My Life As A Fragmented But Congealing Individual

Hello, oh Rambling Masses,

Oh my, hasn't it just been the longest time since my last post? Naughty me. Spank my botty with a birch branch and call me Mary...

I've been very busy, falling apart, then picking the pieces up again, then realising that I didn't really know how to put those pieces back together, then calling the manufacturer... well, strangely for an atheist, he didn't answer, so I have just had to make it up as I go along.

What has ended up happening is that I am reasonably happy with the grand reconstruction project, despite some early teething problems. I am positive, less "ranty" (hey it was a trigger for my depression, so it had to go), have learned more about myself in the past 2 years than I have in the 40 years before that, and feel a new sense of vim and vigour that will hopefully stay with me for some time to come.

Okay, so, because I couldn't contact the manufacturer, and because I was out of warranty, and because I was a novice, a pleb, a noob, a babe in the woods, a rube, a terrible tyro, a naive neophyte, I probably got some things wrong. Certainly, my nose now seems to be where my arse was, or perhaps they now coexist, and that is not exactly the best cohabitation possible. Oh, and my moods are swinging up and down like a yo-yo of yore, but hey, that may just be mild bipolarity manifesting itself. Who knows?

I am happy to be walking the path I have chosen, and to have the amazing and wonderful opportunity to have multiple other paths spread out before me in a grand panoply, so I say that I am one of the many lucky creatures under this radiant, warming sun.

I currently realise what I have, am grateful for it, do not fill my life with the meaningless pursuit of "useless" things that only engage me on the surface, but rather go for the real deal, the important stuff. I am learning to appreciate the here and now, instead of pining for the past (or kicking myself for the mistakes that reside there), and also instead of looking ahead with anxiety and fear to a future that I only have a very limited (but modestly tangible) control over.

And so, I take what I can get. I appreciate the "now", and I try to connect with the potential I have to grow, to develop, to evolve, to better myself. I may not have a life free of pain or suffering, but then, who does?

Like Daffy, swinging from that great tree, I go...

Yoiks and away...

[Bang!]

Yo... yoiks and aw... away...

[Bang!]

Yowk 'n awee...

[Bang!]

Yowers...