought I was just a
folksinger !

    Ok, it's true. I do make a much larger profit (percentage-wise)
than the Hootster. What's even more astounding is that there are
thousands of musicians out there who make an even higher profit
percentage than me! How many local, musicians are there in your
community who play gigs in bars and coffee shops about town? I bet
lots of them have made cassettes or CDS which they'll happily sell to
you with a personal smile from the edge of the stage or back at the
bar after their set. Would you believe these shrewd, profit-minded
wheeler-dealers are pocketing a whopping _100%_ of the profits on the
sales of those puppies?! Wait till the Financial News Network gets a
whiff of _them_!

    I sell approximately 2.5% of the albums that a Joan Jewelanis
Morrisette sells and get about .05% of the airplay royalties, so
obviously if it all comes down to dollars and cents, I've led a wholly
unremarkable life. Yet I choose relative statistical mediocrity over
fame and fortune because I have a bigger purpose in mind. Imagine how
strange it must be for a girl who has spent 10 years fighting as hard
as she could against the lure of the corporate carrot and the almighty
forces of capital, only to be eventually recognized by the power
structure as a business pioneer.

    I have indeed sold enough records to open a small office on the
half-abandoned main street in the dilapidated urban center of my
hometown, Buffalo, N.Y. I am able to hire 15 or so folks to run and
constantly reinvent the place while I drive around and play music for
people. I am able to give stimulating business to local printers and
manufacturers and to employ the services of independent distributors,
promoters, booking agents and publicists. I was able to quit my day
job and devote myself to what I love.

    And yes, we are enjoying modest profits these days, affording us
the opportunity to reinvest in innumerable political and artistic
endeavors.  RBR is no Warner Bros. But it is a going concern, and for
me, it is a vehicle for redefining the relationship between art and
commerce in my own life.  It is a record company which is the product
not just of my own imagination, but that of my friend and manager Scot
Fisher and of all the people who work there.  People who incorporate
and coordinate politics, art and media every day into a
people-friendly, sub-corporate, woman-informed, queer-happy small
business that puts music before rock stardom and ideology before
profit.

    And me.  I'm just a folksinger, not an entrepreneur.  My hope is
that my music and poetry will be enjoyable and/or meaningful to
someone, somewhere, not that I maximize my profit margins.  It was 15
years and 11 albums getting to this place of notoriety and, if
anything, I think I was happier way back when.  Not that I regret any
of my decisions, mind you.  I'm glad I didn't sign on to the corporate
army.  I mourn the commodification and homogenization of music by the
music industry, and I fear the manufacture of consent by the
corporately-controlled media.  Last thing I want to do is feed the
machine.

    I was recently mortified while waiting in the dressing room
before one of my own shows. Some putz suddenly takes the stage to
announce me and exclaim excitedly that this was my "largest sold-out
crowd to date!"  "Oh, really?," I'm thinking to myself, "that's
interesting...too bad it's not the point."  All of my achievements are
artistic, as are all of my failures.

    That's just the way I see it.  Statistical plateau or no.  I'll
bust ass for 60 people, or 6,000, watch me.

    I have so much respect for Ms. magazine.  If I couldn't pick it
up at newsstands my brain probably would've atrophied by now on some
trans-Atlantic flight and I would be lying limp and twitchy in a bed
of constant travel, staring blankly into the abyss of the gossip
magazines.  Ms. is a structure of media wherein women are able to
define themselves, and articulate for themselves those definitions.
We wouldn't point to 21 of the feminists moving into the 21st century
and define them in terms of "Here's Becky Ballbuster from Iowa City,
she's got a great ass and a cute little button nose..."  No ma'am.
We've gone beyond the limited perceptions of sexism and so we should
move beyond the language and perspective of the corporate patriarchy.
The Financial News Network may be ultimately impressed with me now
that I've proven to them that there's a life beyond the auspices of
papa Sony, but do I really have to prove this to _you_?

    We have the ability and the opportunity to recognize women not
just for the financial successes of their work but for the work
itself.  We have the facility to judge each other by entirely
different criteria than those is imposed upon us by the superstructure
of society.  We have a view which reaches beyond profit margins into
poetry, and a vocabulary to articulate the difference.

    Thanks for including me, Ms., really.  But just promise me one
thing; if I drop dead tomorrow, tell me my grave stone won't read:

         ani d.
         CEO.

Please let it read:

         songwriter
         musicmaker
         storyteller
         freak.


-Ani DiFranco

I doff my hat to you Ani. Thank you for your sanity in this world at-times-gone-mad.

APEC On The Cheek Part II

2007-09-25T17:00:00.000+10:00

Greets, Ramblers,

Having said what I said about APEC and the value of its achievements, I must provide a postscript that does shine a positive light on the whole thing.

Paul, Laura, Mick, Stewie, Ceals and I headed up to the Hunter Valley winery region for a rather spiffy concert - Steely Dan were playing, supported by Gangajang and World Party. A magnificent time was had by all, with much consumption of cheese, olives and goon (in white, red and sparkling varieties). The music was awesome, the weather was kind, and the picnic blanket on the grassy fields of a winery was a perfect vantage point to enjoy all of our hedonistic pleasures.

Those of us into that sort of thing went for a few wine tastings both before and after the concert, and the general consensus amongst the wineries up there was that APEC provided a much-needed injection of money to the local economy, as Sydney-siders scrambled to escape the sound of police boots and temporary fencing. In fact, it just about managed to get the region back on track after the rather devastating floods of a short while back.

So, for that, if for nothing else, APEC is to be applauded.

'Till next time.

APEC On The Cheek

2007-09-09T19:05:00.000+10:00

Hello Oh Rambling Masses,

Let me just say that I am overflowing with pride at the performance of our fine government during the APEC summit here in Sydney. What a magnificent effort. For just 300 million taxpayer dollars, the obtrusive lockdown of the CBD, significant discontent amongst the general populace, harm to the public relations standing of the police force and continued erosion of our liberties and rights, Beige Howard has been able to clinch quite a winner on the environment front.

He has been able to get the APEC-member governments to tentatively agree in principle to the initial postulation that a proposed notion of aspirational emission targets should perhaps be a possible consideration at some nebulous time in the future, just as long as it doesn't affect the continued (obscene) economic growth or prosperity of those self-same nations.

Well done, Johnny. Give yourself a big pat on the back. You've certainly far exceeded my expectations.

Welcome To The Child Killer

2007-09-05T18:41:00.000+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

This is just a quick post to mark the arrival of that great American war criminal George Dubya to our fair shores. Welcome George, and I hope that you wear your bib, because Beige Howard will be salivating all over you during your stay. It might be a good idea to wear the ice hockey shin pads too, just in case little Johnnie gets a bit too keen with the old leg-bonk.

I would like to resurrect and paraphrase an old protest chant from the Vietnam war days, if I could. Back in those days they used to sing:

Hey, hey, LBJ,
How many kids did you kill today?

It seems to me that we have not learnt a hell of a lot in the 30- or 40-odd years since then, for now we can just as validly be chanting:

Hey, hey GWB,
How many kids in your killing spree?

Keep up the good work, George, and before you know it, fundamentalist Christians will be carving the biggest slice of pie and gorging themselves on the fat of the land.

Until next time, oh Rambling Masses...

Universal Values and the Continued Evolution of Society

2007-08-24T12:53:00.000+10:00

Preface

Such a weighty title for this day's post. Perhaps a little pretentious, maybe somewhat overbearing, but I have a few concepts to present to you all that I certainly consider exciting (well, I am a creature of the mind, and intellectual constructs tend to excite me).

This essay came about as a result of the aforementioned conversation with Paul and Dave. The reason it has taken so long to write will become apparent as you, the long-suffering reader, notice the length of this essay. Bear with me, though. I am hopeful that the effort on both your part and mine will be worth it in the end.

The general aim of this essay is to break apart and study the basic structure of societies, with the particular aim of trying to define Universal Values that should be adhered to by all of humanity. I am expecting to fail in the aim of defining Universal Values, as it is a problem that has vexed the greatest thinkers of our world for millennia, but at least I hope to draw attention to the fact that said definition should be paramount in the continued evolution of society. I further postulate that continued evolution of human society can only come about through the establishment of a world society.

I would like to quote one of my favourite poets (myself) when I say that “I am an empty vessel, into which are poured my own thoughts and those of others, to ferment the broth of understanding”. As such, I would ask you as the reader of this blog to please, please, please leave your comments so that I can gain a better understanding of the universe and our place in it. Your thoughts are valued and valuable, irrespective of whether you agree with my thoughts or not.

Introduction

Humans build communities. That is a universal fact. We, like the bees and ants, are social creatures. We crave it and create it, and live in it every day.

Society is the underlying structure of these communities that we build. It is too large to be noticed most of the time. We don't think about it, absorbed in that miniscule part of society that is our lives (I have this image of Morpheus standing in front of me with those cool nose-glasses, holding a blue pill and a red pill out to me and saying “You cannot be told what Society is…”).

What we often fail to see is that our lives are shaped in a large part by the society in which we live. What we must never forget is that our society of and by itself is not perfect, in fact nowhere near it, and the reciprocal relationship is completed in that we have an obligation to effect changes in that society to help improve it for everyone.

Another important point to consider is that the world is still a much-splintered entity, and while some steps have been taken to unify disparate structures towards a greater whole, much work still needs to be done before a world society can be established. Important steps to this end in the modern age include the formation of the United Nations, the European Union, and the International War Crimes Tribunal at The Hague (though the legality and mandate of this is disputed).

As always seems to be the case, the movement towards a world society has met with much speedier progress in the fiscal arena than in the legislative, religious or ethical arenas. Globalisation has, as a result of abuses by greedy corporations, become a tainted and much maligned term. However, it should be noted that, in this humble blogsters opinion, true globalisation towards a world society (not just in the business sense) needs to take place for human beings to be able to continue their evolution, and for the betterment of the whole planet.

Society Values

Society values are a crucial part of the structure that binds us all. They define the principles by which we live. Why is it then that we do not have a clear idea of what these values are? Perhaps it is because we do not give them the attention that they deserve.

Society values are sometimes talked about (and should be talked about more). Every now and then, “Australian Values” comes up as a blip on the media radar, and politicians will be asked about them. They’ll dredge up a few tried and tested words like “Mateship”, pre-approved by their spin doctors and speech writers. They’ll visit Gallipoli or walk a few steps along the Kokoda trail, to prove that they embody these values, and then they’ll go back to what they were doing before, which is worrying about securing the next term in office. Well, there it is – it stands as a self-evident fact that we can’t rely on modern politicians to guide us on the path of defining society’s values and making sure we live by them.

So where do we turn to define the supposedly indefinable? Well, the answer to this is fairly simple in the first instance – we should turn to each other and discuss, for only then can we explore what is important to each of us and to others. Only then can we start to reclaim society in that quaint old fashion of “by the people for the people”.

Values are more than words on a page. They have to be lived and breathed each and every day of our existence, otherwise they stand for nothing. Token gestures will not do.

A (not-so)-Brief History Lesson About the Development of Society Values

The definition of societal structures and society values has made some major steps forward throughout history. Quite often, these are inextricably linked with the development of democracy, as this is the primary form of mass governance where the masses have some form of representation, and a forum for their voices to be heard. Some of these are covered below (with a nod to Wikipedia for some information).

Many Sumerian city-states in Ancient Mesopotamia (Iraq) are believed to have started with a form of democracy, but elected dictators in times of war that later kept power to become permanent monarchies.

One of the earliest instances of civilizations with democracy was found in ancient India, even during the times of the Rigveda, probably the earliest Indo-European literature and one of the most sacred books of the Hindus. The states mentioned are mostly monarchies, but with two democratic institutions called the Sabha and the Samiti. The Sabha (lit., Assembly in Sanskrit) is widely interpreted to be the assembly of the elect or the important chieftains of the tribe, while the Samiti seems to be the gathering of all the men of the tribe, convened only for very special occasions.

Athens is among the first recorded and one of the most important Western democracies in ancient times; the word "democracy" (Greek for "rule by the people") was invented by Athenians in order to define their system of government, around 508 BC, after the proposals of Cleisthenes. In the next generation, Ephialtes of Athens had a law passed severely limiting the powers of the Council of the Areopagus, which deprived the Athenian nobility of their special powers. Athenian democracy was based on selection of officials by lot. The assembly of all male citizens in Athens voted on decisions directly. Elected officials did not determine decisions — giving decision-making power to elected officials was considered by the ancient Athenians to take away the power of the people, effectively making the state an oligarchy.

The founding of the Roman Republic in 510 BC, though with a flawed constitution. After years of conflicts between the leading families and the plebeians, the plebs forced the senate to pass a written series of laws (the Twelve Tables) which recognized certain rights and gave the plebs their own representatives, the tribunes. By the 4th Century BC, the plebs were given the right to stand for consulship and other major offices of the state.

The Magna Carta is an English charter issued in the year 1215. Magna Carta is arguably the most significant early influence on the extensive historical process that led to the rule of constitutional law today. Magna Carta influenced many common law and other documents, such as the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights, and is considered one of the most important legal documents in the history of democracy.

Renaissance humanism was a cultural movement in Europe beginning in central Italy (particularly Florence) in the last decades of the 14th century. It revived and refined the study of language (first Latin, and then the Greek language by mid-century), science, philosophy, art and poetry of classical antiquity. The "revival" was based on interpretations of Roman and Greek texts. Their emphasis on art and the senses marked a great change from the medieval values of humility, introspection, and passivity.

Many countries have a constitution, written by their “founding fathers”, to guide the societal structure.

The Geneva Conventions were set up to define standards for international law relating to humanitarian concerns. These four treaties primarily cover the treatment of non-combatants and prisoners of war. The adoption of the First Convention followed the foundation of the International Committee of the Red Cross in 1863. In the modern age, 194 countries have ratified the Geneva Convention, which requires all signatory states to enact sufficient national laws to make grave violations of the Conventions a punishable criminal offence. Unfortunately, recent actions by the United States in particular has brought into the spotlight the difference between living the law and merely paying lip service to it.

