Democrazy In Australia

Hello Rambling Masses,

Here I sit, blogging away on the eve of the federal election in Australia. I think firstly that there is no possible way that I am ever going to vote for Beige Howard, the Liberal Party, or the steaming turd that is their policies of inaction, floating on top of the sewerage pit that is modern Australian politics.

Prior to the election campaign that has done so much to prove that the modern developed world has no depth or direction whatsoever, I thought that I might vote Labor. However, 4-odd weeks of campaigning has proved to me beyond a doubt that the Media Whore and the Labor party that he leads has very little to offer by way of actual policy or direction for this once-great country of ours.

It amazes me somewhat that I am actually going to vote Green. I used to think that The Greens were a bunch of reactionary extremists with no real view on anything beyond the environment. In fact, a rather funny quote used to spring to mind - "I used to think that The Greens were a watermelon - green on the outside, and red on the inside, but I now know that they are an avocado - hard green on the outside, soft green on the inside, with a brown nut in the middle". However, largely through the leadership of Senator Bob Brown, I have changed my mind about The Greens.

For a start, they are pretty well the only party that has ignored spin in favour of substance, and has stuck their neck out and made some actual policy statements on the issues that really matter - the environment, Kyoto, concrete emission targets, opposition to the Gunns pulp mill in Tassie, and other green policy domains. However, where they've really stood out is in their mature policy approach to all matters that affect Australians in this day and age. They have a genuine plan for pulling Australian troops out of an American colonial war that we should never have entered. They have a preference towards spending on services and infrastructure, instead of giving away $34 billion worth of tax cuts (which will go to the banks when interest rates go up and up and up).

If we don't remove the AWA's from the employment landscape, then we will all pay for it dearly. Things might be running along tickety-boo at the moment, but as soon as China and India falter economically (which surely they will in the next 5 years or so, without a doubt), and as soon as this grossly over-inflated resource boom chokes and dies, then we will be left with the mighty corporations who have the power to shaft you, me, and everyone else when they start to feel the pinch. "Fair Go" Ombudsman my arse. We will all be well and truly screwed. Still, if the majority of Australians actually vote for that Liberal asshole, we will have deserved the reaping of the harvest we have sown...

My only hope is that Labor wins the election, for they are the lesser of two evils in the current political environment, and The Greens have the balance of power in the Senate.

Beige Howard has gone into the prior two elections with the grand sweeping statements that his government is responsible for the economic strength of Australia. I can't believe how stupid the electorate has been to believe him. A deranged baboon could have run the country and achieved as much. In a time when the world economy is doing so well, and when the international resources boom is driving ridiculous amounts of demand, there is no way that Australia could have been grossly economically mismanaged, and still not come out smelling like the proverbial rose. To take the credit for this, and to win the last election on a promise to keep interest rates low, is the ultimate in political spin. The constant emphasis on the economy above any other policy is one of the most shortsighted and arrogant political initiatives of any age, and it gets my blood boiling. We are standing upon the threshold of a pivotal moment in human history, when the very survival of the human race and thousands of species that we co-exist with are threatened, and all this anachronistic shithead can think about is the economy and how wonderful it is that we are all buying plasma screens and new cars...

My concern is that when the mining companies dig 1.6km below the deserts of Australia, they will find Beige Howard's head, buried deep in the sand. They won't be able to export him as a resource, because the rest of the world already has their quota of narrow-minded ineffectual leaders who choose inaction instead of genuine policy at a time when the world needs leadership and a departure from capitalist vested interests.

My other concern is that a proctologist will find Beige Howard's head buried deep inside his own anus, the irony of discovering a modern-day ouroboros won't be appreciated, and the joys of the infinite stupidity of man will be overlooked.

If Beige Howard wins this election, I will have lost all faith in the political system and in the intelligence of the average Australian voter.

I hear that New Zealand is a nice place to live...