Hello, oh Rambling Masses,
There are more of us than we think whose lives are touched by mental illness. Pass a stranger in the street, and you may perhaps never know that they suffer from depression, anxiety, PTSD, an eating disorder, bipolar or the like.
The reason for this is that mentally "ill" people are just like everyone else. Everyone has their up times and their down times. The only difference between "normal" people (if that class even exists) and mentally "ill" people is that our ups and downs may be higher or lower than others.
Our moods and disposition exist on a vast spectrum, from soaring high as an eagle to crawling low as the worm.
For those of you who have had tough times with your moods, with your dark thoughts, with your energy levels, with your motivation, I can highly recommend a wonderful site called BlueBoard, run by the Australian National University. It is a forum that allows people to communicate with each other, to nurture and support each other, to laugh and cry and shake their fists at the firmament, and to try to understand how to live a better life with the conditions that we have.
The moderators of this forum are very careful to maintain the safety and anonymity of the users. This allows a wonderful environment to exist, where even the very shy or anxious are able to express themselves with impunity (except for following the forum rules, which rank very highly the quality of showing respect to others).
My name is Silenus,
And I have bipolar.
I am just like you.
Peekaboo!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
My Life As A Fragmented But Congealing Individual
Hello, oh Rambling Masses,
Oh my, hasn't it just been the longest time since my last post? Naughty me. Spank my botty with a birch branch and call me Mary...
I've been very busy, falling apart, then picking the pieces up again, then realising that I didn't really know how to put those pieces back together, then calling the manufacturer... well, strangely for an atheist, he didn't answer, so I have just had to make it up as I go along.
What has ended up happening is that I am reasonably happy with the grand reconstruction project, despite some early teething problems. I am positive, less "ranty" (hey it was a trigger for my depression, so it had to go), have learned more about myself in the past 2 years than I have in the 40 years before that, and feel a new sense of vim and vigour that will hopefully stay with me for some time to come.
Okay, so, because I couldn't contact the manufacturer, and because I was out of warranty, and because I was a novice, a pleb, a noob, a babe in the woods, a rube, a terrible tyro, a naive neophyte, I probably got some things wrong. Certainly, my nose now seems to be where my arse was, or perhaps they now coexist, and that is not exactly the best cohabitation possible. Oh, and my moods are swinging up and down like a yo-yo of yore, but hey, that may just be mild bipolarity manifesting itself. Who knows?
I am happy to be walking the path I have chosen, and to have the amazing and wonderful opportunity to have multiple other paths spread out before me in a grand panoply, so I say that I am one of the many lucky creatures under this radiant, warming sun.
I currently realise what I have, am grateful for it, do not fill my life with the meaningless pursuit of "useless" things that only engage me on the surface, but rather go for the real deal, the important stuff. I am learning to appreciate the here and now, instead of pining for the past (or kicking myself for the mistakes that reside there), and also instead of looking ahead with anxiety and fear to a future that I only have a very limited (but modestly tangible) control over.
And so, I take what I can get. I appreciate the "now", and I try to connect with the potential I have to grow, to develop, to evolve, to better myself. I may not have a life free of pain or suffering, but then, who does?
Like Daffy, swinging from that great tree, I go...
Yoiks and away...
[Bang!]
Yo... yoiks and aw... away...
[Bang!]
Yowk 'n awee...
[Bang!]
Yowers...
Oh my, hasn't it just been the longest time since my last post? Naughty me. Spank my botty with a birch branch and call me Mary...
I've been very busy, falling apart, then picking the pieces up again, then realising that I didn't really know how to put those pieces back together, then calling the manufacturer... well, strangely for an atheist, he didn't answer, so I have just had to make it up as I go along.
What has ended up happening is that I am reasonably happy with the grand reconstruction project, despite some early teething problems. I am positive, less "ranty" (hey it was a trigger for my depression, so it had to go), have learned more about myself in the past 2 years than I have in the 40 years before that, and feel a new sense of vim and vigour that will hopefully stay with me for some time to come.
Okay, so, because I couldn't contact the manufacturer, and because I was out of warranty, and because I was a novice, a pleb, a noob, a babe in the woods, a rube, a terrible tyro, a naive neophyte, I probably got some things wrong. Certainly, my nose now seems to be where my arse was, or perhaps they now coexist, and that is not exactly the best cohabitation possible. Oh, and my moods are swinging up and down like a yo-yo of yore, but hey, that may just be mild bipolarity manifesting itself. Who knows?
I am happy to be walking the path I have chosen, and to have the amazing and wonderful opportunity to have multiple other paths spread out before me in a grand panoply, so I say that I am one of the many lucky creatures under this radiant, warming sun.
I currently realise what I have, am grateful for it, do not fill my life with the meaningless pursuit of "useless" things that only engage me on the surface, but rather go for the real deal, the important stuff. I am learning to appreciate the here and now, instead of pining for the past (or kicking myself for the mistakes that reside there), and also instead of looking ahead with anxiety and fear to a future that I only have a very limited (but modestly tangible) control over.
And so, I take what I can get. I appreciate the "now", and I try to connect with the potential I have to grow, to develop, to evolve, to better myself. I may not have a life free of pain or suffering, but then, who does?
Like Daffy, swinging from that great tree, I go...
Yoiks and away...
[Bang!]
Yo... yoiks and aw... away...
[Bang!]
Yowk 'n awee...
[Bang!]
Yowers...
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