Interpol is the International Criminal Police Organization. It was established in 1923 to facilitate international police co-operation. 186 countries are members of Interpol. In order to maintain as politically neutral a role as possible, Interpol's constitution forbids its involvement in crimes that do not overlap several member countries, or in any political, military, religious, or racial crimes. Its work focuses primarily on public safety, terrorism, organised crime, war crimes, illicit drug production, drug trafficking, weapons smuggling, trafficking in human beings, money laundering, child pornography, white-collar crime, computer crime, Intellectual Property crime and corruption. Whilst not having any direct responsibility for the definition of society values, it is an important step towards a world society police force, and provides a model for the crucial requirement of law enforcement on a global scale.

Guiding Forces Within Society

There are certain guiding forces within our society that stop it from splintering into anarchy and chaos. Not all of these forces are positive. As far as I have been able to determine, these forces fall into the following categories:

The rule of law
The Constitution (for those countries lucky enough to have one)
Civic responsibility
Religion
An often undefined and unspoken set of values
Science
Empathy and altruism
The natural human urge to form communities
Common goals
Freedom/Opportunity
Racial dynamism
Social dynamism
Apathy
Ignorance
Fear
Greed

Positive Guiding Forces

The rule of law

The rule of law is the principle that governmental authority is legitimately exercised only in accordance with written, publicly disclosed laws adopted and enforced in accordance with established procedure. The principle is intended to be a safeguard against arbitrary governance.

The contrast between the rule of men and the rule of law is first found in Plato's Statesman and Laws and Aristotle's Politics, where the rule of law implies both obedience to positive law and formal checks and balances on rulers and magistrates. As defined by Plato, the rule of law is grounded in divine reason and so inherent in the natural order. It continues to be important as a normative ideal, even as legal scholars struggle to define it. Thomas Aquinas (an Italian Roman Catholic priest in the 1200s) defined a valid law as being one that:

Is in keeping with Reason
Was established by a proper authority
Is for the purpose of achieving good
Was properly communicated to all.

In my opinion, the rule of law should exist to enforce a well-defined value set, and to protect the members of society from anti-social and illegal activities. One of the most important parts of the rule of law is that there should be provision for constant vigilance, self-checks and the ability to reform laws by society members in order to ensure that legislative acts do not transform into prejudicial or authoritarian tools. As such, the rule of law should be adhered to, but constantly questioned to ensure its validity.

The Constitution

A Constitution defines the fundamental political principles, and establishes the structure, procedures, powers and duties of a government. Most national Constitutions also guarantee certain rights to the people.

As with the rule of law, Constitutions should be adhered to, but constantly questioned to ensure their validity.

Civic responsibility

The concept of civic responsibility at times borders on some of the socio-political ideals of communism and socialism. As a member of a civil society, it is the responsibility of those members to ensure that their actions or inactions do not run counter to the continued well-being of the society at large.

There are essentially two models for civic responsibilities – voluntary and forced. Depending on the nature of the responsibility, the importance to and impact on societal structures, and the willingness of suitable numbers within the community to take up the responsibility, either one or the other model should be applied.

For example, it is my opinion that if you are able to work, you should do so. I consider this to be a civic responsibility. Either through the direct fruits of your labours or through the taxation of income derived from those labours, you help to support the society that supports you and people who are unable to work.

If you are unable to work, then provision should be made through welfare structures to support you until such a time (if ever) as you are able to contribute in a meaningful way to society. It is my opinion that a vast majority of people who claim to be unable to contribute are incorrect in this assumption, and are doing so only because of laziness or some other personal defect. If you are able to work and choose not to do so, that is okay, just don’t expect the public purse to pick up the tab. In this instance, I see no problem with a forced civic responsibility model being applied, as shown in the “Work for the Dole” scheme currently in place in Australia.

Volunteerism is also a major part of civic responsibility, for there are many services and structures in society that rely on donations of time, money and labour from people “out of the goodness of their hearts”. The nature of the voluntary work can be as diverse as forming or joining a community group to bring arts and craft to the masses, becoming a volunteer fire fighter, or helping out in a soup kitchen for the homeless.

Major motivations for volunteerism include the following:

To help others in the community
To do something worthwhile
Personal satisfaction from doing something good
A way to be active
To learn new skills
To gain work experience
To use existing skills or experience.

Religion

Religion is a very complex guiding force in society. To a great many people, it provides a fundamental (and for a few, a fundamentalist) view on moral issues of right and wrong, rights and responsibilities.

Some of the most important guiding principles of morality can be found in the holy books of the religions of the world. As such, they are an essential part of the societal structure that holds us together, despite the friction between the major monotheistic religions that constantly seems to see us teetering on the edge of oblivion and fracture.

Problems can also often arise in the interpretation of the written word, no matter how well intended the original principles were. For example, the conflict between Sharia law practised by Muslims in non-Muslim countries has led to much trouble and misunderstanding. A full discussion of the issues related to the interplay of religious and societal forces is outside the scope of this essay, so I will refrain from delving too deeply into this. Frankly, it would double the size of this already long essay, and I am scared to dig too deeply into something that I personally do not ascribe to, being an agnostic individual who believes that to question is much more important than to blindly accept the status quo on faith alone.

To be harshly analytical, I believe that religion is often more about mass population control and power than it is about the guiding light of virtue illuminating our path through life. Radicalisation and fundamentalism in the three major monotheistic religions of the world seem to be on the rise, adversely affecting the stability of societies everywhere.

An often undefined and unspoken set of values

As alluded to in the section on society values above, there seem to be an often undefined and unspoken set of values that guides out societies. These have been evolving for as long as the first two people decided to stick together in the mists of antiquity. They continue to evolve, and what one generation sees as the right and proper values to live their lives by is not necessarily that which other generations see (or even recognise).

One of the biggest gripes I have about the Political Correctness movement of the past 20 years or so is their blind assumption that the past should be sanitised and history rewritten to fit the current age. Well, I say that this is one of the greatest evils in society, since we can never measure where we are or map out where we wish to be if we do not acknowledge or have knowledge of where we came from.

By recognising the skeletons in our closet, we move that one step closer to ensuring that we do not endlessly repeat the mistakes of the past. Another way to ensure continued evolution of societal structures is to engage in open discussion and investigation of these often undefined and unspoken value sets.

Science

The Scientific Method, which underpins all of science, is a body of techniques for investigating phenomena and acquiring new knowledge, as well as for correcting and integrating previous knowledge. It is based on gathering observable, empirical and measurable evidence subject to specific principles of reasoning, the collection of data through observation and experimentation, and the formulation and testing of hypotheses.

Although procedures vary from one field of inquiry to another, identifiable features distinguish scientific inquiry from other methodologies of knowledge. Scientific researchers propose hypotheses as explanations of phenomena, and design experimental studies that test these hypotheses for accuracy. These steps must be repeatable in order to predict dependably any future results. Theories that encompass wider domains of inquiry may bind many hypotheses together in a coherent structure. This in turn may assist in the formation of new hypotheses, as well as in placing groups of hypotheses into a broader context of understanding.

Among other facets shared by the various fields of inquiry is the conviction that the process must be objective to reduce a biased interpretation of the results. Another basic expectation is to document, archive and share all data and methodology so it is available for careful scrutiny by other scientists, thereby allowing other researchers the opportunity to verify results by attempting to reproduce them. This practice, called "full disclosure", also allows statistical measures of the reliability of these data to be established.

A true scientist is every bit as happy regardless of whether a properly conducted experiment disproves his life’s work or proves it. The search for more accurate hypotheses and theories, for more complete knowledge, is the paramount goal.

Now, I am a man of science. There is no denying that. I wholeheartedly embrace the basic defining principles of the scientific method, which value the constant quest for greater understanding. Through questioning everything around us, rather than making blind assumptions, we slowly and painfully improve our body of knowledge. This is the greatest differentiator that I see between religion and science.

There is some pressure in modern society because of a gradual move away from religion by many societal members. One criticism of science is that it has bred a godless horde of people who have nothing left to believe in. This is a short-sighted and incorrect view in my opinion.

I am however enough of a sceptic and realist to acknowledge that science does not hold all of the answers. A world without magic and mysticism is indeed a cold one, and as with everything in life, it is all about balance.

Empathy and altruism

The dictionary says it best – empathy is the ability to enter fully, through imagination, into another’s feelings or motives, into the meaning of a work of art, etc. Altruism is the unselfish devotion to the interests and welfare of others, especially as a principle of action.

Through empathy and altruism, we are able to transcend the borders of our selves and identify with other people. They act as a foil to the inherent selfishness that exists within us all. As such, this is one of the most fundamental driving forces of society. Without empathy and altruism, a collective of high-mental-function creatures would be impossible

The natural human urge to form communities

As alluded to in the introductory section above, humans have a natural urge to form communities. Whatever the psychological or biological drivers behind it, this is an irrefutable fact. “No man is an island” describes it well.

An important part of forming communities is to come to some agreement about the societal rules and structures that must inevitably exist to ensure continued togetherness.

Common goals

Even vastly disparate peoples can come together and form a societal structure if they have common goals that require the combination of people, knowledge, resources or other elements to achieve them. This can be particularly important in the early stages of society formation, but should not be discounted in any established societal or sub-societal structures.

Freedom/Opportunity

The principles of freedom and opportunity are important forces in any society. As a driver for change or revolution, there is nothing like the lack of either to wake the masses from their slumber and force change, hopefully for the better. Depending on the interplay of other forces within the society in question, the drive for change can come quite quickly or take generations to gather momentum.

As shall be outlined later in this essay, the right to freedom and opportunity is a core Universal Value that should be codified and defended at all costs.

Racial dynamism & Social dynamism

Racial dynamism and Social dynamism are important factors not to be discounted. Different racial and social groups have differing levels of what is referred to as either racial or social dynamism. Some groups have a natural tendency to laze about in the sunshine, whilst others have a natural tendency to strive for their goals. These important differences should never be ignored when considering the underlying structure of societies.

It should further be realised that knowledge of racial and social dynamism is stereotypical in nature, and should not be applied blindly without consideration of individual factors, nor should it be applied blindly without consideration of other societal forces.

Negative Guiding Forces

The negative forces that hold society together are every bit as powerful as the positive forces, and are often used by unscrupulous societal governmental structures to ensure compliance when values are being eroded. A fine case in point is the current campaign of fear mongering amongst the Coalition of the Killing, justifying erosion of our personal liberties by constantly reminding us that the terrorist wolves are at the door, baying for our blood.

Apathy

Apathy is the lack of interest or desire for activity. The general malaise of people when confronted by obstacles or societal problems (which may or may not be greater than themselves) is directly attributable to apathy. Too often as individuals, we become so entrenched in our ways of thinking and in our self-centredness, too indifferent to the state of affairs, that we neglect to care as much as we should about the big picture or those around us. “Ah well, there’s nothing I can do about it, so I may as well not bother” is one of the greatest injustices on the face of the planet, for we should all realise that, given just the slightest latitude of freedom, we are empowered to affect the world around us and effect change.

Ignorance

Ignorance or lack of education also holds sway as a guiding force for society. In an ideal world, a society would be peopled exclusively by members able to apply knowledge, reason and wisdom in the formation and application of the rules that govern it. In the real world, the complex decisions required to ensure the health and fairness of a society are too often governed by misinformed and self-seeking motives, to the detriment of all.

In both democratic and undemocratic societies, unimportant issues are often brought to the fore in order to mask the more difficult issues that governing bodies fear to tackle, and people are deliberately kept ignorant in order to retain the governing bodies’ unrivalled power.

Those in the know are all too aware that the last 3 or 4 elections in Australia have been fought on issues totally unimportant or beyond the realistic control of the political parties engaged in their usual triennial tussle for power. Whether or not John Howard will still remain as Prime Minister after the election, and whether or not Interest Rates would be higher under a liberal or labor government are absolutely trivial issues that act as a smokescreen when no real policies of note exist. Elections should be fought with clear policies that constructively address problems within society, not with hyperbole, invectives and trifling issues. The unfortunate truth is that ignorance allows governing bodies to get away with it.

Ignorance has a wider role to play as a guiding force for society than just during election times in democratic nations. An ignorant populace is not able to clearly identify and voice objections to unjust society structures, and so, as Shakespeare’s Iago says – “…will as tenderly be led by the nose as asses are.”

Fear

Fear is one of the primal driving forces within us all. People living in fear are easily subjugated by careful manipulation of the understanding and application of that fear. Authoritarian governments use fear directly as a bludgeon to keep people under control. Surely Hitler’s Nazi regime would not have continued to hold power for so long, were it not for the absolute power to spread fear that the SS and the Gestapo were able to wield on their own people and their enemies. Communist governments, as with all forms of authoritarianism, used fear in a similar fashion.

A more subtle use of fear as a driving force in society has reared its ugly head in modern times, though it has always been used in one form or another to keep the masses under control. During the Cold War, the democracies of the world touted Communists as the great boogieman, and were able to carry out misdeeds of epic proportions in order to “protect” us. When the Cold War ended, much thought was given to finding a new boogieman. With the events of 9-11, the new boogieman was served on a silver platter to the propaganda machines of the world – Terrorists.

As the “clear and present danger” of terrorist threats continues to loom like a dark cloud over our heads, our fear is fed by devious governments to justify the on-going erosion of our liberty and other society values. Keep them scared, and they will let you get away with such blights on society as the Patriot Act in the United States, or sedition and anti-terrorism laws here in Australia.

When (or if) the terrorist threat is ever neutralised, a new boogieman will be sought by the governments of the world, to justify their blatant shredding of society values.

Greed

Another of the driving forces within society is that of greed. It is responsible for a great conflict between the haves and have-nots throughout the world, both on an individual level and on a global level.

Gordon Gekko, in the 1980s film Wall Street, states the following:

"Greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms, greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind."

Gordon Gekko is wrong – greed is not good. However, whether we like it or not, it seems likely that it will never be eradicated from our collective psyche. It is an oft-presented maxim that if you were to redistribute all of the wealth in the world equally, it wouldn’t take long before the same old inequalities re-established themselves, and this is perhaps not too far from the truth.

However, for as long as greed is such a powerful driving force in society, for as long as the developed countries of the world continue to live beyond their means, for as long as unsustainable practices are engaged to ensure obscene profits, no lasting peace can be achieved.

Individual Guiding Forces Within Society

There are also individual guiding forces that drive each and every one of us, usually in concordance with the societal forces, but sometimes in opposition to them. These guiding forces fall into the following categories:

Personal philosophy/ethics and morality/life view
Religious beliefs
Values of right and wrong learned throughout an individual’s life
Biological and psychological feedback from pleasure/pain circuitry
Personality
Mood
Desires
Empathy and altruism
Personal drive (or dynamism)
Quest for Wealth and Power

All of the individual guiding forces are shaped by a complex interplay of forces both internal and external to the individual.

I will not deal with the above individual guiding forces within society in a detailed manner, as they should be self-explanatory, and also in order to keep this essay short (yeah right!).

Countries of the World, Unite!

Let me first start with what my definition of a country is. A country is an artificial construct that hinders the continued evolution of the world community.

The natural evolution of communities starts with a small group of people, who then go on to form a village. This village grows to be a town, or even a city. Support structures develop to keep pace with the growth of the community. Eventually, a number of separate town communities will join to form a province. This evolution continues until the community has grown to be a country.

It is my considered opinion that the evolution of society should not stop there. The countries of the world should unite to form a world community, for we are all one people.

Flag-waving nationalism can be a force for great harm in the world, where the interests of one group are held to be more important than the interests of another. Too often, it is used as an excuse to wage war on others. The inertia of the status quo and the resistance to new ideas are holding us back. The rich and developed countries of the world continue to live beyond their means, cutting ever larger slices out of the pie.

This is a fundamental problem and stumbling block. The pie (or world, to really drive home this particular metaphor) is only so big. It cannot grow beyond certain physical limits. When some parts of the world community continue to glut themselves on pieces of pie too big for them, then the rest of the world community suffers. This inequality must be addressed in order to ensure the betterment of all.

The evolution of the world community does not mean that we must give up all that we are, nor does it mean that we must forget the path that has been followed through history to get us to where we are. We should be proud of our differences, enshrining them in our hearts, but these differences should never be seen as a justification for the repression of others.

The establishment of a Universal Value set is in my opinion the one and only thing that will safeguard the rights and responsibilities of individuals and composite communities in the slow and painful evolution of the world community.

One of the greatest challenges that lays ahead is not just in the definition of Universal Values, but in gaining worldwide acceptance of them. Without the power to enforce the Universal Values, they will not mean anything, and for this to happen, the plethora of independent societies within the world must give up their sovereign rights and accede to the greater power. This is a difficult undertaking, fraught with much danger and many obstacles, but one well worth the effort.

An Attempt to Define Some of the Universal Values

It is my belief that there exists a Universal Value set that can be applied to all humans, regardless of sex, race, creed, beliefs, orientation or circumstance. Certain Universal Values are beyond discrimination and preferential treatment. I further postulate that it is our obligation to try to explore and develop our conceptualisation of these Universal Values, and then to work towards having them enshrined in our societies.

Any attempt to define Universal Values must recognise that there are two sides to the coin – rights and responsibilities. Any societal structure worth its salt must have as its basis the provision of human rights to all human beings. For this structure to be stable, these rights must be paid for with responsibilities.

Unfortunately, the cynic within me looks at the list of Universal Values below and sees them as somewhat naïve and unrealistic. However, I would like to counter that by kicking the cynic in the balls and showing him that defining and living by our principles is all-important if we are to progress in our evolution as social creatures. It is not naïve to believe that we can become more than we currently are.

The world society should have, as a minimum, the following Universal Values:

To engage all society members in the definition of Universal Values
To clearly communicate the Universal Values to all
To question continuously the validity, fairness and application of the Universal Values
To uphold and protect the rights of all
To ensure responsibilities are met in a fair and equitable manner
To mediate in matters of conflict and effect a resolution
To apply knowledge, wisdom and fairness in all its dealings
To act as custodians and protectors of this planet and its diverse ecologies
To manage the needs of society and weigh this against the costs
To spread joy, happiness and fulfilment
To set goals
To lead by example

Every human being should have, as a minimum, the following rights and responsibilities:

To claim their rights and pay for it with their responsibilities
To live free and with opportunity
To explore and develop their own consciousness
To pursue their dreams
To believe as their conscience requires in matters of faith
To address wrongs within their own society without fear of retribution
To question
To voice objections
To respect the rights of others to believe differently
To take responsibility for their actions

I would appreciate comments from anyone and everyone who reads this essay, so that I may broaden my understanding of life. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

The Art of Conversation

2007-08-12T07:42:00.000+10:00

Top of the morning, Rambling Masses,

An evening about a week ago saw a fine conversation between my two favourite sparring partners (Dave and Paul) and myself. There's a lot to be said for the intellectual stimulation that can arise from disparate views, and I am very fond of the fact that I have a number of fundamental differences of opinion to those of my erstwhile companions.

It is through conversation, discussion and consideration that we are able to not only discover how other people view the world in which we live, but just as importantly to put our own views under the microscope and test them in the cauldron of point and counterpoint. Since the days of the ancient Greeks, and probably a lot earlier than that, people have engaged in intellectual sparring in an attempt to broaden their knowledge and to better understand their existence.

One of the most important and humbling things in life is to realise that you don't know everything, that you are not correct in all the views that you hold so dear. I paraphrase a Buddhist ideal by saying that one's beliefs should be built as a house of cards, so that any valid wind of doubt can knock them down.

Through this constant process of construction and deconstruction, the aim is to never close your mind to new thoughts, ideas, concepts and beliefs. Never be too sure in your beliefs, people. Never be afraid to quest for further knowledge.

This is one of the principles that I hold so dear in science. The overall progress of the scientific method has been a constant process of hypothesis and refinement of theories. A true scientist will be just as pleased to be shown test results that disprove a theory they may have spent their whole lives on, no more or less so than if the results validated the theory.

Now I don't know how much time the average Joe or Jane out there in the Rambling Masses spends on the intellectual process of thinking about the verities of the world around us. I happen to spend a lot of time engaged in that particular pursuit, as I consider it one of the most important things in life. Much more important, in fact, than tearing through life at the breakneck speed that is so a part of the modern developed world, much more important than gathering material objects around me, much more important than counting my money. I try not to fall into the modern fallacy of preferring quantity to quality, and instead I try to deliberately slow my life down, because rushing around is never conducive to good and structured thinking, and that is what is required if you ever want to tackle the philosophical nature of our existence.

This is also why I have not been able to put together a blog post on the matters that Paul, Dave and I discussed. It's coming though, when I have had a chance to devote the proper respectful analysis to it, and constructed suitable words to present it to the two (or perhaps even three) people out there in Ramble Land who actually take the trouble to skim through my blog.

Until next time - take care, and remember to always question.

Kevin Andrews, Minister for Incarcegration

2007-07-17T20:24:00.000+10:00

Tongue in cheek, oh Rambling Masses,

I offer you this little picture that I whipped up of our esteemed Minister for Incarcegration, Kevin Andrews... I can hear the Federal Police coming up the drive already...

Oh, and I'd like to get dibs on coining the new word "incarcegration". I hope it will stick.

Shock Jockularities

2007-07-17T11:38:00.000+10:00

Greets, oh Rambling Masses,

Today marks the day that one of the airwaves' most annoying excrescences is laid to rest, and I for one couldn't be happier. Stan Zemanek, as a garden-variety right-wing racist ignorant redneck Shock Jock, has been spreading his particular message of hate and intolerance to the vapid suburban masses that actually buy into that kind of crap for way too long.

Now you may think that I am breaking a taboo, speaking ill of the dead and all. Or you may think that I am breaking a taboo because he died of a brain tumor. You may even think that my taboo-breaking ways are because one shouldn't speak ill of people who now have no way to defend themselves, and that's your prerogative.

However, I feel that he has it coming to him, considering the number of years he stopped sane educated people from putting their counterpoints across on-air, with his constant insults and judicious use of the call off button. So, here goes.

We live in a country of free speech (kind of), and so everyone should be allowed to voice their opinions. However, I take issue with this when there is a manifest inequality of the power that people have to spread their message. It should fall on media outlets to show at least a modicum of duty of care to ensure that the messages being beamed into our homes, offices and cars are not overly and overtly prejudicial, detrimental, inciteful, or otherwise based on crass misinformation. But then, I haven't believed in the integrity of the press or media for a long time, if ever I did in the first place.

When people (and I use the term loosely) like Stan Zemanek and Alan Jones continue to spread their messages of hate with impunity, I get a little peeved. Self regulation sure as heck isn't doing the job for the industry, and the government isn't doing much either. This is odd, considering the government is currently engaged in a systematic process of erosion of our basic rights, all in the name of fighting terror. Who knows, one day I may get a knock on the door from the Federal Police, inviting me to a quiet chat in a small room without charges being laid for an extended period, and without relatives being told of my whereabouts. Hey, it's all legal with the new anti-terror laws and sedition laws.

And if a court does finally get to hear about it and then clears me of any wrong-doing, or at least releases me in the interim, then they can always revoke my citizenship and shove me in a detention centre. It's all sounding very Guantanamo Bay to me, but what do I know?

Anyway, I digress. Every man and his dog comes out of the woodwork and vigorously jumps all over Sheikh al-Hilali when he once again puts his slippered foot in his mouth and spreads his particular brand of hate message, but when Alan Jones does it, he gets a mild slap from the Australian Communications and Media Authority, and it's back to business as usual.

The ACMA findings stated that Jones was in breach of the broadcasting codes and encouraged violence and vilification against people on the basis of their ethnicity when he added his two cents worth during the Cronulla riot dust-up. Was he at any point called to task over this, and made to accept responsibility for his actions? No. Idiot Shock Jocks like him continue to spread their hateful ignorant statements to the dullards that listen and lap it up (and believe me, there are more of them out there than you think). Sedition? No, not on your nelly. Regard and respect for the disproportionate power that they have in the community? Naaaah, of course not.

Jones gets "punished" to the following extent:

The Communications Minister Helen Coonan described Jones as an outstanding broadcaster who had made an "indelible" mark on the industry. She supports Jones ahead of the statutory authority (the ACMA) she is supposed to back.

Jones will continue to entertain our esteemed leader John Howard on his program. Little Beige won't argue with his views. And don't think that the Little Media Whore (Kevin Rudd) is any better - he wants to suck up to someone with such a big audience just as much as the next fellow. 350,000 listeners in marginal electorates is a lot of pull.

So, all I can get out of the passing of Stan Zemanek is that, thankfully, there is one less Shock Jock in the world, and good riddance, I say.

Until next time, oh Rambling Masses, unless the Federal Police get me first. If you ever see that I haven't posted to my blog in over a month, just send a chocolate cake with a file in it, and I will try to make the most of it...

Value For Money In A Valueless World

2007-06-29T15:10:00.000+10:00

Greets to you oh Masses of the Rambling kind,

You know that you are getting old when you start to complain about the price of things. For a start, we shouldn't be complaining at all, being spoiled brat children of the capitalist consumer first world, but hey, sometimes you just have to speak your mind, even if the complaints are not entirely justified.

Yes, you guessed it kids, it's time for another rant. This time, I am aiming my vocabulary gun at the rising tide of ripoffs that surround us every day. What with the vast tsunami of cheap low-quality imports from China downgrading our quality values, the flow-on effect seems to be far-reaching indeed.

The straw that broke the camel's back and led to this rant was the ticket prices for Tori Amos. Hey, I like her music - I saw her show back in the Little Earthquakes early days, and it rates as one of my favourite concerts ever. However, her new tour has ticket prices at a hefty $120 a pop. Erm, did I miss something, or is she really something more than just a girl with a piano? It can't be that expensive to transport and re-tune that thing (the piano, not the girl).

The only person I would ever pay $120 to see would be Jesus doing his Magic Tricks Revival Tour. And yet, this ticket price seems to be the norm for big acts. Even local acts with pretensions of grandeur seem to command ticket prices of $60 plus. Ridiculous in my opinion.

Obviously the vast majority of people in Australia seem to have way too much disposable income. I can't see any other reason for such stupidly expensive prices being charged. I personally blame the electricians and plumbers of Australia for earning way too much money, and driving up the prices of beer at our local drinking holes. $4.20 for a schooner of beer. Do me a bloody favour!

Maybe it was the olympics that did it. Sydney always used to have a bit of a superiority complex. The olympics only seems to have made it worse. The olympics, contrary to popular belief, does not bring any good whatsoever. They spark a vast spending spree on venues that no-one will ever use again, create a brief euphoric couple of weeks where doped-up super-athletes roam the streets and bang anything that moves, and then Starbucks moves in afterwards with their oh-so-ethically-incorrect beverage joints. The hotels and bars that hiked their prices up during this time of blissful ignorance suddenly realise that they can get away with inflated prices all of the time, and the general populace pays for it from that time onwards. Delightful, and true capitalism at its finest.

A classic example of rank over charging happened to my good lady wife and I recently. Due to a mixup with non-existent leftovers, we decided to give the newly refurbished Berowra Hotel a crack for their bistro meals. Gone are the days of $12 or $15 meals or, dare I even suggest, the halcyon days of $8-10 counter meals. The average meal was $20+, but in the spirit of adventure, and since we eat out only about 10 times a year, we decided what the hey, and bit the bullet.

Celia ordered the atlantic salmon fillet, and I ordered chicken green curry. Despite me ending up with a red curry instead of what I actually ordered, I swallowed my desire to bring this to their attention. It was very fortunate that I swallowed this, as it made up for the paltry size of the meal. It was one of those nouveau cuisine serving sizes - more a scale model of a meal than an actual meal in itself. My red curry was a bit of red slop in the bottom of the massive bowl, with a finely sculpted minaret of rice, and three bok choi leaves balanced precariously on top. Celia's atlantic salmon was wafer thin, and if it weighed in at 100 grams, I would have been very surprised.

Don't get me wrong - these tiny morsels were actually quite delicious, and if they came in anything but a child's entree size, I would be back there like a shot, ready to eat to my heart's content. But to pay that amount of money for something that you eat and then say "Right, I'm ready to eat now" is a bit of a joke.

And so, I continue to remain on the border of the capitalist consumer world, dipping into it only when I have to (and doing so begrudgingly), contributing as little as possible to a system that I despise. It's funny really, that I take such great inspiration from a Jewel song - "Life Uncommon". I have applied it to everything that I hate in the modern world. People who know me passably well may consider me to be a bit of a miser with my money, but this is not the case at all. I do it not because there is some kind of Scottish blood coursing through my veins. I do it because I despise the consumer culture and economic growth above all reason (you know, all that shit that John Howard continuously espouses).

I do it because I hate that the people of the world are killed and kept deliberately in poverty to feed our insatiable appetites. Instead of falling into the mass-media-fed world where happiness can be bought as long as you have the right credit cards and shop at the right places, I follow my Jewel mantra to the letter and apply it to capitalism:

Set down your chains
And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that
Which you wish to be free from

Wild And Wooly Weather And Councils Not So Green

2007-06-14T11:53:00.000+10:00

Greets to you, Rambling Masses,

I am feeling particularly lucky at the moment. If Dirty Harry told me he couldn't remember whether he'd fired 6 shots or only 5, I'd probably make a run for it and take my chances. There must indeed be Irish blood coursing through my veins.

The reason for my feelings of luck stem from the recent storm on Friday night. Ceals and I were off enjoying the hospitality of Mick that night, as the circle of friends gathered to celebrate the Queen's birthday. After said jocularities, we got home late at night, and went straight off to bed. The next morning, I get up and find that our 12-metre plus pine tree had decided enough was enough, and had collapsed during the storm. The lucky bit is that it missed our house by about 2 metres. The only damage is a huge gaping hole in the ground and a collapsed retaining wall.

Living in the verdant wilderness that is Berowra, I called Hornsby Shire Council to get some assistance in getting rid of the mountain of green waste that my hand saw and flagging strength produced.

I requested a kerbside pickup (as a rate-payer, I am entitled to said service a number of times a year, free of charge). Imagine my surprise when the smiling voice at the other end of the phone said that green waste (branches, leaves and such) is not included in the kerbside pickup service! Unbelievable that we live in "The Bushland Shire", and council refuse to provide basic services such as this. I went on to the Blacktown City Council site, and sure enough, they provide a maximum of 12 kerbside pickups per year free of charge to the rate payer, and green waste is included, as long as it is cut into 1.5 metre lengths and tied up in neat bundles.

I don't like Hornsby Shire Council much at the moment - they seem to be a very inefficient and useless organisation, and are much more expensive rates-wise than Blacktown, yet provide fewer services. In my new spirit of not letting these things ride, and in my new-found desire to make a difference, however small, in my community, I sent an email off to the three councillors that are responsible for my ward area.

This email will hopefully not fall on deaf ears, but hey, I am not holding my breath. Since our green bins get collected fortnightly, I am expecting to spend the next 6 months living on top of a mountain of green (well, brown after the first month).

Here are some photos of the mighty fallen. It doesn't look near as impressive with all of the side branches lopped off...

I am posting the email on my blog, because I would like to think that it may encourage others to not just sit back and complain, but instead to use that democratic voice we all have to try and effect change for the better.

Dear Sir/Madams,

I hope that this email finds you all well. I am writing in regard to the green waste services of Hornsby Shire Council, which I consider to be somewhat sub-standard. In particular, I refer to services for Ward A, as I am a Berowra Heights resident. I hope that you will be able to provide some feedback regarding this issue.

First and foremost, there is no denying that the Hornsby Shire Council area is indeed a verdant bushland shire, something to be treasured not just for its beauty but also for its role in providing valuable habitat for wildlife. Understandably, this green reputation that Hornsby Shire Council has should be protected. This council has some of the toughest tree preservation policies, making it very difficult for residents to obtain permission for the felling of trees, something that I do not necessarily consider a bad thing.

However, I feel that the support services for green waste disposal do not reflect the ocean of green in which we live. The recent advertising campaign introducing Hornsby Council's recycling mascots "The Bin Crew" are a great move in improving awareness of your services, but it left me wondering why more is not being done. I have no issue with the garbage bins - I would struggle to fill the smaller-sized red-lidded bin with refuse even if it remained uncollected for two months. Similarly, the yellow-lidded recycling bins are fine, with fortnightly collection keeping up with our environmentally aware household's recyclables.

The green-lidded bins are however a major problem for me, and for many other residents in the area. Fortnightly collection of green waste is just not often enough for as green an area as Hornsby Shire Council. I would easily be able to fill up the green bin if it were collected weekly. I would humbly request that you take this feedback on board and consider changing the fortnightly collection to a weekly collection.

Another problem that I wish to discuss is related to the recent storm that hit our area on Friday 8th June. A large 12-metre-plus pine tree toppled in our backyard, and whilst I am grateful that it missed our house (though only by a matter of metres), I find the problem of disposal of this great quantity of green waste to be problematic in the extreme. I called Hornsby Council to arrange for a kerbside pickup, only to be informed that green waste is not included as part of this service.

I find this to be extremely unusual, considering that it would take me some 3 or 4 months to dispose of the branches through the only means currently available to me - the council's green bins. I was informed that the area had not been declared a state of emergency, and as such, no additional funding was available for removal of fallen trees if said trees fall on private property.

The council area in which I grew up (Blacktown City Council) provides up to 12 household cleanups per year at no extra fee to the rate payer, and they allow green waste to be included in this cleanup. Please note the following extract from their website:

Bundle tree cuttings in manageable bundles of length up to 1.5 metres. Please bundle thorny branches such as Bougainvilleas or Roses so that thorns are not a hazard to our collection staff

Hornsby Shire Council, as well as being very green, also has the dubious honour of having one of the more expensive rates-levels in the greater Sydney area. I was naively expectant that we would be getting something more for our money.

Considering the ease with which green waste can be disposed of by large council bodies, as well as its usefulness in being processed for by-products such as mulch, I had hoped that more would be done to address this matter. It is surely in everyone's best interests to reduce the amount of dry wood and leaf waste both for the sake of bushfire hazard reduction and to reduce pest infestations.

I look forward to your reply. Thanks in advance for your consideration of this matter.

Why Do I Rant?

2007-06-07T10:23:00.000+10:00

Greetings and salutations to you, oh Rambling Masses,

The title of this post is a question I have been asking myself lately. Why do I rant? Strangely enough, this question has a very simple answer - if I don't rant, then I am one of those 80 or 90% of the population that just sticks their heads in buckets of sand, ignoring the injustices around us. I can't do that, despite the fact that thinking about these things brings me some pain, sends my blood a-boiling and causes not a little depression.

The alternative (sand bucketing) is far worse in my opinion. If enough of a groundswell can build up, then maybe we might just be able to change things for the better. I'd like to thank Richard Neville for his wonderful blogs (see links to other sites on the right hand side of my blog to visit his). They are chilling, challenging, gruesome reading, but there is the constant glimmer of hope in there as well. Hope is something that I had recently lost sight of, and his insightful words have helped me to see that there are more of us out there than I thought. Celia, Paul and Dave also played a major role in making me see this new light. Thank you all.

What a brave new world we live in. It used to be the case that politicians would kiss babies to woo the electorate. Now we live in a world where Beige Howard, Dubya and Blair Witch (and the carbon copy replacing him) don't kiss babies. Instead, they kill babies, and then cover it up. Iraqi and Afghani civilians are dying in droves, much worse than when the Taliban or Saddam were at the wheel. The nation that gave us two atomic bomb hits on civilian populations just over 60 years ago (proving them to be the worst terrorists of all), are up to their old tricks, and I am left to ponder how this came about, and even more importantly, how they are allowed to get away with it.

Are we so anaesthetised in our self-centred lives, worrying about our wallets and all of those pretty things we own, that we are incapable of divining a truth so blatantly obvious that it staggers the imagination? Has TV finally sucked out the last traces of free thinking and intelligence from us all, so that we just blithely and blindly accept or ignore the current state of affairs?

Even smokers, who once so staunchly battled for their rights to inhale, are giving up with nary a whimper. Whilst I do not for one minute condone that particular odious habit and am happy that the harmful effects of smoking are finally "general knowledge", it is indicative of the greater erosion of our community voice and fighting spirit. Like Iago's Othello, we are as tenderly led by the nose as asses are, and we seem to be meekly accepting each new slice that is cut away from our democratic pie. What further liberties will our governments take with our liberty before the sleeping Rambling Masses stir?

The duplicity of the mass media can not be ignored in all of this. I see their black hand behind the scenes, spoon feeding us the latest info-tainment titbits. They feed us misinformation, omit any references to the dark truth, and fail in their duty of care to the highest degree.

But, hey, wait a minute. There is actually a heck of a lot of information out there in the public domain. Lots of facts that the pig-troughers would not want us to know. There is a steadily growing counter-culture of bloggers, independent journalists, authors, ethicists, moralists, scientists, artists, futurists, musicians and free thinkers out there, bringing us the real truth.

So, I would humbly suggest to all of you that you get off your asses and do some research, instead of concerning yourselves with the latest twist that Big Brother has got planned for the house mates, or what Paris Hilton got up to on the weekend.

There are no excuses for ignorance, or pretending that it's all okay, because it's not all okay. True democracy can be a wonderful system, and let's face it, it is the best form of mass governance that we have been able to come up with. Democracy is not something that just happens, it is not a natural state that all social structures gravitate towards. It is not that dark and twisted capitalist-driven hell that America is trying to bring to the Middle East.

Democracy is something that we all tend to take for granted, and it is under threat in this, our modern age. It is our duty as members of democratic states to preserve it's true spirit, and to ensure that our democratically elected leaders do not twist and warp it into something that is decidedly undemocratic, leading us down destructive and intolerant paths. As such, we must all take on the role of democracy watchdogs. This is where one of those age-old Australian traditions comes in - keeping the bastards honest.

Well, newsflash! Over the past few decades, we have allowed those bastards to not just lie through their teeth and get away with it, but we have become so fat and lazy in body and mind that we even allow them to commit our nation to untold crimes against humanity, just because Beige Howard's tongue feels so good when he's talking about the economy.

Crimes against humanity are being committed as you read this. War crimes of the most heinous nature are being perpetrated every day by the so-called liberators, the Coalition of the Willing. Or, as Richard Neville calls them, the Coalition of the Killing. That seems a much more appropriate moniker, certainly more truthful.

Just as the sixties gave us "All the way with LBJ", the noughties are giving us "On a killing spree with GWB". I am hopeful and quietly confident that the student and hippie revolution of those bygone days will return in a new wave of public protest, as the Rambling Masses finally find their voice. So go to your rooftops and shout out that we will not stand for this any longer. Send letters to our politicians, asking them if they can sleep at night with these weights on their conscience. Fill the mass media's editorial inboxes with demands to know the truth instead of the platitudes and coverups that run so rampant. Tell the shock jocks to shut up and stop spreading hate and intolerance. Demand that a worthy opposition with real ideals and values stands up at the next election. Rant to your heart's content, but rant to make a difference.

And if you think that you as an individual can't make a difference, then I am sorry to tell you, but you are wrong! If you are numbed into submission, then the pseudo-democratic apparatchiks have won, and you may as well curl up and die in your McMansions. But if you choose to exercise your democratic right to free speech, then you are empowering yourself to make a difference. Individual voices may not be heard, but eventually these voices of protest will reach a critical mass, and the leaders of the world will have no choice but to listen. That is when we can reclaim our pride in the system, when our leaders are forced to rule in an ethical and moral manner, standing up for great ideals and making mankind a power for good on this planet.

If history has taught us nothing, ("and it hasn't" as Homer Simpson once uttered) then it is this - we must not stand by and let our leaders take us down the path of evil. Remember what happened last time people just stood by and watched as a madman brought us to the brink? Sieg Oil, anyone?

A Bucket Of Sand For Your Head

2007-06-05T11:36:00.000+10:00

Hello oh Rambling Masses,

I was having a conversation with a few friends at a public drinking house on the weekend, and I am afraid that the two pints of Guinness I consumed unlocked the ranter within. We discussed some of the bad stuff going on in the world, and some of the views opined inspired me to compose this little poem.

A Bucket Of Sand For Your Head

A bucket of sand for your troubles, a bucket of sand for your head,
Carry it 'round wherever you go, gravelly goodness not just for show;
If reality rears its ugly head, you can always just play dead,
Those silicone beads will cater to your needs, hiding the harm in your way,
So take my advice and don't think twice, a bucket of sand for your head.

It will all be okay, we will find a way, man's ingenuity conquers all,
We've a mystic mandate, the world on our plate, nothing will stand in our way,
No obstacles here, no need to fear, no hint of the inevitable fall,
Darwin's extinction of species is just so much faeces, not affecting us,
We'll soldier on, continue the con, with buckets of sand for our heads.

The miniature quartz will hide the warts, no blemishes on our skin,
No need for attitude, replace it with platitude, it's so much easier then,
No hard questions, no indigestions, there's no way our race won't win,
Just place the bucket and sound the tucket, safe in our dune of delight,
All senses soothed, all worries smoothed, with buckets of sand for all heads.

The hints of doom, the tidings of gloom, none of it filters through,
It's quiet in here, no disaster is near, and the sand is nice and warm,
I might take a nap, no reason to flap, I can't taste trouble's brew,
There's no reason to panic, to behave oh so manic, the glass is always half full,
I'll enjoy the view, and right on cue, use a bucket of sand for my head.

Beige At Sea

2007-06-05T09:11:00.001+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

A picture is worth a thousand words, so here is one to ponder...

Little Things We Can All Do To Reduce Our Ecological Footprint

2007-05-30T09:04:00.000+10:00

Greets to you all, oh Rambling Masses,

I am in a didactic mood this morning, so I thought that I would write a little post describing the oh so simple little things we can all do in our lives to reduce our ecological footprint, giving this great world of ours a little bit of breathing space.

Now, I would like to point out that I am practising what I preach - these are all things that are not majorly inconvenient, and they do indeed help to minimise the wasteful existence that is modern suburbia.

I have broken it into sections, to make it an easier read.

Water Smart

Saving water and using your waste water around the house is a very easy thing to do. Our household currently uses 97 litres of water per day, as per our last water bill. This is waaaay below the average household water usage, but is still too high in my opinion, so I am working on ways to reduce this further.

Just for the record, the Sydney Water website states that for the February-April period, a water efficient household on a medium sized property with two occupants should use an average of 375 litres per day. Really, that is an obscene amount of water.

I believe that we should be paying a base rate per litre for, say, 150 litres per day based on the above-mentioned statistics, and then pay a much higher rate for usage above and beyond this. It seems to make sense to me that most people won't bother being water smart unless you hit them in the hip pocket. Then, all of a sudden, it becomes a priority (as it should be in all our lives without the financial incentive).

Here are my tips for being water smart:

The Garden:

Don't water the garden more than you have to.
Spread mulch to retain soil moisture.
Plant as much drought tolerant Australian native flora as you can. As a rate payer in your local council area, you are entitled to a number of native trees, shrubs and ornamental grasses. Find out when these pickup days are organised, and avail yourself of that service.
Use grey water to water the plants.
Install a rain water tank.
I have not used a motor/petrol-powered lawnmower in over 10 years. I do it the good old-fashioned way with a rotating-blade push mower. It's quieter, it's cleaner, and it gives you a bit more exercise.

The Taps:

Don't waste the water when you are waiting for your hot water tap to get hot. We have a couple of 2 litre plastic drink containers that we fill up with water until it heats up. This water can then be used to water the garden, to fill up your pot when you are boiling water for pasta, etc. Most houses will waste about 3 litres of water each time they wait for the water to warm up out of the tap.
Don't keep the taps running when you are brushing your teeth.
Don't keep the taps running when you are shaving the old-fashioned non-electric way. Fill the sink with hot water, and use that.
We are lucky enough to be blessed with a gravity fed hot water tank in the ceiling. This means that our hot water comes out at quite low pressure. This makes it easy for us to save water when showering, as you can't blast the water out at a high wasteful pressure. For people who don't have this mixed blessing, install water-saving shower heads.
Replace tap seals in leaking taps. Even a slow leak can waste 10-20 litres per day.

Washing Machines:

Our washing machine is an ancient and small unit which, thankfully, has a drip dry setting. This allows us to pump the final rinse grey water into watering cans for use in the garden. When this washing machine eventually carks it, we will get a water efficient one with a drip dry setting. Check the labels when you have to go shopping for a new washing machine.

The Toilet:

Ahhh, all of that good clean potable water, being used just to flush our waste away. It makes you cry, doesn't it? I (being a guy and built in such a manner as to allow it) wizz in the garden. This saves 10-15 litres per tinkle, and is good for the garden.
When alone at home so that peoples' sensibilities won't be offended, my good lady wife and I don't flush every time, if it's just wee. We probably save 30-50 litres per day doing this.
Get a smaller cistern with a half-flush button.

Electricity Smart

I am currently researching the option of going solar. This involves putting solar panels on the roof to generate electricity through the photovoltaic effect. It is expensive, but I am of the opinion that we are going to get into trouble with our electricity supply in the not too distant future. The government has a rebate scheme in place to help take a little bit of the sting out of the installation costs. I'll let you know how I get on as I find out more.

Here are my tips for being electricity smart:

Use energy-saving light bulbs.
Don't stand in front of the open fridge door for 5 minutes trying to work out what you want to get from the fridge.
If you're not in a room, turn the light off.
Turn off all "standby" appliances like TVs when you aren't using them. Standby mode consumes power.
Use rechargeable batteries instead of disposables. You can get a solar-panel-powered battery charger and be even more green.
Do you really need to turn the heater on? Put on a jumper or do some exercise instead.

Shopping Smart

Stop shopping! It is our heavy-handed consumption ways that are screwing this planet up. If you don't need it (or really, really want it) don't buy it. Stop the cycle.

Here are my tips for being shopping smart:

Buy fresh produce.
If you have to buy processed foods, make sure the packaging is as recyclable as possible.
As Tim Minchin says - Take your canvas bags to the supermarket. Don't use plastic bags.
At the chemist, stop them from automatically wrapping everything in a paper bag. You don't need it.
Buy non-bleached recycled-paper toilet paper. It is just as good at wiping your bum as the triple-ply specially-dimpled pristine-white-because-of-polluting-bleach aloe-vera-impregnated paper.
If your sofa doesn't quite match your decor anymore, get over it. If it is still comfortable and doesn't have gaping holes in it, keep using it.
Try to discourage the chuck-it-out culture that is part and parcel of the modern age. One of the biggest problems with modern consumerism is that we no longer make quality products that last, as it's much cheaper just to chuck the cheap crap out and buy another cheap crap replacement. Don't fall into this trap. It's wasteful and destructive on a planetary scale.

Recycling Smart

It's funny, you know. I couldn't fill our half-size garbage bin that gets collected by council if you gave me 2 months. However our large size recycling bin is full almost every fortnightly collection time, as is our green waste bin. Don't forget that things like aluminium foil can also be recycled.

Glass Re-use instead of Recycling:

One thing that I would like to see introduced in Australia is something that they have had in Denmark for about 20 years. Instead of recycling their plastic soft drink bottles and glass beer bottles, they clean them and reuse them. This is much more energy efficient and less polluting than remelting the glass every time you want to reuse it.

You pay a deposit on all bottles, which you get refunded when you bring them back. Most supermarkets have a bottle processing station near the entrance, where automated machines count the bottles that you return, and give you a receipt redeemable at any supermarket.

The bottles are then cleaned and sent to bottling centres, where they are relabelled and filled with whatever they get filled with. It makes so much more sense to me than re-melting them every time.

Hopefully I haven't bored you with all of these thoughts on reducing our ecological footprint. This is important shit, oh Rambling Masses, and your children will thank you for it.

A Message To Religious Fundamentalists

2007-05-28T15:56:00.000+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Just thought I'd send a little message to all monotheistic religious fundamentalists, whether you be jewish, islamic or christian -

Here's some twin towers for you to fly your planes in to.

Wake up. Your God is all about love, hope and tolerance. Get a grip. There are no virgins waiting for you in heaven if you take infidels with you when you kill yourself. Do everyone a favour and pop yourself in a quiet corner somewhere.

Keep the faith, oh Rambling Masses. The real faith, that is, not that anachronistic pseudo-faith that belongs back in the dark ages when religious powers were trying to control the barbarous hordes...

The Father Of Our Modern Evils (And How I Hate Him)

2007-05-23T09:00:00.000+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

Rant warning - yes, this is another post where I am having a good hard serious go at something. Read on, and you will see how this particularly odious miscreant has ruined everything.

I often think that if I could travel back in time and assassinate just one person for the greater good, it wouldn't be Hitler or Stalin, or even the guy who came up with the reality television concept. No, it would be Henry Ford.

But why, Pete, I hear you ask. Because he was the father of modern assembly lines used in mass production. However, his evil ways go much further than that. He came up with a concept now quaintly called "Fordism". A simple economic philosophy that states widespread prosperity and high (read obscene) corporate profits can be achieved by high wages, thus allowing said highly paid workers to go on a big spending spree and buy all of the wasteful destructive crap that they produce. I don't think he put it quite like that himself - he may have put a bit more of a positive spin on things...

What makes Fordism (and Capitalism in general) even more insidious is that, except for a few blessed madmen like myself, we all seem to think that it's a good thing. Wow, we get paid more, so we can go and spend our money on stuff we want. Surely that's a good thing. Hey, look at what a great time we are all having. Our standard of living is so much higher than any generations preceding us. We've got luxury goods coming out of our arses. We've got rolling suburbs of McMansions with double garages. We've got two big petrol-guzzling four-wheel drives (to make sure that the wife can negotiate all of those rough and rugged city streets to do their shopping and drop the kids off at school). We've all got reverse cycle air conditioning, because it's just too hard to wave a leaf in front of our sweaty faces during summer or put on a jumper (or heaven forbid, do some exercise) in winter. We've got home cinema systems to enrich our lives with all of the wisdom and true information that gets beamed into our homes by our cable provider of choice. We've got iPods and MP3 players galore, so that we don't have to listen to our thoughts for one second more than we have to. Hell, we've even got smart lawnmowers and vacuum cleaners that learn how to avoid obstacles and do the work for us.

Oh the orgasmic and never-ending stream of things that we have, giving us the luxury living that we all aspire to. And to think that all of this was made possible by just one little concept - Fordism.

I associate all of the evils of modern capitalism with mass production and mass consumption. These are the two things that, whilst sounding very economically viable, are counter-productive to the continued existence of not just the human race, but all life on the planet. How can we ever reach an equilibrium with our environment when there is the constant dangle of the carrot on a stick in front of us, leading us ever onwards to commit untold acts of rape and pillage on the environment around us? How can we be happy when the modern media continuously bombards us, telling us that we must consume, consume, consume to satisfy our sense of self-worth?

I find it an interesting commentary on our modern society that one of the first things George Bush said after the 9/11 terrorist attack was for the people of America to go out and spend - don't let those nasty terrorists win. That's right, continue to prop up the ongoing fallacy of modern economics - we have to keep growing to keep going. Without that 3% growth per year, we will never be able to afford the living-beyond-our-means lifestyles to which we have become accustomed. Without our continued confusion, chasing quantity instead of quality, we will not be able to give meaning to our existence.

Taken in that context, we seem to be defining ourselves as consumers, eating up all of the resources that our planet is struggling to supply us with. We are what we eat, and our appetite is insatiable.

So now I return to Henry Ford, that cloven-hoofed progenitor of the monied powers, and I think about killing him for the greater good. However, I know that some other opportunistic bastard would have just taken his place, and then I'd have to go back and kill him too, on and on, ad infinitum. And I know that eventually, even though I have Viking blood in my veins, I would grow sick of all the killing.

Thankfully, I see a great solution on the horizon. In fact, it is even closer than the horizon. I don't know how many of you amongst the Rambling Masses have heard of the concept of Peak Oil, so I'll give a brief definition.

Peak Oil is the point at which the world's oil reserves reach their absolute maximum production levels ever. There will be no more increases in world oil production after that point. We may plateau for a while, but then the gradual slide downwards will begin. You see, there's no gloom and doom yet, right? We won't run out of oil for at least another hundred years, so why worry, right?

See, the thing is, even a plateau will have untold cataclysmic ramifications for the very fabric of our society. We won't be able to continue that glorious 3% growth that Beige Howard, George Dubya, Blair Witch and all of the other world power cronies rabbit on about.

Oil is not just used to lubricate our machines and make petrol and diesel for our four wheel drives. Oil touches every part of our modern lives. We make plastic, fertilisers and herbicides from oil, along with a million other things too numerous to mention here (without the post getting annoyingly long). Every manufacturing process and transportation process relies on oil. Alternative energy sources will never be able to fill the void, since they cannot provide the same levels of cheap and available energy as oil can.

Ah, but bio-diesel and hydrogen cells will save us. Do me a favour. The process of manufacturing hydrogen requires more power to be put in than you can get from it. Bio-fuel would require an arable area greater than the size of all of the agricultural land in Australia currently being used, just to fuel Sydney's requirements. And where are we going to get the fertilisers and herbicides from when the oil dries up?

Things will, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth, grind to an inevitable halt. And oh, how I will enjoy the silence. I for one welcome the end of the Oil Age, for it has meant nothing but rampant destruction and pollution on a grand scale. All of that cheap energy got to our heads, and we just went ahead and went crazy, leaving (to use a soon-to-be-anachronistic term) nothing in the tank for our future generations.

Yet one more evil perpetrated by Henry Ford was the industry that he chose to apply his oh-so-sensible economic rationalism to - the motor industry. Cars are responsible for vast amounts of oil consumption, giving us an easy way of getting from point A to point B, whilst at the same time fouling the air all around. You need only look at that glorious brown haze in major urban areas, take a deep breath, and enjoy the smell of sweet success.

And I laugh mightily at all of this, because we are not looking at the Peak Oil event happening in 50 years, or even 10 years. Future records will probably show that the world Peak Oil event has already happened, or is about to happen in the next year or two at the very latest. Ghawar, the largest conventional oil field ever discovered, accounted for about two thirds of Saudi oil production over the past half century. It supplied five million barrels of oil per day, which amounts to about 6.5% of the world's daily production of 84 million barrels. Well, advanced oil extraction techniques have been employed there for a while, to wring the last few drops from the rag, and it's well and truly on it's last legs. Peak Oil is here, and if you think that $1.40 per litre for petrol is a bit steep, just wait, oh Rambling Masses, just wait...

Bring it on, I say! I can't wait for our destructive society to crash and burn in the flames that have been waiting so long to engulf it. Finally, the demon spawn of Henry Ford will die a deserving and eternal death. Hopefully, we will have the resilience and resourcefulness as a species to bounce back and continue our existence. I only hope that we do not continue our destructive ways. I hear people talking about a revival of the Coal Age after the Oil Age fades into fond memories of glory days, of private jets, of golf courses, of 1o-cylinder luxury cars...

But hey, wait a minute! Isn't coal a finite and oh-so-polluting resource too?

I will leave you with a wonderful quote by an anonymous Saudi Arabian oil sheikh, who uttered these immortal words in 1982:

"My father rode a camel. I drive a car. My son flies a plane. His son will ride a camel."

The Adventures Of Hans Malone - Private Dick

2007-05-21T08:50:00.000+10:00

Ah, Rambling Masses,

Have I got something average in store for you today! About five years ago, I was mucking around on a local community radio station as a pretend DJ with a couple of friends of mine, and I decided to put together a rather silly weekly serial.

I recently stumbled across the end result, hiding in a dark recess of my hard drive somewhere. And so, without further ado, I give you...

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 1

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 2

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 3

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 4

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 5

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 6

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 7

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 8

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 9

The Adventures Of Hans Malone Episode 10

I hope you enjoy wasting your time listening to it as much as I enjoyed wasting my time making it. Until next we meet, oh Rambling Masses, I remain your humble servant.

Random Thoughts

2007-05-18T13:55:00.000+10:00

Hello, oh Rambling Masses,

I got to thinking a few random thoughts, Steven Wright style, and felt like sharing them with you. So, for better or worse, here they are:

Why do they call them Automatic Teller Machines, when you still need to manually make your way to an ATM, insert your card, key in your PIN, the amount you want, which account to get it from, whether or not you want a receipt, grab your card, grab your cash and grab your receipt? If it were truly automatic, shouldn't the money just magically appear in your wallet?

What will unlucky lovers say, now that there aren't plenty of fish left in the sea?

What if you are neither lucky at love or cards? Do you get some other kind of bonus to compensate?

Why are there approximately 25 different types of toilet paper of all different kinds of ply thickness, colours, patterns, fragances, aloe vera infusions and diverse other luxurious trappings, when ultimately, it's all really about poo, plain and simple?

Why did the descriptive moniker "Heavy Metal" never get shortened to "Lead"?

Why are our lives absolutely nothing like "reality TV"? Isn't that false advertising?

If sunflower oil comes from sunflowers, and olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

Why did we ever stop the age-old practise of killing the bearer of ill tidings? If we reinstated it, it might mean that the TV news and newspapers would be worthwhile for a change.

Does anyone really care about consumer confidence? What is that, anyway - "Consumer Confidence"? If I walk tentatively into a chemist and purchase some condoms, would that be reducing the level of consumer confidence?

Does Baz Luhrmann do his BAS, or does his accountant do Baz's BAS for him?

What do swallows do if they have problems swallowing?

Did you know that as recently as pre-WWII, blue used to be a girl's colour, and pink used to be a boy's colour? This is because blue was considered the more delicate of the two, what with pink being associated with the strong colour, red. Apparently, the use of a pink triangle to identify homosexuals in Nazis concentration camps contributed to the gender-colour reversal, as did the post-war desire to get away from the dreary grey, navy and khaki of the wartime years.

Why don't more soldiers faint during their Passing Out Parade?

How come people get grossed out when you mention making cheese from human breast milk? We are human, and it makes more sense to eat human cheese than it does to eat cow cheese, goat cheese or sheep cheese, doesn't it? Guys would be queueing up to join the dairy industry...

The Happiness Principle

2007-05-16T10:16:00.000+10:00

Hello Oh Rambling Masses,

What's that I hear you ask? Am I suffering from blog weariness, that great falling away after the initial flurry? It has been over a month since my last post (no pun intended for all you Anzac-ites). But here I am, back again with another collection of rambling words, vaguely attempting to reach that wonderful goal of communication.

The particular pearl of wisdom that I want to impart today is one that is very close to my heart, right next to the mass of muscles that keep my blood-pumping organ going.

What is it that we all seek in life? A simple question, with a surprisingly simple answer. We all want to be happy, don't we? Yes we do. I've now used up my quota of rhetorical questions, so I will refrain from using them further throughout the rest of this post... that would be a good idea, wouldn't it now?

Happiness is the one goal above all else that we aspire to. We can become confused at times, and identify such things as material possessions, the quest for power, and other ephemeral pursuits as the raison d'etre of life that drives us. But this all comes to naught unless it gives us happiness, that deep sense of well-being and satisfaction that warms our souls and makes the day-to-day troubles seem so trivial.

Ah, happiness - such a simple concept, but at times so hard to grasp. The biggest problem I have in my life is an ongoing internal struggle between my emotional optimism and my intellectual pessimism. I have a vast amount of emotional optimism, a belief that all will work out right in the end, a naive core that is proud to be so.

But another tenant is housed within my heart, that of the intellectual pessimist. I cannot help sometimes to be carried away in streams of sadness, frustration and rage at the state of the world, unchanged for these many millennia, where we have the means to make everything right, but the will is missing. Wars, petty disputes, poverty, lack of education, destructive capitalistic opportunism, racism, sexism, religious differences, pollution, greed and ignorance, all run rampant in our world. The gift of life that we have been given is wasted on unfruitful, counter-productive toil that does not do much, if anything, to improve the lot of ourselves or those around us. By the expression "those around us" I mean every living entity on this planet.

So, what is the answer? (D'oh, there's another rhetorical - I just can't help myself). Well, you don't have to be the brightest spark in the fire to realise that the current systems we have in place the world over are not exactly delivering the goods. Communism, yeah, well, that was a failed experiment that was never going to work. Capitalism, oh my god, how I wish you would die! Autocracies, totalitarianism, fascism, dictatorships, monarchies, religious despotism, feudalism - yeah, right - they sure make everyone happier...

The basic problem with all of these systems is the same - there's a bunch of fat cats who want to lord it over everyone else. Call it basic human nature, if you want, but in my opinion it is just another cancer that needs to be excised. Why do we assume that it is the natural order of things for people to want more than their fellows? Is greed the natural order of things?

It kind of reminds me of a rather excellent movie, the message of which was very poignant. Instinct, with Anthony Hopkins, raises the concept of "Takers". Hopkins talks about the people that inhabited the world 10,000 years ago, and how a tribe of "Takers" swept all before them. His speech about modern man's presumption that he has the right to a dominion over the world is searing and brutally accurate. The idea that somewhere in the dim dark dawn of prehistory, humans used what they needed as opposed to what they wanted is a powerful and sad indictment on our modern "civilised" world.

I often have problems balancing the negative and positive sides of my personality. There are times (all too often) when I dip over into the negative, and lose my sense of balance. Depression is a close but thankfully not yet realised danger during these times. But I always manage to snap out of it, eventually.

One of the things that has helped return me to a more positive frame of mind is the concept of the Happiness Principle. Put simply, I feel that in life we should be almost constantly guided by a simple test - does what I do/say/feel/make/contribute/whatever actually increase the sum total of happiness in the world? It needn't always be your own happiness that is paramount, for we can often do things for others that may not necessarily be in our own best interests.

As per the Happiness Principle, if the answer to that question is yes, then go ahead, knock yourself out, go for broke. If the answer to that question is no, then there better be a bloody good reason for it, otherwise don't do it.

I know it's very simplistic, but I hope that in some small way it is a step in the right direction towards reclaiming our rightful place on this planet as custodians of the life that we control. With great power comes great responsibility, something that our leaders often seem to ignore (and I mean not just political leaders, but business leaders, community leaders, and all others in positions of power to affect things around them). Hey, wait a minute, that's everyone. We all have the power to affect things around us. So, what are we waiting for?

One of the most powerful books I have ever read is one called "The Alchemy Of Happiness". Written by the great Sufi teacher Hazrat Inayat Khan. I would like to reproduce just one passage from the book, for your edification:

Sin and virtue, good and bad, right and wrong, can be distinguished and determined on this principle. Virtue is what brings real happiness. What is called right is that which leads to happiness. What is good is good because it gives happiness; and if it does not do so it cannot be called good, it cannot be called virtue, it cannot be right. Whenever man has found virtue in unhappiness he has been mistaken; whenever he was wrong he has been unhappy. Happiness is the being of man; that is why he craves it.

So, I now apply this Happiness Principle to the men in power, and I see them sadly lacking. How is the "War on Terror in Oil Rich Countries" contributing to happiness? How is this dumb-ass Australian (and all other capitalist lap-dog nations) political obsession with the Economy over all else contributing to happiness? How is poisoning the rivers, chopping down the forests and killing all the fish contributing to happiness? How is causing the greatest mass extinction rate since the big rock hit 65 million years ago (scientists estimate there are 10 to 30 million plant and animal species on the planet, most of them unidentified; each year as many as 50,000 species disappear; most die off because of human activity) contributing to happiness? Taken to its logical conclusion, will we be happy when it's just us, mosquitos, flies and cockroaches left on the planet?

And so we come to one last question - how is worrying about all of this contributing to happiness? Well, on the face of it, it's not. I am not a happier man because of it. But I would much rather be unhappy at times than to stick my head in a bucket of sand and be blissfully ignorant. If in some small way I can influence the great rape and pillage of this planet for the better, then all of my unhappiness will have been worth it for the greater happiness to come.

I leave you now, oh Rambling Masses, with a complex smile on my lips that is half happy, half sad.

Byron Bay of Plenty

2007-04-11T10:16:00.000+10:00

Well, well, well oh Rambling Masses,

Here I am, fresh back from the Byron Bay Blues Fest, though fresh is perhaps not the best way to describe my current state after 5 days of fun, frolics and music. "Quietly Contemplative (Dog Tired)" or "Nice Smile On Face After A Magnificent Festival" may be better descriptions.

For those that went to the BBBF, it was nice bumping into you, and my, weren't there a lot of you!

For those that would like to know a bit about the joys of BBBF according to Pete, cast your eyes over this particular wordy ramble:

After a joyful trip up from Sydney to Byron Bay, with a few stops along the way for wizard adventures and lashings of ginger beer, we (being Three-Knees, Carnie-Queen, The Hobbit, Big-Dancer, CD and yours truly) set up the campsite (thanks for booking Carnie-Queen, you legend in cowboy boots).

This was made easier with assistance from fine weather, years of setting up the old tarp, and Big-Dancer's new Go Go Gadget - the caravan. Never have I camped in such luxury. Top work, buddy. What will it be next year I wonder - personal hovercrafts and a bio-dome?

One of the greatest things about these multi-stage music festivals is the ability to walk around and choose the music that grabs your fancy. If you don't like an act, you mosey on over to another tent and give that a go. With 4 tents to choose from at BBBF, not only do you get to listen in on your favourite acts, but you get to discover some hidden gems that had never before delighted you with their sparkle.

For me, the acts I knew about and which left a real impression were (in no particular order other than vaguely chronological) Lee Scratch Perry, Gomez, Joss Stone, Bo Diddley, Fishbone, Eric Burdon & The Animals, The Ghostwriters, Paul Kelly, and Taj Mahal.

The acts I knew nothing about (but was very pleasantly surpised) and which I'll be checking out more of were Dallas Frasca, Ben Kweller, AYO, Paolo Nutini, Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, Old Man River, Bluezone, The Neo, Kaki King, Chris Smither, Larry Carlton Blues Project with Robben Ford, and Piers Faccini.

We camped at the Byron Bay camping park just across the road from the festival, and so it was a mere 5 minute amble over whenever the urge took us either way. Good for those cross-kneed waddles back to camp for a toilet break when the queues at the festival got longer than 7 km.

Lucky we were so well prepared - it rained on and off throughout the festival days and nights, and we had the pleasure of several big downpours. It got pretty sloppy at the festival on the last 2 days.

This didn't get us down, though. The only blight on an otherwise perfect trip was the rather lacklustre security of our campsites. Groups of kids were roaming around, flogging anything that wasn't locked in cars or vans. People lost a fair bit of grog, and anything else they were silly enough to lay tantalisingly in the open.

We were lucky - the only real theft incident of note that we had was on the last night of the festival. It was also a masterfully executed sting operation with a twist. A few of us who shall remain nameless left a "present" for the pack of little rapscallions - a bottle of whiskey with about 5 cm of fine malt liquor left in it. A little extra flavour was added to help restore the Karmic balance of the Cosmic All.

The bait was taken, and you can chalk one up for the good guys. I could wax lyrical about the intricate and ultimately satisfying joys of poetic justice, and I just did.

Sorry, I got distracted by a shiny thing. Now, where was I? I should be getting back to the music, for that is one of the two main reasons for going to the BBBF, the other being the fine companionship of great mates in the only hippie communal environment left for us to experience - the camping trip.

THE standout experience for me at BBBF would have to be Chris Smither. Amazing that his first record came out in 1970, and I had never heard of this incredible man. Stylistically, he combines the best of folk, blues and (dare I say it?) country. Despite being a great guitar player, this plays second fiddle to his amazing lyrical prowess. I was rewarded with song after song with the most amazing words and poetry. The writer in me instantly connected. His between-song monologues were incredibly insightful comments on life, and his dry humour was a delight for me.

It's funny how everyone has their own ways of connecting with the world. Funny and fantastic - so much variety! What you are resonates with things you experience in the world around you (call it Hippie vibrations if that tickles your fancy). Big-Dancer and Three-Knees are guitarists, and I saw their joyous rapture at the Larry Carlton/Robben Ford show. That's how they connect.

Me, I'm a big fan of the music, certain instruments, minor chords, stage presence, and all of the multitude of things that make up a live music experience. What I really connect with, though, is folk-style deep lyrics that starts this war in your head - at the same time you are trying to feel the music and trying to dive deeper and analyse the lyrics. That's the writer in me. I watched/listened to the Larry Carlton/Robben Ford show beside Big-Dancer and Three-Knees. I know enough about what I like with guitar music to know when to nod appreciatively at Big-Dancer at just about the right times. I think that I almost had him fooled ;-)

But I don't get the depth of experience that the two guitarists do. They analyse sounds, chord structures, action, tuning and a bunch of other things that I can't begin to imagine. The whole experience is able to give you much greater enjoyment if your levels of appreciation become more sophisticated through knowledge.

That's why I love lyrics. I know by my gut a great number of different techniques by which the message in a poem can be delivered to the reader, whilst at the same time providing its own soundtrack through the sounds of the voice as the words are either spoken or sung. Poetry and music are very closely linked, and I'm not just talking about the prevalent use of the rhyming couplet.

Chris Smither got me diving right in and analysing his lyrics. I came out both awed and inspired. If you ever read this, Chris - thank you from the bottom of my heart and the top of my mind.

Lee Scratch Perry was very pleasant. Through my rather unusual love of Dub music, I have a number of Scratch's albums. He could be called the Godfather of Dub, so it was a great pleasure to see him live. What a strange weird little man he is, bless him.

Gomez was a standout for me, too. Great voice that lead singer has, and the music rocks.

Bo Diddley - man, what a legend. Dwayne Dibbley? Noooo, how come I got to be Dwayne Dibbley? Seeing Bo again was a true delight. The man IS blues.

Joss Stone - punch one through the knuckles. Great show - very polished and real.

Fishbone were very funky, and their stage presence makes for an amazing act. Great use of the crowd surfing whilst singing at the same time - would have been easier if they had radio mikes instead of roadies feeding out the mic cord. Still, they somehow managed it. The lead singer brought out the largest saxomophone you've ever laid eyes on - it was almost as big as him. He blew about 10 notes through it, and I am sure that an earthquake happened somewhere because of it. Then he put it away again.

Eric Burdon & the Animals - man can that guy still belt a tune out! These guys were brilliant. Loved the songs, big hits and small.

The Ghostwriters - some great moments. Despite not quite being Midnight Oil, they still belt out some fine tunes with traditional gusto. They deserve more recognition, I think - one of Australia's forgotten bands.

Paul Kelly - Fungus was right - "The Yanks have Bob Dylan. We've got Paul Kelly." The man is an icon. Every song just shouts out Australia from the top of the coathanger. He should be the next President.

Taj Mahal - solid blues music with a great sound. Despite his keyboard incident, he went on to wow the crowd.

Dallas Frasca - good guitarist and a powerful, hard voice. She should invest in a drummer, though - I couldn't get that stomp box beat out of my head for days.

Ben Kweller - awesome sound, great bluesy-rock.

AYO - so sad I only caught a song and a half at the end of her show. Amazing presence, and an incredible sound. Her voice has this amazing quality to it, and her phrasing is delightfully different.

Paolo Nutini - once again, only caught the last few songs. The adjectives are getting a bit repetitive, but Paolo's music was fantastic. The CD Big-Dancer bought shows a slower, more mellow side than what we heard in the big closer songs.

Bela Fleck and the Flecktones - Future Man rocks! This was probably number 2 behind Chris Smither for me. The banjo was great, though I can't help feeling stuck in a Dukes of Hazard car chase every time I hear it. The bass player was the most remarkable I have ever seen. I stood transfixed as he slapped through solo after amazing solo. Saw these guys twice, and loved every minute of it.

Old Man River - another new find for me. Bought the album and love it already.

Bluezone - saw a few songs and was very impressed with their sound.

The Neo - from Darwin. I was lucky enough to catch these funky freaks. They have a great bunch of tunes, and they sound great. Kinda Cat Empirish ska.

Kaki King - along with Bela Fleck, this has to be my number 2 at the festival. Her live show is breathtaking. Such an unassuming, almost shy presence on stage, and then this amazingly intense unaccompanied guitar music hits you right in the kisser. Very unusual tunings (just reading from the blurb about her - as if I'd know about unusual tunings...) and a very unusual use of percussive techniques on the strings and guitar body (I could work that bit out by myself). She also did a couple of songs where she sampled loops and licks from a slide guitar and added these progressively to compose wonderfully full-sounding pieces of music, adding layer upon layer.

Chris Smither - I thought I'd mention him again, just 'coz he's tops.

Larry Carlton Blues Project with Robben Ford - I saw Robben Ford many years ago at the Basement, and was an instant convert to his genius. I hadn't heard of Larry Carlton before (philistine that I am). They were incredible. Virtuoso guitar playing without the bravado - these guys are true giants of the genre.

Piers Faccini - amazing wailing vocals. Sort of Cold Play meets Muse. Enjoyed it heaps.

Big-Dancer criticised me for my blog posts being too long, and here I have gone and done it again. Will I ever learn?

'Til next time, oh Rambling Masses, whenever the fancy takes me.

Hypocrisy and the colour Beige

2007-04-03T09:43:00.000+10:00

Greetings Rambling Masses,

Well, here I am, about to head off to the Byron Bay Blues Festival, to blast the cobwebs and negative vibes out of my skull with some fine music and the joys of the communal camp. However, I just couldn't resist the call of just one more gentle rant before I go...

Hypocrisy is an interesting concept. The pot calling the kettle black, people in glass houses throwing stones, and so on. I would like to draw the attention of the Rambling Masses to what I feel is one of the finer cases of hypocrisy in the modern age (at least in Australia, anyway).

I refer to our illustrious leader, "Beige" Howard - the man with so little spine that he seems to be an evolutionary throwback to the gastropoda class of creatures. Let's inspect the definition of gastropods:

There is usually a definite head, bearing one or two sensory tentacles and a mouth that is often equipped with a rasplike tongue called a radula. The lower surface of the animal is modified into a large, flattened foot, used by bottom-dwelling forms for creeping about. The foot and other soft parts of the body can usually be completely withdrawn into the shell.

Yes, that definitely sounds like our Beige. And what slimy trail has this particular snail left in our political landscape? Let's explore this important question, whilst also returning to the introductory concept of hypocrisy:

Point 1: Every time that talk of saving the environment springs up (you know, little things like the ratification of the Kyoto protocol, actually getting behind and backing development into our greatest and most abundant renewable energy resources such as wind and solar, moving away from the intensely stupid concepts of coal and *shudder* nuclear power, stopping logging of old-growth forests), this spineless Beige twerp brings up the same old tired arguments - "mnah, errh, I will not do anything that puts Australian jobs at risk, mnah, mneeeh".

Point 2: (And here is where the delightful stench of hypocrisy wafts like a vast tsunami wave under the nostrils of the Rambling Masses) Beige jumped onto old George Dubya's leg faster than you can say "lap dog" and started to hump for all that he was worth. What I am referring to is the signing of the Australia-US Free Trade Agreement. Did our fine snail stand up to the monied powers and actually broker a decent agreement for not just us, but for our future generations? Naaaaaah! Of course not. So now, we are stuck with an FTA that guarantees Australia loses billions of dollars each year (and probably tens or hundreds of thousands of good old Australian jobs).

I bring the following salient points to your attention:

Pharmaceuticals - Australia’s Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme (PBS) guarantees Australians some of the cheapest medicines in the world. That’s why US pharmaceutical companies lobbied to undermine the PBS throughout negotiations for the Australia-US FTA. Among the biggest and richest corporations in the world, these companies argued that because consumers in Australia can buy medicines cheaper than in America, the PBS is an unfair subsidy which should be changed to allow them greater profits.
Agriculture - Despite a promise to Australians by Prime Minister Howard on November 21, 2003 that "if we can't get something quite big on agriculture then we won't have a free trade agreement", the FTA delivers few new export markets to farmers. At the same time, it threatens local markets by giving all US imports into Australia (many of them subsidised by the US government) "immediate duty-free access", and by making changes to quarantine standards to allow more US produce in.

Quotas for Australian beef exports to the US will remain for the next 18 years, until 2022, before free trade is instituted. Australian dairy exports will be allowed to increase to a tiny 2% of US imports. Sugar is excluded from the deal.

However, local produce which will be threatened with increased imports of subsidised US produce including processed foods, soups and bakery products, fruits and vegetables, dried onions, fruit and vegetable juices, dried plums, potatoes, almonds, tomatoes, cherries, raisins, olives, fresh grapes, sweet corn, frozen strawberries, and walnuts.
Quarantine - The FTA will also give the US unprecedented influence over Australian quarantine laws by creating a new body to oversee quarantine, on which the US government will sit. The US Government has stated that using this new body, "food inspection procedures that have posed barriers in the past will be addressed, benefiting [US agricultural] sectors such as pork, citrus, apples and stone fruit."

Opening up Australian markets to these US imports will not only threaten Australian growers, but will bring in new pests and diseases against which current quarantine rules protect.
Manufacturing - Under the FTA, more than 99 percent of U.S. manufactured exports to Australia will become duty-free immediately upon entry into force of the Agreement. U.S. manufacturers estimate that this elimination of tariffs could result in US$2 billion per year in increased U.S. exports of manufactured goods - that is, an increase of US$2 billion per year in Australian imports.

Trade unions have predicted that this change will result in tens of thousands of jobs lost as local production is displaced by imports from technologically superior American manufacturers.

Even Toyota Australia has warned that the FTA could destroy the Australian car industry, causing manufacturers to move to the US, where production would be cheaper. Whistleblower website Crikey.com.au has also published rumours that Ford is considering the closure of its Factory in Geelong, Victoria as a direct result of the FTA.
Environment - The FTA will undermine Australia's existing environmental laws and fetter Australian governments seeking to legislate to protect the environment. And while US law requires a formal environmental assessment of all trade agreements, the potential environmental impacts of this agreement for Australia have never been formally assessed by the government. Many serious questions about the environmental consequences of the AUSFTA therefore remain unanswered.

The Australian Conservation Foundation makes this point about the FTA's potential impact on Australia's environment - The FTA Investment Chapter obliges the Commonwealth Government to compensate US investors if Australian laws on the environment, human rights or labour standards "significantly interfere" with their investments. This provides greater rights to US investors than are currently enjoyed by Australians under the Australian legal system. If this obligation is breached, the US Government will have the right to seek compensation.
Australian Culture/Audio-Visual Content - Local Content Rules in Australian TV and radio ensure that Australian stories and Australian voices are heard over the deluge of American programming. But the US, not content with this, has used the FTA to limit Australia’s right to regulate its film, TV and radio.

The US has reported that "the FTA contains important and unprecedented provisions to improve market access for U.S. films and television programs over a variety of media including cable, satellite, and the Internet."
Intellectual Property - The FTA significantly increases the rights of intellectual property owners - mostly large corporations - over users - mostly ordinary people. Changes under the FTA include:
- extension in the term for copyright material from life of the author plus 50 years to life of the author plus 70 years. Such increased copyright protection will impose serious costs on the public who will have to pay to use large numbers of everything from music to film and books which would otherwise be in the public domain. Further, this restriction will stifle creativity, discriminating against new and small artists who are further restricted in their ability to use material which would otherwise be in the public domain.
- enormously increased powers for copyright-owning corporations, enabling them to disturb business, attack normal consumer practices, and suppress information;
- draconian requirements of Internet Services Providers which would be burdensome for those businesses, and intrusive into the activities of businesses and consumers;
- issue of patents for mere descriptions of business processes, which is completely at odds with the very notion of patents, and seriously constraining on the conduct of business.
Among other effects, these changes will limit the ability of Australian software developers, companies, and users to benefit from and contribute to the Open Source software industry. Again, this benefits large software corporations such as Micro$oft, and stifles the creativity of ordinary computer programmers.

So, what do you say, oh Rambling Masses? Is it not finally time (long overdue in my opinion) to go to your local hardware store, spend up big on snail pellets, and start throwing them at Canberra?

A Few Dictionary Definitions

2007-03-30T22:23:00.000+10:00

Hello Rambling Masses,

How's life treating you? Well, I trust. You know, it's amazing what a dictionary or encyclopaedia can teach you, if only you take the time to idly thumb through them. Heck, you don't even have to lug dusty tomes around, banging them onto tables and attracting stern stares from those around you in the deathly quiet library. These days, you can just click on to Wikipedia, and surf to your heart's and mind's content.

The following are acknowledged as excerpts from Wikipedia definitions.

The Geneva Conventions consist of four treaties formulated in Geneva, Switzerland, that set the standards for international law for humanitarian concerns. They chiefly concern the treatment of non-combatants and prisoners of war.

Ethics, a major branch of philosophy, is the study of values and customs of a person or group and covers the analysis and employment of concepts such as right and wrong, good and evil, and responsibility.

Morality refers to the concept of human ethics which pertains to matters of right and wrong — also referred to as "good and evil" — used within three contexts: individual conscience; systems of principles and judgments — sometimes called moral values —shared within a cultural, religious, secular or philosophical community; and codes of behavior or conduct morality.

Human rights refers to universal rights of human beings regardless of jurisdiction or other factors, such as ethnicity, nationality, religion, or sex.

Humanitarianism is an informal ideology of practice, whereby people practice humane treatment and provide assistance to others. Humanitarianism is based on a view that all human beings deserve respect and dignity and should be treated as such. Therefore, humanitarians work towards advancing the well-being of humanity as a whole. It is the antithesis of the "us vs. them" mentality that characterizes tribalism and ethnic nationalism.

So, where am I heading with this? Bear with me, and all will become quite clear.

Imperialism is the policy of extending a nation's authority by territorial acquisition or by the establishment of economic and political hegemony over other nations, countries, or colonies. This is either through direct territorial conquest or settlement, or through indirect methods of influencing or controlling the politics and/or economy.

Colonialism is the extension of a nation's sovereignty over territory beyond its borders by the establishment of either settler colonies or administrative dependencies in which indigenous populations are directly ruled or displaced. Colonizing nations generally dominate the resources, labor, and markets of the colonial territory, and may also impose socio-cultural, religious and linguistic structures on the conquered population.

Guantanamo Bay detainment camp serves as a joint military prison and interrogation camp under the leadership of Joint Task Force Guantanamo (JTF-GTMO) and has occupied a portion of the United States Navy's base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba since 2002. The prison holds people suspected by the executive branch of the U.S. government of being al-Qaeda and Taliban operatives, as well as those no longer considered suspects who are being held pending relocation elsewhere. The prisoners were captured in Afghanistan and elsewhere around the world.

The detainment areas consist of three camps in the base: Camp Delta (which includes Camp Echo), Camp Iguana, and the now-closed Camp X-Ray. The facility is often referred to as Guantanamo, Gitmo (derived from the abbreviation "GTMO" ), or Camp X-Ray.

The camp has drawn strong criticism both in the U.S. and world-wide for its detainment of prisoners without trial, and allegations of torture. The detainees held by the United States were classified as "enemy combatants". The U.S. administration had claimed that they were not entitled to the protections of the Geneva Conventions, but the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against this interpretation on June 29, 2006. Following this, on July 7, 2006 the Department of Defense issued an internal memo stating that prisoners will in the future be entitled to protection under the Geneva Conventions.

Most of the detainees still at Guantanamo are not scheduled for trial. As of November 2006, according to MSNBC.com, out of 775 detainees who have been brought to Guantanamo, approximately 340 have been released, leaving 435 detainees. Of those 435, 110 have been labeled as ready for release. Of the other 325, only "more than 70" will face trial, the Pentagon says. That leaves about 250 who may be held indefinitely.

Auschwitz (Konzentrationslager Auschwitz) was the largest of the Nazi concentration camps. The camp complex consisted of three main camps: Auschwitz I, the administrative center; Auschwitz II (Birkenau), an extermination camp or Vernichtungslager; and Auschwitz III (Monowitz), a work camp.

Draw your own conclusions. oh Rambling Masses, as I have drawn mine. The red text links are a rather serendipitous afterthought.
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The Art Of Growing Old Gracefully

2007-03-19T22:30:00.000+11:00

Hello, oh Rambling Masses,

I must profess that as I grow older, I try to find ways to do it in as graceful a way as possible. I don't look forward to wearing my Y-fronts pulled all the way up to my armpits, but if that is the future that fate has planned for me, then so be it. I will wedge, and do it gracefully.

The art of growing old gracefully is all about the balance between disappointment and mediocrity.

This sounds like an inherently negative statement, but upon deeper inspection, this is far from the truth. The truth is that, as one gets older, the tendency is to lower one's expectations of life.

No one can say that they have achieved all that, in the fiery flush of youth, they set out to do. With our dreams coursing through our veins, we, as pert young things full of vigour and vim, attacked the mountainside of life with all of our vitality, and climbed for all that we were worth.

Experience, that great leveller, taught us many things as we climbed. Those who now have the wisdom of years have learned to respect their limits, for none of us is able to achieve EVERYTHING that we set out to do.

All of us have goals that, as we age, we realise we may never achieve. This can't help but to breed a sense of failure and disappointment to a greater or lesser extent, depending on the individual. To protect ourselves, we lower our goals, and if this becomes too much of a habit, then we descend into mediocrity.

This is the great balancing act that we must play in our lives. Set our sights too high, and we are doomed to failure and the bitter taste of disappointment. Set our sights too low, and we condemn ourselves to a life of mediocrity, and we end up being so much less than we are capable of.

Finding the balance is, in my humble opinion, one of the hardest things in life, but a task well worth the endeavour. We should continually strive to test our limits, to not fall into that oh-so-simple trap of mediocrity. Don't settle for sitting in front of the TV with a bag of crisps resting on your laundry-greyed Y-fronts (again with the Y-fronts!), watching the latest regurgitation of reality TV posing as entertainment. Quite often, we are capable of more than we think.

Know your limitations, but never EVER sell yourself short.

I choose life over mere existence any day. The difference is not just the challenge that you set yourself every day, but even more importantly, identifying that there is and should be a challenge.

The People Of The World Need Your Help

2007-03-15T10:35:00.000+11:00

The extract below is from the Médecins Sans Frontières (sometimes called Doctors Without Borders in English) website. I urge all of you to sign the petition against Novartis, once you have checked the facts, of course.

Once again, the old chestnut of profit over all else rears its ever-so-ugly head, and I am joining the fight in an effort to make a small difference in this world where we could be so much more than we are if only we would concentrate on the things that really matter - human life, liberty, advancement and justice.

Just to put it all in a nutshell, Novartis, like all pharmaceutical companies, are trying to protect their obscene profit margins by shutting down the generic drug companies of India. These Indian drug companies manufacture cheap (i.e. affordable to the developing world) copies of drugs such as AIDS treatments so that all can have a chance to live a decent life free of the worst side-effects of this and other scourges of humanity. Novartis are currently pushing their AIDS drugs for something like $20-25 per pill (one needed per day), which is clearly beyond most people in the developing world. How long must profit be considered above humanity, I ask you?

Links to MSF can be found in my links area in the right hand section of my blog window (or here -> Médecins Sans Frontières).

As they say on the website, and this should be a universal call to all peoples of the world -

People before Patents: The lives of millions are at stake!

And just in case you are worried that this may hurt Novartis' profits to the point where they will no longer be able to provide the world with pharmaceutical development dollars, there's this extract from Novartis' Annual Results Conference in 2006:

Dynamic 2006 Group performance:
Net sales rise 15% (+14% in local currencies) to USD 37.0 billion
Operating income advances 18% as productivity initiatives more than offset acquisition costs and investments in new pharmaceutical product launches
Net income up 17% to USD 7.2 billion
EPS rise 16% to USD 3.06 per share in the fifth consecutive year of double-digit profit expansion

The suffering and death of hundreds of thousands of people in this world who cannot afford the overly inflated cost of AIDS treatment drugs should be on the consciences of these people who crow about their double-digit profit expansions. May they rot in hell, I say!

Let me go on record as saying that a prerequisite for all CEOs and Financial Officers of these mega-pharma corporations should be to tour disease-ravaged areas, and face the people that they should be helping, before they are placed in positions where it becomes a simple equation of profit over all else. Let them know the human consequences, and one would hope that they would behave in a different manner.

Extract from MSF follows:

Novartis was one of the 39 companies that took the South African government to court five years ago, in an effort to overturn the country's medicines act that was designed to bring drug prices down. Now Novartis is up to it again and is targeting India.

India produces affordable medicines that are vital to many people living in developing countries. Over half the medicines currently used for AIDS treatment in developing countries come from India and such medicines are used to treat over 80% of the 80,000 AIDS patients in Médecins Sans Frontières projects.

If Novartis is successful in its challenge against the Indian government and its patent law, more medicines are likely to be patented in India, making it very difficult for generic producers to make affordable versions of them. This could affect millions of people around the world who depend on medicines produced in India.

Tell Novartis it has no business standing in the way of people's right to access the medicines they need. Sign on and urge Novartis to DROP THE CASE against the Indian government.

Questions That Need Answering

2007-03-15T09:39:00.000+11:00

Why do they call them Automatic Teller Machines, when you still need to manually key in your PIN, the amount you want, which account to get it from, and whether or not you want a receipt?

What will unlucky lovers say, now that there aren't plenty of fish left in the sea?

Why are there approximately 25 different types of toilet paper of all different kinds of ply thickness, colours, patterns and bleached pristine whiteness (bleach is bad for the environment, you know) when it's all really about poo? Is this the best that capitalism has to offer?

Do sheep publish silly videos on Ewe-Tube?

Why is Egg Like nothing like eggs?

Has anyone ever tried to make ear wax candles?

Why don't we connect gym equipment to generators, so that we can make electricity whilst we get fit?

Why, in this age of rampant obesity, don't we pull out all the shopping mall travelators and escalators, and replace them with good old-fashioned stairs (with a few lifts for the less mobile)?

Can you get skin cancer from too much Moon Tan?

When the astronauts landed on the Moon, did they bring bits of bread and fondue forks?

Why do golfers dress like bad seventies' pimps?

Do elephants get nose bleeds?

What is it that hyenas and kookaburras find so funny?

Do sloths exercise vigorously when the Discovery Channel cameras are turned off?

Wouldn't it be great if onions made you laugh instead of cry?

How is it possible for Keith Richards to still be alive? Is Death scared of him?

Time For Some Levity

2007-03-07T18:18:00.000+11:00

Alright, Rambling Masses,

Time for some bad jokes to lighten the mood a bit:

Did you hear about the gay spider? He couldn't keep his hands off his mate's fly.

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?"

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the barman says "We've got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says "What, Gerald?"

A guy walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre, so the bartender gives him one.

A dyslexic walks into a bra...

How many dyslexics does it take to change a lightblub?

The above two jokes were brought to you by the BLP (International Dyslexia Association).

Did you hear about the Irish circumciser? He slipped and got the sack.

How do you start a pudding race? Sago.

How do you start a Teddy Bear race? Ready, Teddy, Go.

Why do elephants have big ears? Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

Why don't worms have balls? Because they can't dance.

Strike while the iron (or blog) is hot

2007-03-06T19:59:00.000+11:00

Well, it is exciting having a blog, at least for the first little bit. I am sure that I will tire of it one day, but in the meantime, here's an update.

I thought that I would share a poem with you, oh Rambling Masses. I wrote it many many moons ago, during a particularly dull university lecture, and I still kinda like it. Enjoy.

Terror Former

Terra Firma,
Terror Former,
Release your grip on me.
Tug of love,
What goes up comes down -
Stupid planet, can't you see:
It's fatal attraction,
A lethal action,
Reaction,
Faction,
Fight,
Loss of sight -
Can't you see,
It's fatal attraction
To keep us here,
Because we'll destroy you
Through our fear.
Sinking feeling,
Stinking stealing -
Mother! We will abuse you;
The situation is grave -
Only one way to save
Yourself:
Gravity -
Don't.

3rd April, 1992.

Greetings To The Rambling Masses

2007-03-06T13:44:00.000+11:00

Greetings to you, oh Rambling Masses,

What a wonderfully smart-ass greeting, pretentious, wild and derogatory. A great way to start this, the first blog of one Peter Walder.

If you have heard of me before, then you are one of the very few, for I do not actively seek the 15 minutes of shame that is alloted to all of us carrot-munchers. Fuck popularity, I say, which is indeed what I would say, considering I was an unpopular child growing up, beaten by bullies, teased and largely alone.

Thankfully, I did not give up my individuality, that most precious of commodities, purely for the sake of avoiding a few rough times. The most important things (apart from "da bussy" as one taxi driver once told me) are individuality, free thought, open expression, and a will to live instead of merely existing.

I was lucky enough (and we really do make our own luck, in my humble opinion) to be blessed with a great family and a fine circle of very close friends. They help me to center myself, to complete me, and to justify the belief that there are great people living on this planet, great people who have the potential to achieve great things.

So, you ask yourselves (those who are (un)fortunate enough to stumble across my wild ramble), what is this blog all about? Good question. I don't know myself. In fact, it is guaranteed to change as time goes by, as I discover my literary voice in this vast vapid sea of the internot.

As I get older (I am the ripe old age of 35 at this point), I find myself getting more and more opinionated, more and more angry with the world that surrounds us, more and more fed up with capitalist dogma, religious extremism, short-sighted power-hungry pork-rind groping their way towards ephemeral power and money, and vast vapid seas of ignorance that cloak themselves in self-righteous costumes of right and wrong.

In fact, the older I get, the more I think that perhaps anarchy is the best form of government, considering that we've had a crack at trying to develop a form of mass co-existence for the past 5 or 10 thousand years, and have made only a perfunctory, rather ordinary progress in that direction.

Let's face it, half of our world is ruled by bloodthirsty fascists, the other half is ruled by equally bloodthirsty capitalist pig-dogs and figureheads (I won't even try to have a go at George Bush, for he is not even worthy of a vague derogatory comment, being a mere lap-dog for the monied powers that be).

So, what is the alternative? It is easy to have a go at "the system" - that's a real no-brainer. But, to truly contribute to the worldly school of thought, you need to start proposing some genuine alternatives. To be a critic is the easiest thing in the world - in fact, they should give out lobotomies to all critics, just to help them on their way. Criticism is piss-easy, something that hardly needs any effort. What really takes brains and guts is to suggest alternatives.

My confession at this stage is that I have a couple of minor alternatives, but they are poorly thought out, and not really worthy, but hey, at least I am trying.

Which is more than I can say for "Beige", the man who currently governs the country in which I live (Australia). He has spent some 20 years in politics, learning the great art of never saying anything, never committing to anything, never making a contentious decision, never advancing beyond the immediate concerns that impact on the chances of another term in government, which is unfortunately something he is not alone in, despite being a grand master of the art.

Now, hog-tie me, cover me in honey, and dump me on an ants nest if I'm not one of the most naive bastards on this fair planet, but I believe that we are one world. I was born in Denmark, and at the tender age of 8, I started a new life in Australia. Old enough to remember the old life, young enough to adapt to the new life, I have the enviable power to be able to pick and choose the best of two worlds, albeit both being of narrow western viewpoints.

One of the things that really blows my mind is the continual hustle and bustle that revolves around arbitrary lines drawn on a map, around which imaginary friend you believe in (let's call it religion for now), around which capitalist (or fake communist) ideals you follow with your every living breath, around petty power and ephemeral might, around who willl win the next rash of mindless reality television concept that is just another copy of a shite pretense of entertainment to begin with.

Why don't we, just for once, start to consider the deeper meanings of life, to contribute in a real sense, to make something of our lives more than the surface day-to-day that we think makes us who we are? Who cares what shoes we wear, what cars we drive, how big our house is? I don't, for one, but I seem to be much in the minority.

So, why am I writing this blog? To vent my spleen. I am lucky enough to have been born into circumstances where I have been able to fight my way from below the poverty line to a position of comparative wealth. I have the financial freedom to pick and choose my destiny, unlike the billions who are unfortunate enough to not be in that situation. And so, I ask myself the great question of life - how can I make a difference, how can I contribute to this life that we all hold so dear? It seems that one of the strengths I have is my ability to write, and so I write. And in writing, I hope to explore and to crystallise that which I believe in, and to perhaps positively affect others of a like mind. What more can one ask in this world?

Be warned, for I am hoping to pull no punches, to write what I feel, and to cathartically meander my way through the complexities of modern existence, learning along the way.

I am also hoping to reach a balance - to drag down that which needs to be pilloried, to lift up that which needs to be extolled. In my eyes, I hope to mirror that which you, the long-suffering reader, see in your everyday.